


See? » Zarry

by itszaynandharry



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Blind Character, Harry is really smart, M/M, Physical Disability, Zayn is a smoker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 64,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7870360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itszaynandharry/pseuds/itszaynandharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things in Zayn's life haven't ever gone exactly as he planned and as a result, he's forced to move back home and face the facts: It just wasn't meant to be. </p><p>Between looking for love and trying to kick his smoking habit, the last thing he expects is for a certain curly haired and optimistic blind man to walk into his life and turn it completely upside down. And though he has already chalked his life up to be nothing but a complete failure, he learns that not everything about himself is as overbearingly disappointing as he thinks it is. He has always had so much to give. But sometimes it just takes a blind man to help him see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:  
> ▶ Some Language  
> ▶ Eventual Sexual Scenes

"You're so weak, Zayn!" Zayn said to himself after he took a puff of a cigarette. "You said you wouldn't do this again and here you are! Ugh! Why am I enslaved to you? You don't own me!" He noticed an empty box of candy that had been thrown on the ground and kicked it into the street. He took one more puff of the cigarette when he heard a voice.

"Hello?"

He looked to his right in the direction of the house beside him and saw that there was a young man about his age and he was standing at his front door underneath the porch light. He had a garbage bag in his hand and he was also wearing sunglasses. _Sunglasses?_

"I will call the police. Show yourselves." He said.

"I'm right here, dumbass." Zayn told him because he was standing under a street light and in plain sight.

"Are you the only one?"

"Do you see anyone else?"

"So you were talking to yourself then?"

Zayn couldn't help but to constantly be sarcastic. "What do you think?"

"Oh. Okay..." His voice sounded cautious but Zayn watched as he slowly made his way down the pathway of his home and onto the sidewalk in his direction. He continued that way until he lightly bumped into the garbage can that was out in front of his house. He opened the top, lifted the bag he had and put it in the bin. When he closed the top, he turned toward Zayn.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Do I look okay?"

"No?" And it came out as a question. As if he really couldn't be sure despite the clearly bothered look Zayn had on his face.

"Then I'm not. And say, why do you have on sunglasses at night anyway? Who do you think you are?"

"I'm cool." he said. "Cool guys wear sunglasses, so where are yours?"

"Cool? Tssh. You're an idiot. That's what you are."

He saw the man turn his head sideways. "And yet, you are the one out here having a full on conversation with no one but yourself. Your room to talk is not that vast."

Zayn chuckled. That was actually true. "Yeah, you're right. My bad."

"So who are you? I've never heard you before." The man said and he ran his fingers through his hair. It was too dark for Zayn to get the accurate color but he could tell that it was curly from where he stood.

"I'm the neighbor that moved here in the house beside you." He said, finally making his way over to him. "I moved in two weeks ago."

"Oh yeah. I did hear a truck the other day. Couldn't see who was moving in though."

"Well it was me. Your new neighbor."

The man smiled. "You sound young. How old are you?"

"Guess."

"Well... I can't tell. But by the sound of your voice, I'd say you were twenty nine, thirty."

"Thirty? I can assure you I'm not that old. Is it the beard? Because this thing always makes me look older."

"So how old are you, then?"

"I'm twenty four. You?"

"Twenty three."

Zayn looked as if he's surprised. "Oh. I would have sworn you were younger."

"And why is that?"

"Because you seem so naïve."

The man hummed. "I won't take that as an insult."

Zayn chuckled weakly and took another puff of his cigarette. "Good. Because technically, it wasn't meant to be one."

As he said that, the man in front of him turned his head away and he coughed a few times.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Is the smoke bothering you? I can put it out." With that, he tossed it to the sidewalk and he smashed it under his foot.

"Thank you. But you didn't have to do that. I was going back inside anyway. I have to get my hands clean and get some sleep. But it was nice meeting you.

"Meeting me?" Zayn replied. "You don't even know my name."

"It's Zayn."

He was surprised by that. What? How did he know his name when they had never introduced each other? "How do you know my name when I've never met you any time before tonight?"

"I heard you say it when I walked out of the house. I thought you were talking to someone else but when you clarified that you weren't, it was kind of obvious."

"Ah." Zayn breathed out. "Observant."

"Yep." Harry smiled warmly at him and then turned his back to him. "Goodnight, Zayn. It was nice meeting you."

"But I didn't get your name." Zayn spoke up.

"Oh right. Silly me. I'm Harry."

"Harry..." His voice sounded distant although he was standing right there. "Goodnight Harry. Sorry if I disturbed you."

"It's okay."

He watched him as he made his way up the sidewalk and then the pathway to his house in the same manner that he came. Slowly and cautiously. Once the door to Harry's home closed, Zayn grunted to himself and looked down at the cigarette he had only been able to take a few puffs from. Wait a minute. That little conversation caused him to put his cigarette down. He smiled victoriously to himself. It'd be nice if he could do this more often versus giving in to his desire for nicotine. Instead of lighting up another to replace it, he just walked into his own home, then closed and locked the door behind him.

Later in the night, when he has stripped down to his underwear and crawled into bed, he thought about Harry. How strange he was and how he asked so many dumb questions as if he couldn't see for himself. What was wrong with him anyway, and why was he walking so... careful? He also thought about how weird he was. How he had those sunglasses on. _Sunglasses at night? Why would he even need those?_ It wasn't like the sun was out. Gosh, he sure would like to learn more about that guy. He seemed like he would be a pretty interesting neighbor.

He closed his eyes and turned over, deciding that he'd better get some rest. He could always find out more about what made Harry so strange another time. But quicker than expected, when he was just that close to drifting off to sleep, he swiftly sat up in bed and put a hand to his forehead, having come to the realization of what was really the case.

_Harry is blind._


	2. Honest Confessions

Zayn found himself standing at the door of Harry's house the next afternoon with a bag in his hand. He had spent the entire day wondering what to get Harry as an apology gift. And much to his surprise, it proved to be harder than he thought it to be.

Now that he knew Harry was blind, it required a lot more careful thinking. Harry could only smell, taste, touch and hear. So he figured the best way to try to get Harry to forgive him was to appeal to the senses he still had. That's why he ended up buying him candles that smelled like Cherry Blossoms.

The doorbell had long been rung, so he could hear the crack of the intercom. "Mindy?" A voice said.

Zayn frowned. "Um... No? This is Zayn. Your new neighbor who lives next door."

There was a pause. "Oh. What do you want?"

"I brought a gift. And I wanted to say I was sorry about last night."

Another pause. "Well... Okay. Come in."

He heard the door unlock and the door opened. Harry was there with his sunglasses on again. But unlike the black ones he wore last night, these were red.

"These are yours." He held the bag out to Harry. But Harry's back was turned and he was locking the door back.

"What's mine?"

"This." But when he remembered Harry couldn't see him holding the bag out, he smacked his forehead. _You idiot! He can't see!_

"I brought you a gift. Is there a place I should put it?"

"What is it?"

"Two candles. They're Cherry Blossom scented."

Right away, Harry perked up. "Candles? You got me candles?"

"Yeah. I was trying to be thoughtful and find a good gift. That's all I could come up with. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You were spot on. I have a special place for candles."

Zayn was surprised. How lucky was he to bring something Harry actually loved? "Really?"

He walked down the hallway slowly and waved Zayn to follow him. So he did. "Oh yes. Mindy always brings me candles. She knows how much I love to burn them."

That was the second time Zayn had heard that name. "Who's Mindy?"

"My friend. She comes by every week to make sure I have everything I need. She takes me shopping if I need it or anywhere else I have to go. You'd love her. She's about your age too."

Zayn hummed. A young girl his age? That sounded interesting enough. And if she was cute, that would be a bonus. "How often does she come by?"

"Once or twice a week. Sometimes three if we're going out together or something."

"Are you two dating?" He asked to be sure.

"No. Never. She'd be a nice girl if I was into them. But then again it wouldn't have mattered. She's dating someone."

Zayn cursed in his head. Well, that was just his luck. And wait... Harry was gay?

"So this is where I keep my candles."

They reached an open door to a spare room at the back the house and Zayn could see shelves full of candles of different shapes, sizes, fragrances and in many different containers. He couldn't believe it.

"Oh shit. Do you ever burn any or do you just collect them?"

He chuckled. "Of course I burn them. But it takes a long time to burn one candle up. So they sort of just pile up."

Zayn nodded. "Yeah, you're telling me."

"So where are the candles you brought?"

"Oh. Right." He reached in the bag and held them out. "There are two."

Harry reached out for them, but Zayn had to bring them to his hand so he could feel them. Harry grabbed hold of them and went right to the shelf where he knew there was an open spot. "There we go. Thanks, Zayn."

"Um... How did you know that was there?"

"How did I know what was where?"

"How did you know there was an open space right where you sat them?"

"Because I keep everything in order. Plus I have great memory. When you can't see where everything is, you have to remember where it is instead. That's how I know the sunglasses I'm wearing are red."

Zayn balled up the bag in his hand. "Okay, that's creepy."

"No it isn't."

"Then how do you explain knowing what color glasses you have on?"

"I only have five different pairs of sunglasses. I have black, white, yellow, blue and red. I keep them in my dresser in that order. So since I grabbed the pair farthest in the back, it means I'm wearing red."

Zayn was shocked. "Wow. It's like you're gifted."

"I am. You know what they say. Once you lose one of your senses, the rest of your senses are heightened. I've always been blind so I wouldn't know the difference. But the way people act as if what I do isn't normal tells me it must be true."

Zayn felt embarrassed now. Even if Harry probably encountered people like him all the time, he didn't want to be one to make him seem odd. "Yeah... Nice candle collection though."

"Thanks."

"Anyway... I'm really sorry about last night. I was so preoccupied with myself that I didn't even realize you were blind. I know I said and did some pretty inconsiderate things."

Harry smiled. "That's okay. I wasn't bothered at all. Although it's nice to know that you thought about it long enough to get up the next day, buy me a gift and bring it to me."

He felt his face go hot. He just realized that was exactly what he did. "Yeah. Basically."

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

"That must be Mindy."

Zayn backed out of the way and let him go past. It was so amazing watching Harry make his way from the end of the hallway to the door without bumping into the walls, that he just stood in place.

"Mindy?"

"Mindy!" A voice said through the intercom.

When he heard her cheerful voice, he happily opened the door. There, revealed a red head girl with brown eyes. She rocked a floral dress and black cowgirl boots. She was also very pretty. It was too bad she was taken because just by looking at her, she seemed like an extremely fun girl to date.

"Harry. How are you?" She asked as she took the door from him, closed it and locked it.

"I'm good. I've just been at home being a bit bored."

"Awh." She leaned forward to hug him and that's when she noticed Zayn at the end of the hallway.

"Oh. But not that bored, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have a new friend?"

"Oh. You mean Zayn. Actually he's my next door neighbor. He brought me a gift."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Zayn?"

"Huh?"

Harry laughed. "Why are you still at the end of the hallway? Come here and meet Mindy. She's the girl I was telling you about."

Zayn slowly made his way down the hallway and shook her hand. It was soft. "Hi. I'm Zayn."

"Nice to meet you. I'm a friend of Harry's. So you're his neighbor?"

"Yep. Just moved in a couple weeks ago."

"Ah. I see."

"He brought me candles." Harry added. "Cherry Blossom scented."

"Ooh. That's nice. And very thoughtful. How did you know he loved candles?"

Zayn shrugged and chuckled nervously. "Lucky guess."

"That's alright. It's the idea that you decided to get him a gift in the first place that matters." She pat his shoulder and went past them into the kitchen.

Zayn poked Harry's arm. "Um... I'm gonna get going, Harry. Maybe I'll see you some other time?"

Harry nodded. "Sure. I guess so. Thanks again for the gift."

"You're welcome." He unlocked and opened door and when he went out, Harry closed and locked it behind him.

"Well, Zayn's gone." Harry announced as he went to the kitchen where he heard Mindy open the refrigerator. He knew she was checking to see what things he might have to pick up the next time they went to the store.

"Already? Was it because of me?"

"Probably. He doesn't really know you that well. Actually, he doesn't even know me that well either. Truthfully, I just met him last night and today was the first time he was ever in my house."

She gasped. "Harry. The whole point of putting in the intercom system is so you can talk to people safely if you don't know them very well. It's not smart to just let anyone in. He could have been dangerous."

"Doubt it." Harry chuckled. "I can tell he isn't. Plus he told me what he was here for before I opened the door. I know what to do when someone rings the doorbell, you know."

She hummed. "Yeah. I guess you do and it's a good thing. It would be so upsetting if I had to walk in here and find you dead. Especially when I had such good news."

Harry smiled. He loved Mindy's good news. Listening to her express her joy made him happy too. "Good news? What's the good news?"

"Well. I hope you're really ready."

"I am. What is it?"

"Last night, Liam and I went on a date. He told me to dress up real nice and so I did. He took me to this fancy restaurant with crystal chandeliers and everything. Next thing I knew he was pulling a gray velvet box from the pocket of his suit coat. He proposed!"

Harry was lost for words. "Wow. Liam proposed?"

"Yes!" She squealed. "It was the sweetest night of my life."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him yes. Gosh, I can't wait to marry him. Can you believe it Harry? I'm getting married!"

He nodded with a forced smile. "Of course I can. Why wouldn't he want to marry you? Look at you."

She grinned. She knew he couldn't physical see her but it always meant a lot to her when he said things like that. Because one thing she knew was that everything he saw beautiful about her came from inside. And that was always what mattered the most.

"You're a sweetie pie Harry. If you weren't so into guys, I'd make you mine instead."

"Yeah. I wish."

He heard her rummaging through the cabinets once more and he felt around for the kitchen chair so he could plop down in it. He was proud of her. She deserved to spend the rest of her life with someone special to her. But for some reason this good news was much different from her normal good news. This good news kind of scared him a bit. Cause all he could really do was find himself thinking about what her getting married might mean for him.


	3. The Old, The New

Zayn breathed a sigh of relief as he quickly ducked into the mechanic shop.

"Good morning, son." His father greeted.

"Morning, Dad."

"You're a little late."

"Yeah. Traffic. You know how people always magically forget how to drive in the rain."

He nodded. "Well, the computer is waiting for you."

"Yes sir."

He took his bag from around his body, scurried behind the counter and logged into the computer.

Zayn's father, Yaser, was the mechanic at this shop and this was his business. When Zayn was young, Yaser used to do all kinds of work on his friends' cars. It wasn't until after his wife, Patricia, told him he should make a business out of it that he actually took note of his skills and took it seriously. And he seemed to have done it at the right time too, because their business thrived right away.

Before Zayn left for college, his father urged him to stay and work in the shop so he could properly run it when he gave it to him one day. But Zayn wasn't interested in cars or how they worked or needed to be fixed. He wanted to go to college and do something different. Three years after he graduated high school, he finally stopped procrastinating and went. Unfortunately, after three years of school, his life suddenly turned for the worst and two months ago, he dropped out of school and came home.

He knew his father was disappointed because if Zayn wasn't going to work for him, then he wanted him to at least finish college. But Zayn was Yaser's only son and Yaser could never express his disappointment directly to him even if he felt it in secret. So he happily offered him a job at his shop and Zayn was taken back in to live with him, his mother and his twenty one year old sister, Safaa.

However, Zayn knew he couldn't take staying with his family too long. After getting a taste of living away from them and getting to do his own thing, sharing everything and having a curfew was out of the question. So the first opportunity he got, he found a house to rent and went for it. Luckily for him, he had family privilege. So his check, unknowingly to the other workers at the shop, was always a little fatter. That meant he had plenty of money to take care of himself and it was the only thing that allowed him to live on his own. His father had always been the best father to him.

Just as his computer warmed up, the bell above the door dinged. It was his first customer of the day. He perked up and smiled at them. Finally someone was here to start off the day. Getting customers was always exciting. Well... Not really. But it did always make the time go by faster.

*

*

For some reason, things in Zayn's life always had a strange way of catching up to him. Whether it be his job, hasty decisions or people he came across and left behind in life. In this case, it happened to be the people he came across and left behind.

Being back home meant being back amongst everything he knew before he left. Not just family, but friends and familiar places too. So it would likely be impossible not to run into someone from the neighborhood or his old school.

Patricia had been eager to get together as a family and celebrate Zayn moving out on his own. But Zayn knew that he still had some last minute things around the house to do. He didn't have much furniture in the house besides one couch in the living room, a bed and chest in his room and a table in the kitchen. But he at least wanted to make that look nice. So he figured some nice things for a table setting and throw pillows for the couch should make his half empty place look better. At least it could help convince his parents that moving out on his own was the best decision.

So after work when the rain had subsided, he had found the old home decor place in a shopping center not too far from his place of work and went there. He did end up finding some really nice pillows with sewn on patterns as well as white plates with gold edges. The gold wasn't real, of course, but that didn't stop it from being pretty.

As he was coming out with a bag of plates in one hand and a bag with two pillows in the other, he heard his name.

"Zayn?"

He stopped and turned around and exchanged shock with someone he hadn't seen in three years. He froze.

"Yeah, I thought that was you coming out of there! Wow, man. Look at you!"

Zayn froze where he was and let the blue eyed man in thick rimmed glasses come hug him. He was unable to hug him back because of the bags.

"How are you, Zayn?"

"I'm okay. How about yourself, Louis."

"I've been good. The veterinarian career still hasn't taken off yet, but I'm moving in the right direction, I think. I work at that pet shop next to the store you came out of. I just got off from work."

Zayn seemed surprised. "Oh. I see. That explains everything."

"So it's been a while since we've seen each other. When you left, you kind of ditched me. I would text you occasionally just to see how you were doing but you never sent me texts back."

Zayn looked away guiltily. "Well... See... I was at college... You know..."

"Nah, that's okay. You don't have to lie. I got the message that you were doing your own thing up there. Plus, I don't think I was ever your cup of tea. Maybe in highschool we were best friends. But after that, I could never be the people you were into. The party buddy type."

He really felt guilty now. "No, Lou. Well, yeah, it's true you were kind of a nerd and I wasn't. But that wasn't why." _Liar._  "Just... You were so far away. We couldn't hang out anyway. But I'm back now."

Louis tilted his head sideways. "You're back? Like on vacation?"

Zayn shook his head, feeling embarrassed. "No. For good."

"You transferred down here to college?"

"I dropped out."

Louis was shocked. "In your last year? Zayn, you only had one more year left."

"I know. But a lot stuff happened up there. It's not something I particularly want to get into now in the parking lot."

"That's okay. You don't have to. And I won't ask."

Zayn lowered his head. Louis always did understand him and respect him. If anything, that was the real reason they were best friends in highschool. And after the way things went for him a few months ago, he could definitely use a true friend to talk to right now. "Um, Lou."

"Hm?"

"How about we go for coffee and have a chat about it. Maybe we could catch up on old times and stuff."

He shrugged. "Yeah, that sounds cool."

"Do you have the same number?"

He nodded. "Yep. Sure do. You?"

"Yep. So we should do that, then. Right now, I'm still settling in my new house. Just moved in almost three weeks ago. My family is going to come over for dinner to celebrate. But after that, I promise we'll get together."

Louis smiled. "Okay. I'll be waiting. See you then, Z."

He chuckled at the use of his old nickname. "You too."

After he finally got in the car and left for home, he ran his hand through his hair. He couldn't believe he had just ran into Louis after not having seen him or spoken to him in three years. He and Louis used to be the best of friends when they were in highschool. They were often made fun of since Louis sometimes flaunted his smarts while Zayn didn't know anything impressive enough to flaunt. But that never mattered because they cared about each other and knew that was most important. However, when Louis went to college straight out of highschool, they slowly started to drift apart. Zayn wasn't really going anywhere and sometimes found himself getting extremely jealous of Louis and how easy that all came to him. By the time Louis started his third year and Zayn had started his first, Zayn had no interest in continuing their friendship.

Now that he saw Louis again, he felt bad about purposely ignoring him. Louis never did anything to offend him. All he did was be himself. Maybe if Zayn appreciated that most in a friend, then he wouldn't be back home after quitting school in the first place.

➡➡➡➡➡

A few nights later, Zayn was at home, eating with his family at the dinner table. He didn't have to cook a thing. His mother made most of the meal and brought it over. All he had to do was supply the rolls and the ice cream for desert.

"I see you've tried to dress this place up and make it look very nice." His mother said.

"Yes. I did. But I'll slowly buy things to make it look more homey. Next time you come by, it'll look better."

"But you can't paint these dull walls as long as you're only renting. At least not without their permission. So that'd be hard, wouldn't it?"

"I guess you could say that. But I wasn't going to do much painting anyway so that doesn't make much of a difference to me."

Safaa smiled. "Must be nice though. Having this all to yourself. Not having us around every day."

He chuckled. "Well, don't get me wrong. I love you three. But after having my freedom, I just missed it, you know. I like having my own thing."

"Me too. Once I graduate, renting will be a thing I'd look into too."

He nodded. "By the way, speaking of graduating, how's college going?"

"Still going great." She said.

"Still haven't picked out a profession yet?"

"No. But I do know it'll be something in the medical field, no doubt. We'll see."

Yaser smiled. "You have to finish first. Can't do anything if you don't finish."

"I know, daddy."

Patricia sat her fork down and looked across the table at Zayn. "So... How do you like the neighborhood, sweetie?"

"It's fine. I'd don't have a problem with it at all."

"Is it safe?"

"I would think so. I haven't had any concerns since I've been here."

"Well, that's good."

"What about the neighbors, though?" Yaser questioned.

Zayn shrugged. "I haven't really met them. I've only met the one that lives to the left of me."

"And how are they?"

"It's just one person and he's blind. He's also one year younger than me."

"And he lives alone?" His sister asked very surprised by that.

"Yep. He lives alone."

"So how does he get around and stuff?"

"Apparently his memory gets him around his house. But when he wants to leave the house to shop or something, he has a friend for that. Her name's Mindy. I met her too. She's really sweet and she's my age."

The girls began to give him suggestive looks but he didn't even entertain them. "Nope. She's dating already."

"Aw, that's too bad." Patricia said. "But you'll find the one very soon, sweetheart."

He quickly shot that thought down as well. "Mom. I know you'd like to see me marry but after everything I've been through, I need someone I can trust. And... I'm not sure I should be hunting for that yet because obviously, I'm not good at it. I think temporary is good for now. Just a girl to chill with."

She was apprehensive about that. "You just want someone temporary?"

"Yes."

"Temporary is just another fancy way of saying unfinished, don't you know that, son?"

Zayn sighed. "Yes, dad."

"Alright then. Just remember that." Yaser didn't want to comment too much more on Zayn's love life so the sudden silence was starting to make the atmosphere awkward. The only thing that saved it was when Safaa announced she was finished eating and wanted desert.

They didn't need to sit around the table for that, so while his family ate desert in the house, he went outside for smoke. After a smoking for a couple minutes, he heard a door close to the right of him. He looked back to see Harry coming out of his house and he had another garbage bag in his hand.

He watched him slowly make his way down the pathway the way he did before and then turn left when he got to the sidewalk. It still amazed him how Harry didn't ever go off the sidewalk. How was he so good at that?

When he softly bumped into the garbage can, he lifted the top and put the bag over in it. Zayn had been waiting for him to do that before he spoke up.

"What's up, Harry?"

Harry jumped. "Zayn? You scared me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to speak."

"Well, hello Zayn. Out for a smoke?"

"Yeah."

"I see."

Zayn had to stop himself from pointing out his choice of words. "So how are things?"

"Still good. And you?"

"Great. Right now, my family is visiting. They're inside."

"Really?" Harry said excitedly. "Are they visiting from out of town or something?"

"No. They live in the city. It's just like a little dinner for me moving into my own place, you know."

"Yeah. That sounds like fun. But you're missing it while you're out here on your smoke break."

He shrugged. "You're right. I guess. But I'll be going back in soon anyway." He took a puff of his cigarette and blew out the smoke.

"Well, have fun with your family."

"Actually, one quick question."

"Yeah?"

"How is it that you get from your front door to this garbage can without drifting over into the grass or off the sidewalk?"

He chuckled. "Years and years of practice. I've been in this house for as long as I've lived. Twenty three years."

"Oh. You have?"

"Yeah. This was my grandmother's house but I lived here with her and when she died, she left the house to me."

"Oh. That makes sense. But how is it that your garbage can always ends up on the sidewalk so you bump into it? The sanitation workers usually leave them all in the street at the curb."

He nodded. "Yeah but see, Mindy always comes the day after they collect the garbage. Like last time when you met her. That was the day after."

"Oh, it sure was, wasn't it?"

"Yep. Basically this has gone on since we were young. When we were teenagers, she spray painted a mark on the sidewalk. So when she came by, she would just move the garbage can to the same spot every single time. That way I could count my steps and be accurate each time. It takes sixteen steps to get from my front door to the sidewalk. And once I face left it takes eight to reach the garbage can. But when I get to six, I walk a bit slower so I don't run into it too hard and fall, you know."

"Ah." Zayn said. "That's so interesting. Also, sorry about your grandmother passing away."

Harry pat the garbage can. "Thanks." He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Anyway, you should get back to your family. I'm sure they're missing you in there."

"Would you like to meet them?"

"No. That's okay. I don't want to barge in on your family time."

"But you wouldn't be."

"That's okay. I promise. Maybe next time?"

"Definately next time."

"So then I'll talk to you later then."

"Yep. I guess so."

As Harry walked away though, Zayn made it a point to watch his feet just so that he could count and see if Harry gave him accurate info. Just as he told him, it did take eight steps to reach the pathway of his home, and another sixteen steps until he reached his door.

"That's amazing." Zayn mumbled to himself.

Seeing things like that made him wish he saw more of Harry approaching everyday life. How did he cook? How did he choose what to wear outside of memorizing his colors of sunglasses? How did he handle everything he had to do? He would love to go over and learn all those things.

But how? Why would he go over there? He had no reason to see Harry. They weren't friends. They were just neighbors. So if he randomly showed up at his doorstep one day, that would be weird. _Too weird._

He huffed and looked out across the street where other houses stood. He didn't want to be the weird neighbor. So he guessed his only conversation would have to come on the days Harry took out the trash as he happened to be outside smoking a cigarette. That wasn't so bad though. Seeing him once a week was better than not seeing him at all.

 


	4. Ridding The Rue

Unfortunately for Zayn, things didn't always go according to the way he wished. Clearly, he had just gotten lucky the first two times because he was not able to accurately predict what time Harry would be bringing out his trash or on what days. So for the next two weeks, he missed seeing Harry at all. One evening, he did peek out of his blinds and saw Mindy go into Harry's house. But Harry never came out. Zayn was much too worried about being embarrassed to ask her about Harry and besides that, he was still one hundred percent sure he didn't want to be the weird neighbor.

So the next time Zayn saw Harry wasn't when he was on his smoke break at all. It happened to be in the unlikeliest place he had ever thought of.

"Let's see... Pillowcases... No that's curtains. I need pillowcases. Where are the—"

His thought was interupted when someone stepped out in front of his shopping cart and was knocked down. He didn't want to be rude and let whoever it was get up by themselves, so he rushed around the cart. Just as he was reaching for their hand to help them up, a voice confirmed their identity.

"Harry!" A females voice called.

Zayn's head shot up when he recognized it was Mindy.

"Well... I think I've just been hit by a shopping cart."

Zayn panicked. Of all the people in the world, he hit Harry? He hit a blind man. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Harry. I didn't see you. I didn't mean to. I was thinking out loud and not paying attention and I didn't see you."

Harry smiled as both Zayn and Mindy helped him up. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't see you either."

Mindy laughed at his joke, but Zayn couldn't see the humor. He'd just knocked Harry down with his shopping cart. Harry could have broken a kneecap or something. How was that funny?

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"I've learned not to ask." Mindy commented. "If he gets up and the first thing he does is make a joke, he's fine. If he doesn't, he's hurt. He hates when people ask if he's okay."

"Why?" Zayn asked.

"Because he thinks it means that people only pay closer attention when he falls because he's blind. Harry believes in himself, which is good, but he can be stubborn at times when it comes to help. Always has been."

"Hello, I'm right here."

"Yeah, we know. Um... I remember that you're Harry's neighbor. What was your name again?"

"Zayn. Zayn Malik."

"That's right. It sure is. Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"I was just about to run to the ladies' room but he hates when I drag him there with me. Do you mind staying here with him until I get back? I'll be quick."

Zayn shook his head. Of course he wouldn't mind. He'd been trying to talk to Harry alone for two weeks now. "No, I don't mind. Go ahead."

"Will you be okay, Harry?"

"Yes. I can handle myself."

"As long as you don't have to stand outside the bathroom door, right?"

Harry chuckled. "Yep. Now go."

She rushed off as fast as she could go without running and Zayn went behind his shopping cart so he could push it onto the aisle. "So I didn't figure I would run into you in Walmart."

"Literally."

Zayn did manage a smile at that one. "Embarrassing."

"That's alright. So what are you here for?"

"Pillowcases. I need new ones for my bed. All I have is a faded yellow one and a zebra patterned one. And the zebra pattern one was actually my sister's."

"Oh. Wow."

"Mhm. So that's what I'm here for. And you?"

"Mindy and I were looking at comforters."

Zayn cringed. Harry always seemed to have the most ironic choice of words when speaking. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. The one I have at home is just a smooth cloth comforter. But I want something with texture, you know. Something I can feel."

Zayn looked up and down the aisle.

"Like this?"

"Like what?"

Zayn came back over to him and pulled him by the hand over to a sample pad. He brought Harry's hand to the pattern so he could feel over it.

"Yeah. Like this. But what color is it?"

Zayn frowned in confusion. "Does it matter?"

Harry frowned in return. "Yes. It matters. You know, just because I can't see, it doesn't mean I can't have color preferences."

Zayn settled. "Sorry. You're right. I was just being a stereotyping asshole."

Harry cleared his throat but didn't agree or disagree so that he didn't hurt Zayn's feelings.

"Anyway, this is like a golden, brownish color. You like that?"

"Oh... Nope." Harry said. "I'm actually looking for pink."

Zayn was glad he couldn't see him because the look he gave him was way too obvious to go unnoticed. Of all the colors, he wanted pink? _Why?_

"Pink.... Um. I don't think Walmart has pink textured comforters. This is their only selection. If you want something like that, you may have to order it online or go to a place that has a wider selection of comforters."

Harry scratched his head. "Ordering online is not an option. I can't feel what I'm looking for through a screen and I wouldn't want Mindy to work her brain so hard by making her explain every single thing she sees. I might have to go to a place."

Zayn perked up. "And, I know where one is."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It's not far from where I work. I bought some pillows a few weeks ago from there. And they're textured. They have sewn on designs just like what you're looking for."

Harry bounced up and down happily. "Wow. I'd love to go there and see what they have."

"And I could take you there."

He stopped bouncing. "Really?"

"Yeah, I don't mind. I told my mum I'd make the house look more homey over time. So I'll be going there a few more times anyway. You can just come with me."

Harry nodded wildly. "Yes please. I would love to."

"Okay then. I guess I'll just figure out the next time I go and come pick you up. Or... Walk next door and get you."

Harry giggled. "Yeah."

They stood there in silence until Zayn interupted it. "So why a pink comforter?" He asked.

Harry chuckled bashfully. "Well... "

"Actually, you know what? If it's embarrassing, you don't have to tell me."

"It's not embarrassing. I promise. I chose pink because of something that happened when I was young. When I was a young teen."

"Really? That far back?"

"Hey, you say that like I'm old. I'm younger than you, you know."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. But I didn't mean it that way at all."

"Zayn, I was only messing with you. Don't take it so serious." He rubbed his hands on his pants as he recalled his memory. "Anyway, I was outside in my front yard when a group of other teens came up to me. Grandma had just gone in the house to make lunch and I usually go in when she goes in but I was enjoying outside. The weather was nice that day and it wasn't like I was wandering around and putting myself at the risk of getting lost. I was just sitting in the grass and enjoying the breeze.

"Then I heard a group of girls and boys come up to me and I guessed they were around my age. And apparently they lived in the neighborhood too. One of them told me he had seen me around and had a gift for me. But I knew he snatched it from one of the girls without their permission because I heard one of them tell him to give it back.

"He handed it to me and it was so fur-like, you know. It was really fun to touch. Plus there was some hard dangly thing hanging from it. I didn't want to give it back. But then one of the guys, pushed me down and called me a rude name. Long story short, the same girl who had her furry thing snatched, broke up with the guy who pushed me right then and there."

"What? Really?"

"Yep. It was so embarrassing hearing it happen but I can't say he didn't deserve it for what he did to me and to her. Turned out, the girl's name was Mindy and she let me keep her furry thing which, after she explained it to me, turned out to be just a key chain with a pink fur ball dangling from it. Ever since then, I've kept it. It means a lot to me that she broke up with her boyfriend because of that. Even if it probably was just because he had given me her key chain."

Zayn twisted his mouth sideways, looking sympathetically at him. "I'm sorry. It's messed up that those kids did that to you for their enjoyment. Taking advantage of you like that is wrong."

"It doesn't matter. Because I actually learned a lot from that encounter. One, even if your grandmother is looking out for you in all the right ways, it doesn't mean that everyone else is. Two, color has no gender and three, Mindy is a great friend."

"Yeah. Key chain or not, she still stuck by you. She's an amazing woman."

"Of course she is. That's why she's getting married. Liam, her boyfriend and now fiancé, proposed to her a couple weeks ago. I'm happy for her. I really am. I'm just nervous because I know he'll take up a lot of her attention now." He huffed. "And I fear that she won't come around as much anymore."

Zayn sighed, then reached out to rub his shoulder. "It's okay, Harry. I don't think she would ditch you just because she's getting married. Also, why don't you talk to her if that's the way you feel."

"I can't. I don't want to spoil her happiness by making her worry about me. I love Mindy. She means so much to me. I know that I have the option to pay someone to come back and help me if need be. So I don't feel like she is my only option. She's just my preferred option."

Zayn nodded. "Because you already know that you trust her."

"Exactly."

"So... Why don't you mind planning to do things with me? You know... The whole letting me take you to the furniture store kind of thing. How do you know you can trust me?"

Harry chuckled. "Because just by listening to you, it doesn't seem like you can even trust yourself. Somebody has to."

Zayn was thrown by his response. "What? How did you gather that from only having four extremely short conversations with me?"

"Because you apologize a lot. Even for things you shouldn't even be sorry for."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do."

"Oh. I didn't even realize that. Does that annoy you or something?"

"No. It doesn't annoy me. Not at all. I think it's... It's you."

A small smile played on Zayn's face. "Thanks Harry."

"You're welcome."

After that, Harry asked Zayn if he wanted to go look at the pillowcases. Zayn knew right away that that meant Harry wanted to shop with him. So despite knowing he'd need to go one aisle over from the one Mindy expected to find them at when she returned, he still agreed. This was his only chance to really befriend his neighbor and learn more about him while it wasn't considerd weird. He was determined to take advantage of it as long he could.

➡➡➡➡➡

"I'm telling you. I remember that like it happened yesterday." Louis was explaining. "Even though I didn't show it, it did make me angry. The only thing that kept me from retaliating is that I don't think Tony was aware that he actually looked pretty stupid to every one else with common sense. So of course that doesn't include his friends."

"Yeah, right." Zayn laughed. "That and you realized you were too weak to fight and couldn't safely throw a fist without getting your ass beat."

Louis gasped. "Me too weak? So were you. And you still are." He said with a bit of attitude.

Zayn chuckled but didn't take it personally. Tony was into all the school sports and workouts were apart of his everyday routine. But Zayn was never that muscular and firmly built guy so technically, Louis wasn't lying. "I wonder what happened to Tony."

"Last I heard, he was in prison serving eight months for a petty theft crime."

"Oh no. He got what he deserved, I guess."

"Yep."

Zayn put his elbows on the table and leaned forward across the table. "Those school years were the best with you, Louis. I don't know why I ever stopped keeping in touch with you."

"Because you're an idiot. It's quite simple actually."

"Ah," he said finding this the perfect opportunity to strike back. "At least it's nice to know your popularity level only moved up to zero today. Sure, you're still a nerd and you're still uncool. But on the bright side, no one will ever say fame changed you. Good job, buddy."

"Cute. However, even if did become famous one day, the only thing that could ever get me to consider changing the way I am is if you finally settled down. But based on our conversation today, the only girl who ever showed interest in you actually set you up, so..."

Zayn laughed out loud but quieted down when some people in the coffee shop looked over at him. "Wow. Were we always this mean to each other?"

"Yes."

"Outsiders would think we hate each other."

"That's the beauty of friendship."

"Yeah... Beautiful." He replied sarcastically and then he leaned on his elbows with his own cup in hand. "Louis. I just wanna say that...." He stumbled over his words, trying to get them out. He thought back to what Harry said in Walmart. Maybe he did apologize a lot. But he still knew this was something he surely should apologize for. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I should've been a real friend but I wasn't. I know we're different, but I should've embraced our differences instead of hating them and running away from them. I'm such a jerk for that."

"Well, that you are. Yes." He said with no hesitation and Zayn did crack a smile. "But I dont hold grudges and I'm not expecting you to make it up to me or anything. The fact that you offered to go for coffee with me says enough."

"Really?"

"Yes. But even if I'm not expecting anything from you, that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be able to drop by your new place every now and then."

"Oh, I can definitely do that." Zayn agreed. "But I'll wanna go visit your place too."

"Then we'll exchange addresses before we leave."

"Deal."

Louis smiled over into his cup and when his his glasses fogged up over it, he laughed softly but didn't say anything. It brought Zayn back to when they had evenings like this at fast food restaurants, when they would just relax in each other's company and let the silence meander around them. He couldn't deny that he missed being with Louis like this. And the truth was, he should've missed it a long time ago. He wished he had.


	5. Slight Hope

"Please, watch your step, Harry. Uh, I mean... Y—yeah... Watch your step." He helped Harry off the curb and over into the car.

"Wow. I see you're already learning."

"What?"

"You just stopped yourself before you could offend me. You're learning."

"Oh. Yeah." Zayn closed the door and then got in the car on the driver's side. "The day we saw each other in Walmart, I went home and thought about what you said. About how not being able to see colors doesn't mean you can't have color preferences. I guess adjusting my speech is just as discriminatory towards you as assuming you can't like colors because you're blind."

They put on their seatbelts at about the same time.

"You're right. It is. But you're the first person outside of Grandma and Mindy who's actually said what I've been thinking all these years. That's very considerate of you, Zayn. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He pulled off from the curve and started the drive.

"Do you know what the best part about speech is?"

"What?"

"You only need your ears and mouth to do it right and I still have both of those. Every single one of us learned the way the human language works by the way people spoke to us and communicated with us as we grew up. As for me, my grandma never held back. She never told me I couldn't do something and she never gave me limitations. That's why when people purposely avoid using words in my vocabulary simply because of my lack of sight, I'm offended. There is no designated speech for the blind. We just interpret certain words we hear a little differently."

"Right. Like when you tell me _"I see",_  I know that you mean you understand. Not that you literally can see."

"But I do see, Zayn."

"What?"

"I get that you don't know this but what I have is congenital blindness. That means I've been blind since birth and in turn, means I have no concept of what it means to see with my eyes. No matter how many times you try to explain it to me, it just won't work. Because the only way I know to see is with these." He held up his hands.

Zayn glanced out of the side of his eye. "Your hands."

"Yes."

He sighed and then nodded. Having Harry explain things like that made everything so much more clear. "I get what you're saying. I guess it's just as hard to grasp for me as it is for you to grasp the way I think."

"Yes, Mindy was the same way at first. It took her a while to truly understand the way I am and how to help me without smothering me."

Zayn gripped the steering wheel upon hearing that word. It concerned him and he had a feeling he might be doing that. "To be honest, it's so fascinating knowing a blind person. I think it's cool to learn little things about you and how you live. But I don't want to smother you either."

Harry poked at the fabric on his pants. "Mindy and I have been friends for about ten years. She's had me figured out for at least the past five so I would figure the requirement to know me as well as she does is five years. You have a long way to go. Do you really think you could ever befriend me for that long?"

He thought for a moment. "Sure. I once had a friend for four years of highschool if that counts for anything."

"Had? What happened?"

"He went off to college and we stopped hanging out and talking the way we used to."

"Just like that? So were you ever actually friends or did you just call yourselves that for fun?"

"Um..." He thought out loud. "Maybe not. Maybe we were just acquaintances. Though I can't lie. He really did consider me a friend to him and himself a friend to me. But I feel somewhat guilty because now that I think about it, for me, he might have just been someone else to share the ups and downs of highschool with."

"And where is he now?"

"Oh, he has graduated college and has been back home for a couple years now. As a matter of fact, I ran into him a couple weeks ago."

"The same way you ran into me?" Harry joked.

Zayn laughed. "No. He stayed on two feet. I promise. He just saw me coming out of the home decor store I bought the pillows from and stopped me. He works at the pet shop next to it. After talking for a few minutes, I invited him for coffee. And then a few days ago, we went to a small shop and chatted together. We had a really great time. I didn't realize I missed him as much as he missed me."

Harry hummed. "That sounds nice. Even better, I can hear you smiling."

Zayn glanced at him before turning the corner. He didn't need to confirm that Harry was right but he was. He sure was smiling.

They soon reached the parking lot of the home decor store and Zayn turned off the car's engine. "We're here."

"Great." Harry unbuckled his own seatbelt, felt for the door handle and let himself out. By the time Zayn got out of the car and came around, Harry was just standing there waiting for him.

Zayn felt for his hand and gently tugged it. "This way."

Harry followed him in a slow manner and when they reached the curb in front of the building, he found it heartwarming when Zayn told him to watch his step without hesitating this time.

"I'm sorry if holding my hand is making you uncomfortable. If it is, just tell me and next time I'll bring my guiding stick. I just don't like that thing because it can draw negative attention to me. I once heard a story about a blind man who got attacked downtown. Maybe I could fend off a mugger with my stick but I wouldn't be sure where to hit them if I couldn't see them anyway, right? So I just have this idea that getting mugged is less likely to happen when I have a person instead of a guiding stick with me."

Zayn shook his head with a smile. "No. It doesn't bother me at all."

"If I had a proper boyfriend, this would be less awkward for us. Because to others, it looks like we were holding hands just because we wanted to and not because we need to."

Upon hearing those words, Zayn tensed and hoped Harry couldn't feel it. He kept forgetting Harry was gay.

They walked inside the building and Harry barely frowned. "It smells like raisins in here."

Zayn looked at him funny. "What?"

"Smell the air. It smells just like raisins. That sweet smell."

Zayn sniffed the air and then all of a sudden... Harry was right. Why in the world did this store smell like raisins? And how did Harry smell it when the scent was so faint?

"Yeah, but I can barely smell it. It's not the first thing I notice when I walk in the door. So how did you?"

"I told you before. When you can't use your eyes, you make use of your other senses. In this case, in order to understand what's around me, I used my sense of smell. That's one way I gain familiarity with places. You know... In case you bring me back here again."

Zayn was glad Harry couldn't see him because he couldn't help but look at him in incredulity. He really hated to treat Harry as if he was a spectacle of some sort but what else was he to do? This man was amazing.

"So which aisle are the comforters on?"

Zayn slowly tore away from his thoughts. "Uhm... To the left. This way." He led Harry onward through the store until they reached a long aisle with comforters and bed accessories. "Here we are."

"Okay. Now can you find all the pink comforters for me and let me touch them? Textured, of course."

"Sure. Um... Well, let's start with the pink ones."

He went over to a huge sample pad that was bolted against the wall and guided Harry's hand to it so he can feel over the first one, much like he did in Walmart.

"Is this pink?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

"Well... It's silk. I don't like it all that much. I want something rough."

"Oh. Okay." Zayn found another pink textured one on the sample pad and moved Harry's hand to it.

"Ooh. This is nice. Though I can't really feel the pattern.

"Zigzags."

"They must be small then."

"Actually, it's quite the opposite. They're huge zigzags. But the sample is small so it just looks like lines."

"That makes sense. Show me another one."

"Okay... Um... Well, surprisingly, that's it for the pink ones they have in store."

Harry was confused. "Wait. That's it? I thought you said this place had a wider variety than Walmart."

"They do. I meant that was it for the pink textured comforters they have on the sample pad. This place only carries the color it's displayed in so that means that if it's also available in pink, instead of buying it today, you'd have to order it offline and wait for it to get here and then pick it up another day."

"Oh. I see what you mean. But that's okay. Where are the other samples?"

"Here. Touch this one."

Zayn put Harry's hand to a sample and he felt over it with three fingers.

"Circles." He said excitedly. "They must be small."

"They are. "Do you like it?"

"Does it come in pink?"

Zayn scanned the little small sheets of paper next to it, indicating the colors that particular comforter was available in. "Ehm... Fuchsia pink."

"What is that? Is that pretty?"

"Sure. But to me, Fuchsia is somewhere between hot pink and a really bright purple color. I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for."

"Oh. Then pass. Unless that's close to what I'm looking for. Mindy told me the color of my bedsheets is a baby pink and that getting a baby pink comforter would match best. Now, I trust her judgment and decision-making but I don't really understand the difference between all the pinks and I always tell her to stick to the basic color when talking to me. Hot pink... Fushia pink... Doesn't natter. Pink is all pink to me."

Zayn nodded. "Okay... Well, let's see." How do I describe it? Hot pink is automatically striking when you see it. It's bold. It's... sexy. At least that's what I think about when I see it."

"Sexy." Harry chuckled out. "Mindy has used that word many times. That's how she describes Liam when she's telling me about their date nights."

Zayn stumbled over his words. "O—okay. So there you go. On the other hand, baby pink is docile and tender-like. Much easier on the eyes compared to hot pink as far appeal goes but still cute. Most people associate the color with princesses and baby girls. But I don't want to be that stereotyping asshole again so you get the idea."

Harry smiled. "Ah, I do. And that's me."

"What is?"

"Baby pink. That's what I'm looking for."

Zayn lit up. "That's good. That narrows the search down for us. So let's only look for textured comforters that come in baby pink then."

"Yeah." Harry waited patiently until he felt Zayn take his hand again. "By the way," He said quietly. "The way you described the colors made so much sense to me. Thank you."

Zayn pat the pack of his hand carefully. "You're welcome."

They continued looking and feeling over the samples until they had finished. By then, Harry had found two that he really liked. Zayn wasn't sure how he didn't get bored and restless, waiting for Harry to choose something but he never did. This was actually quite fun for him.

"So Harry, ruched design or Diamond Chenille?"

"I don't know. I like the way my fingers get lost in the ruched comforter. But the Chenille is so soft and I love how easy it is to feel over the pattern. What do you think?"

"I think it's up to you."

"But your opinion matters to me. What do you think?"

He gave in. "Personally, I like the Chenille. And it looks cool in this green color. I bet it would look just as good in pink."

Harry reached out for Zayn's shoulder so he could use him to balance. "So Chenille it is. Now I just need all the information so I can go home an order it online. Can you write it down for me."

Zayn was hesitant as he pulled out his phone and opened it up to the note pad application. "Sure... and not to be rude but how do you suppose you'll order online? I thought you said doing that would be impossible for you."

He stopped leaning on Zayn so he could face him. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking of, don't be silly, Zayn. I'm obviously not going to do it by myself. I'll get Mindy to do it when she comes over."

"So you're going to wait until Saturday?"

"Yeah. I'm in no rush. Besides, Liam is coming over to cut my grass that day, so I'll be just fine."

Zayn typed in all the information he needed and saved it.

"Okay then. It's saved. Ready for me to lead you out?"

"Yep."

Zayn took hold of him again and just before leaving out, he sniffed the air once more. It still smelled like raisins and yes, he was still wondering how Harry noticed it. When they were back in the car, Zayn turned on the engine and let the air conditioner run.

"Before we start moving, I was just wondering if you want anything to eat before I take you home."

"Dinner?"

"Yes. Only if you don't mind me taking you to dinner of course."

"Well—"

"Or... Not taking you to dinner." He quickly said. "I shouldn't say it like that. I just mean go have a bite to eat together. Dinner. But as friends."

Harry was quiet for a moment. "Sure."

Zayn was good about containing his excitement but inside, he was clearly jumping for joy. Eating food together was always a good way to learn about someone. This was his way. "Okay. Where do you want to go?"

"Um... You're giving me the choice?"

"Yeah, is something wrong with that?"

"No it's not. It's just this is our first time really hanging out in a friends type of way. I didn't expect you to yield to me this soon. It's not because I'm blind, is it?"

"No. Not at all. I just thought it would be nice to give you the choice since you are my guest today. It's only common courtesy. So where do you want to eat?"

Harry put his seatbelt on and smiled. "Oh. Well, there's this restaurant called Village Grill that Mindy takes me to all the time. How about there?"

He shrugged. "Sounds good to me. Why not."

He knew that Harry wouldn't be able to tell him how to get there, so he quickly pulled up the directions on his phone and let the GPS create a route for him. Then he put the gear in drive and they were off.

*

*

As Zayn and Harry were being led to a table, Zayn noticed how the name Village Grill had fit the place so well. Or maybe it was that the place fit the name so well. Either way, the place and name went perfectly together because the inside of the restaurant had that small village feel. And it was clean, so that was especially a plus.

He helped Harry sit down when they reached their table and he sat down across from him. The hostess informed them their waiter would be there soon, so Zayn figured he might as well start up a conversation while they waited.

"It smells so good in here, doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does."

"For some reason, I don't remember this restaurant. How long has this place been here?"

"Mindy told me about three years. So not long."

"Ah. Well that explains why I haven't seen it before."

Harry twisted his head sideways. "I don't understand though. You're from this area, right?"

"Yes. I am."

But you don't know this place?"

"No. I wasn't always here. I was actually away at college."

"That's cool."

Zayn shook his head even though Harry couldn't see. "Not exactly. Some really disappointing things happened while I was there. So I just quit and came back home a few months ago."

"Oh." Harry said sadly.

"Harry Edward Styles and... What? No Mindy today?"

Zayn's attention was taken to see their waiter had arrived there. Besides his brunette hair, which was partially covered with a red Village Grill hat, Zayn noticed he had the bubliest, brightest personality he might have ever seen. He also seemed to be around Zayn's age. Zayn was already entertained by him and he also felt much more comfortable knowing Harry knew him.

"Hello, Vile." Harry said.

"Ha.... Ha." The man said. "I was just about to compliment you on finally getting a date again and this is how you treat me? By calling me out of my name?" He fake gasped at the same time Harry gasped for real.

"Um no. Please. Stop it. He's not my—"

"What's up bro? My name's Niall Horan or as this one likes to call me, Vile Horan."

Zayn laughed an bumped fists with him. "What's up? My name is Zayn."

"Damn. He's even got a smooth voice. I see what you did there, Harry."

"Niall, please stop it." Harry tried.

"So how'd you two meet?"

"Uhm... He's my next door neighbor." Zayn answered with some apprehension.

"Aw, that's cute. You can even go over there at night. Be honest, have you?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You have, haven't you?"

"What? No."

"He's not my boyfriend Niall." Harry finally said to keep it from going on any longer.

Niall paused. "Huh?"

"We're not dating. He's just a friend."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Niall's whole demeanor changed. "Aw man. I was happy for you for a split second." Then he looked at Zayn. "I'm sorry bro. I should've never assumed. Are we cool?"

Zayn nodded. He didn't fully understand why he wasn't embarrassed by what had just taken place but he felt that it was likely because he was so busy wondering if Harry was alright that he didn't have time to worry about himself. "Yes. We're cool."

"Good. So what can I get you two friends to drink?"

"Just water." Harry mumbled.

"And I saw a sign for peach tea on the way in. Let's go with that."

Niall wrote it down and stuffed the pad and pen in his half apron. "Alright. Harry, I know you'll be getting your usual but Zayn, I'll give you a moment to look over your menu, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Niall left the table and Harry leaned on his elbow.

"So how do you know Niall?" Zayn asked.

"He's Liam's obnoxious step brother."

"Are you two friends?"

"No. The only time I talk to him is when we come here. And that's because Mindy always makes me. But I think he plays too much."

Zayn laughed. "More like assumes too much."

"That too."

"Is he anything like Liam?"

"No he's not like Liam at all. Liam is quiet and reserved. Which is odd for a guy whose father owns this little restaurant and another one like it two cities over."

"Liam's father owns this restaurant?"

"Yes."

"So his father is actually Niall's step-father then."

"Right. Liam's father married Niall's mother."

"Makes sense."

"Well, you know... You can always come by on Saturday when Liam comes by to cut the yard. As a matter of fact, I would love for you to meet him. You'll love him."

Zayn was skeptical. "Um... I don't know."

"Yes. Please? And you don't have an excuse because all you have to do is walk next door. Unless you're intimidated about meeting him. You're not, are you?"

Zayn narrowed his eyes at him. He was well aware that Harry was purposely challenging him with that question. But he didn't want to make him think he was intimidated, either. "No, I'm not afraid to meet people. Of course I'll be there."

"Alright then." Harry grinned and sat up. He seemed to have forgotten all about getting embarrassed. "So Zayn. I can't help but to keep constantly thinking about the way you described the different color pinks to me earlier today."

"Really? Why?"

"Because you did it so simply. Up until now, colors never really meant anything to me. Yeah, I know the sky is blue and grass is green because that's what I was taught but that's it. And I usually just have preferences because I like the way they sound to me. But today, when you said what you said, you made me think that I'm missing out on something. That maybe just knowing what a general color is, is not enough."

Zayn slowly inhaled a breath. All this time, he had been trying to figure out a way to get close to Harry so he could learn about him. But while he thought all he would be doing was learning about Harry, he had managed to change the way Harry viewed colors? Really? "Uh.. well, uh— um—"

"It's okay Zayn. That's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. And quite frankly, I don't know why I never pushed Mindy to tell me more. As we grew up, she taught me how to do things Grandma didn't. I.e. things I couldn't see how to do. Like waving, nodding my head, giving high fives, shrugging my shoulders and folding my arms. She tried explaining eye rolling but I have no desire to do it and I'm not really sure if I'm even doing it right. Rolling your eyes just seems weird anyway."

Zayn smiled but kept quiet.

"But colors is the one thing I wish I understood better. And I hope I'm not coming off as weird or anything but... It would be so cool if you could teach me different colors the same way you taught me about pink. You sound like you're really good at it."

Zayn's draw dropped. _Wait. What?_  Harry was independent and as smart as anyone he had ever met. Maybe even more. Yet he was asking him to teach him something? Did he really think Zayn had something to offer him? If so, did he not just hear their conversation a few minutes ago? He couldn't even finish college. How was he supposed to teach a blind man colors?

"Harry, it's an honor that you asked. Really. But I'm shocked that you even think I could be good at it. I'm not that good."

"What do you mean? Yes you are. You really are. I think you're making it complicated but it's not. It's as simple as how you did it at first. You didn't even think twice when you explained it then. Why do you care so much now?"

"Because explaining something once is different but to expect it to continue..." Zayn huffed and looked away shamefully even if Harry couldn't see him. "I never finish things."

"What?"

"I never finish anything. Everything I've tried, I've failed at. I'm a disappointment. But I don't want to disappoint you."

"Zayn, you're not a disappointment to me."

"Because you don't know me."

Harry paused. That was true. He didn't know him fully. "But I would like to."

That produced a little smile from Zayn. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean... You wanna learn about me. I wanna learn about you. Obviously we're already hitting it off well. So... Why not?"

Zayn couldn't believe it. Harry believed in him and really wanted to get to know him for who he was. It didn't seem real at first but he knew Harry was blind. He'd had his share of being taken advantage of. There was no way he would ever do the same to Zayn. If he really was as honest-hearted as he appeared to be, why couldn't Zayn take a chance and go the extra mile for him?

Niall returned to the table. "Hears your peach tea and a straw."

"Thanks."

"And Harry, your water is in the same place I always put it. The straw is already in it so you don't have to bother with that."

"Thank you, Niall."

"You're welcome. Now have you decided what you wanted to eat yet, Zayn?"

He shrugged. "Whatever he's having, I guess."

"So two Greek salads with grilled chicken it is." He collected their menus and went off to put their meals in the computer.

Zayn sat up and looked at Harry. "Okay, I'll do it for you." He finally said.

"Do what?"

"I'll teach you colors the way you want me to. If you really think we have something to give each other, I'll try my best not to disappoint you."

Harry clasped his hands together and his face settled. "I don't believe you will Zayn. I think you'll do just fine."

He hummed but picked his straw up from the table with a slight smile. "Well... At least that makes one of us."


	6. Ready, Set, Go

"...But the closest they had to baby pink in Chenille was Aubrey Pink. And I didn't even know that color existed. But Zayn said it was still pretty so I went with that."

Mindy smiled. "Well, I think you two made the right decision. From the picture, that's going to go well with the rest of your room."

"Good. So how many days does it say I'll have to wait before it gets here?"

"Three to six business days. They'll give you a call so all you have to do is call me. I'll come pick you up and take you to get it."

"Um... Actually." Harry said. "I was wondering if Zayn would be able to take me."

Zayn, who had been sitting on Harry's living room couch and watching him and Mindy at the computer desk, froze. "Huh?"

"You know where the place is already. If you don't mind, you could take me there to pick it up when it's time."

Zayn nodded. "Oh yes. Absolutely." But he saw Mindy's face and how curious she was. "Unless that's not okay with Mindy. Then she could do it."

She chuckled. "No. He's right. You do know where the place is. You can take him if you want to."

He only nodded because he knew Harry couldn't see him. Harry didn't have to know how eager he was.

"Okay then. It's settled. So you two should just exchange numbers and that way, he can call you when he gets a call from the store."

"Alright."

Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a cellphone. As soon as he located the power button on the side and turned the screen on, a voice told him the time. Zayn was intrigued. He remembered finding out sometime back how there was a special voice feature available on touchscreen phones for the blind or those with impaired vision. But he never saw anyone using it before today.

"I'm a bit slow when typing."

"That's fine." Zayn said. "Take your time."

He waited for him to open up a new contact field and then gave him the digits to put in. It did take him a while to get it all typed in, but once he saved the contact, he put the phone back into his pocket and gave Zayn his own number.

"Okay then. I'll call you when it's here, Zayn."

"Sure. I'll be waiting."

The front door to Harry's home opened and in walked a brown haired man with a beard and eyes to match. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a rag and entered the living room. "All done, Harry. The yard is all spruced up."

"Thank you so much, Liam. How much should I pay you?"

Liam chuckled. "You ask me that every time and every time I have to remind you it's free. I'm doing a favor for a friend. Not work. Plus I had a whole winter off a couple cuts ago. I'm not complaining."

Harry sighed. "Well, let me at least get you some water. I know you're hot."

"Yes. Thanks. That would be great."

Harry got up and safely moved from the living room to the kitchen. Liam followed him, leaving Mindy alone with Zayn.

"So... Harry seems to have taken to you quite well." She pointed out.

"You think so?"

"Yeah. I do. He was so excited about you coming over today."

Zayn shoved his phone back in his pocket. He hated to come off as clueless but he couldn't help but be that because that was what he was. "Really?"

"Yep. And he hasn't stopped talking about your visit to the home decor store either. You really made his week."

Zayn didn't know what to say so he sat there blushing like a dork.

"And I hear he wants you to teach him colors. Now that is quite something." She said.

"Yeah." He giggled out, finally forming longer sentences. "He thinks I'm good at it. But I'm not. The only reason I want to give it a try is for him. Harry's a good guy and I like him. I hope this befriending thing continues."

She nodded. "I'm really glad you said that."

He let out a breath. "You are?"

She nodded.

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you'd be upset and think I was trying to steal him away from you or something."

She smiled. "No. Of course not. Harry can always use more friends. I think it's good for him because he doesn't get out as much anyway. But... That's not the only reason."

He could see the way her demeanor changed and he knew that he didn't like the possible reasons for that. "What do you mean, Mindy?"

"Uhm, you know I'm getting married don't you?"

"Yes. Congratulations by the way."

"Thank you." She got up from the chair at the desk and sat down next to him on the couch. "That restaurant that you and Harry went to, Village Grill."

"What about it?"

"Liam's father owns that place and another one like it two cities from here. His father is deciding to retire from the restaurant business so he's giving his restaurants to his sons. That's Liam, his biological son and Niall, which is his step son. You know, the one you met."

"Right."

"Niall will get the one right here in the city. But Liam is getting the one sixty miles from here. So that means in order to run it properly, Liam is going to have to move there. And since I'll be his wife then..."

"You're going to have to move there too."

"Right."

Zayn felt his stomach dip. Harry had been worried about Mindy ditching him and Zayn even told him she wouldn't do anything like that. Now that this had come up, how was he going to backtrack from that? "What about Harry? He depends on you for so much."

"I know, I know. And that's what's been eating at me. This isn't something that just came up. A week or so before Liam even proposed, I was asked by my job to take a higher paying position within the company but in that city. I've been striving for that job my whole life but wasn't sure if I should except it or not because Harry and Liam were both here. But after all this, it feels like fate, you know. Liam suddenly having to run a restaurant in the city where my dream job is waiting for me. I don't think I can refuse that."

Zayn looked at her with lips slightly parted. Those words all made him feel so disoriented. This was not what he came here for today. "And Harry?" He asked again.

"Liam and I are getting married in early October so that's about six months from now. I won't tell him until we get closer to that date. If I tell him now, he'll worry and that's a long time to worry." She put a hand on his forearm. "I hope I'm not asking for too much but I was hoping you and Harry could really get to know each other first before I break the news to him. That way, when I do tell him, he doesn't feel like I'm leaving him alone. He'll have someone to turn to. Someone close by."

Zayn sighed and looked down. Barely a few days apart and yet another person was asking him to do tasks that seemed impossible. Why? Why did wanting to be Harry's friend have to start off so difficult? "I don't know, Mindy."

"Oh, come on, Zayn. You're perfect. You live right next door to him. When I'm not here, he'll have you. I'm going to be sixty miles away from here and my schedule is going to change with the new job. There's no way I can travel here every Saturday. I can't."

"So you're leaving him completely?"

"No." She quickly said. "I'm still going to come by from time to time. Harry is my best friend and I could never leave him for good. It would just be very nice to have you here. He knows he can always hire someone in my place. But he prefers a friend. That friend can be you and if so, you have no idea what it would do for his peace of mind."

Zayn recalled Harry talking about a blind man being attacked by a mugger. If he openly feared things like that, there was no doubt he probably thought about what it would be like when he was forced to depend on a hired person he didn't trust yet. He felt bad. "Yeah. You're right. I guess I could help you out."

"Plus, it's not like you're doing something you don't want to do anyway." She reasoned. "I'm just informing you so that you know how to approach things from here."

"Right."

"So you agree?"

It took him a moment to say it. "Yeah. I agree."

She squealed quietly and then hugged him tightly from the side. "Thank you, Zayn. It means so much to me. You have no idea. I guess Harry was right. You just might be the most generous guy he's ever met."

She stood up from the couch and Zayn was frozen for sure now. Harry called him the most generous guy he had ever met? Well, that wasn't something he said to Zayn but obviously he mentioned that to her. He actually said that.

Liam and Harry came in just as Mindy was shutting Harry's computer down.

"I was told you came over to meet me." Liam said to Zayn and he sat down on the couch next to him. "My name is Liam Payne."

Zayn retreated out of his daze and shook Liam's hand. "Yeah, I'm Zayn. Zayn Malik."

"Nice to meet you. You already met Mindy Alton, there. She's my wife to be. She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Zayn hesitated. "Umm.. sure. Yes, she is."

Liam pat his back. "There is nothing to be nervous about. I'm not going to get mad if you say yes to that. By the way, I hear Harry calls you a friend and any friend of his is a friend of mine. When the wedding rolls around in October, you're welcome to attend."

Zayn turned his head sideways. "You're serious?"

"Of course." He took his hand from Zayn's back and rested his elbows on his knees. "We'd be glad to have you there. And Harry likes you. So there must be something good about you that he sees."

Zayn thought about Mindy's generosity comment. "Okay."

"Are you two staying for a while?" Harry asked from across the room.

"No. I wish I could but I need to get home and get a shower. I have to drop Mindy off at her place first.

"Oh. Well, that's okay. Maybe next time."

"Sure thing." He looked at Zayn. "So anyway. I'm glad you did come over here to meet me. It's an honor that you came here for that. Maybe we'll talk again sometime and really get to know each other."

"Yeah, definately."

Liam stood up and so did Mindy. Harry never sat down when he came in, so to keep from being the only one sitting, Zayn stood up as well.

"Always a pleasure doing things for you, Harry." Liam said and he went over to Harry for a hug.

"Thanks Liam."

Mindy touched Harry's shoulder gently before hugging him. "I'll be back next Saturday, of course."

"Alright. See you then."

She smiled lovingly and then looked at Zayn. "Bye Zayn. Good seeing you again."

By the look she had given him, he could see she wanted him to keep what she had told him a secret for now. So he nodded his head once as he bid his goodbye. "You too, Mindy. See you later."

Like he always did, Harry walked them to the door so he could lock it behind them. When he came back in, Zayn was still in the same spot.

"So you finally met Liam. What did you think?"

"Well, we didn't get to talk long but he seems cool and it was nice of him to invite me to his wedding, even if he doesn't know me that well."

"Liam is just like that. Always wanting everyone to be happy. If you ask for anything, he'll give it. And even if you don't ask, it's yours anyway."

That made Zayn so confused. Wouldn't a person like _that_ be considered the most generous person Harry had ever met? Even Liam refused to make Harry pay for a favor that left him tired, hot, sweaty and thirsty in the end. How could Zayn rival his history of generosity towards Harry when he and Harry just met? What was it that Harry could see in him and why couldn't he see it in himself?

"Are you up for staying?"

Zayn shrugged. "I have nowhere to be. I don't see why not?"

"Then I could tour you." He proposed.

"The house?"

"Yeah."

Zayn smiled. "Of course Harry. I would love that."

➡➡➡➡➡

"What's up, Safaa?"

"Nothing." She said after closing the front door behind Zayn. "I'm doing a bit of studying. But once I finish with that, I promise I'll come down and be with you guys."

"Sure. Where's mum?"

"Kitchen."

As Safaa made her way up the stairs again, Zayn went into the kitchen where he found Patricia at the sink and digging in a crate of vegetables.

"Hey mum."

He kissed her cheek and stood next to her.

"Welcome home, sweetheart."

That made him smile. He liked how she always referred to the house he grew up in as home, even if he didn't live there anymore. "So what are you doing?"

"I went to the farmer's market today and picked up some fresh vegetables. I hope you have an appetite for a side of asparagus this evening. They're in season and I just had to get them."

Zayn raised his brow. "Sure... Need any help?"

"Of course. Right now, I'm just rinsing them off under water. But you can break the stems, dry them in a towel and put them in that white bowl for me, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." After giving his hands a wash, he snatched a towel from a nearby drawer and waited for her to sit one of the spears onto it.

"So, how have things been going for you outside of your father's shop?"

He was slow about getting out an answer. "Do you remember Louis Tomlinson from school?"

"Oh yes. The boy with the glasses. You haven't spoken to him in so long. Is he okay?"

"He's fine. We ran into each other a few weeks ago and we went out for coffee a little over a week ago. I didn't realize I missed being around him."

She smiled. "That's good that you saw him again. Louis was a sweet young man. And he was really smart too, I have to say. You two hung out together so much in high school, I think he even rubbed off on you."

"Not a chance." Zayn laughed. Even if I wanted him to, he couldn't. His level of intelligence was only attainable for people who were not me. Or else, what happened at college would not have happened."

"Nonsense." She said, and she paused washing the vegetables to look at him. "Stop putting yourself down. What that sleazy girl did to you should not have a bearing on your view of your intelligence. You're a smart man and you always have been. Sure, you may choose not to brag about it in the most articulate way. But that doesn't mean you aren't. Remember that."

Zayn smiled slightly. "Sounds like something Harry would say, to be honest."

"And who is Harry?"

"My blind next door neighbor. Remember? I told you all about him when we had that housewarming dinner."

"Oh yes. Yes. I forgot his name. But... He says things like that to you?"

"Yes. It's so weird how he believes in someone he doesn't even know well."

She sat an asparagus spear on his towel and he picked it up and broke the stem before drying it with the towel and putting it in the bowl.

"Well... I think that's very nice of him. And perhaps some of him can rub off on you as well, so you can stop putting yourself down. How much time have you spent with him?"

"Not a lot. Just a few days when I got off from work and a couple of Saturdays."

"Ah. Well, that's nice."

"Yeah." She sat another spear on the towel and he repeated the process. "Did you know Harry has a favorite color?"

"Really?"

"Mhm. I was thrown off by that at first too. It didn't make any sense to me but he told me how being blind didn't mean he couldn't have a color preference. I never thought about it like that. But he's right."

She placed another in front of him. "And what's his favorite color?"

"Pink."

She stopped what she was doing to give him a questioning look. "What?"

"I know what you're thinking but..." He stopped himself from saying she was wrong because no, she was actually right. Harry was into guys. But that wasn't important for her to know now. Maybe in time. "Color has no gender. Color is just color. Especially to a blind man."

"Sure. You're right. But out of all the colors in the world, why did he choose that one?"

"It was something that happened when he was a teenager. It's probably something he wants kept between us so I don't want to tell it. Just know that his experience landed him a loyal friend who really cares about his well-being."

"Awh." She said. "That's sweet. He needs that."

"Yeah. He does."

Suddenly out of nowhere, Patricia gasped, indicating she had just gotten an idea. "You know what I should do? I should bake a cherry pie for you to take to him."

"What?"

"Yes. I should. You sound excited to have met him so why shouldn't I do that? Anybody who wants to be a real friend of yours deserves a homemade desert from me. Plus, he sounds like a sweetheart."

"Who does?"

Zayn looked back to see his father standing in the doorway.

"His friend, Harry."

"The blind boy?"

"Yes, you remembered?"

"I did."

"Ah, well, yes. Him." Zayn replied. "You know, he's not so bad. He's easily the most interesting person I've ever met."

Yaser and Patricia exchanged looks but those looks were different. Patricia was intrigued. Yaser was just stoic.

"That's great, honey. What have you two done so far to make you say that?"

"We just went shopping for bed sheets and stuff. And he let me tour his house. It's amazing how he gets around without knocking stuff over."

Yaser came all the way in and stood in the middle of the kitchen. He folded his arms. "Hmm. I suppose he could be good for you. It's a nice change from all those rowdy college days you had. Less scares."

Zayn looked away from him and cleared his throat. "Yeah..."

"Now, Yaser, don't you go bringing up stuff. He's here for dinner. Not a guilting game."

"That's not what I'm doing, dear."

"Yes you are. What's done is done. No need to bring it up. He's home now."

"I know that. I was only saying Harry might be good for him."

"But the reason you said it..."

Zayn couldn't take standing in the kitchen listening to them talk about him so he sighed. "Excuse me. I'm going out for a smoke."

His parents went quiet and watched him leave. Patricia shook her head and returned to rinsing off the vegetables when she heard the front door close.

"You love him so much but you can be hard on him, darling. I don't like it."

"Well, maybe that's the thing. Maybe that's what we were supposed to do before he went off to college and got himself into all that trouble."

"He can't help what Heidi did to him. How was he supposed to know? The boy just wants to be loved. He always has."

"I know that."

"So why do you have to be so tough on him? He already feels bad about everything that's happened."

"I'm tough because I want him to do better."

"Do better? Yaser, he's got a car, he's got his own house and a job. What more do you want?"

"I want him to finish something important in his life. Everything you named is all well and good and I'm proud of him for that. But he hasn't finished a single thing. I mean, wasn't he supposed to stop smoking a few months ago? But look at him."

She frowned. "That's not fair. You know the only reason he said that was because he..."

"Because he thought he was going to be a father?" He finished for her.

"Yes. That's exactly it. So what did you expect from him?"

He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Honey, all that I'm saying has nothing to do with me expecting anything from him. I'm tough on him because I love him and I want what's best for him. But he doesn't understand."

"And he'll never understand as long as you're breathing down his neck every second about it. He needs his space. Maybe smoking those cigarettes is his way of demanding that because he knows we'll leave him alone just to keep from inhaling that poisonous smoke."

As soon as she said that, Yaser went silent. That was a thought he had never considered and even more so, she might be right. All he had to do was look at what happened after Zayn came back home from college. He wasn't here long before he quickly got his own place away from them. Perhaps that wasn't about independence after all. Maybe he did just want to be away from them.

Upon coming to that realization, he dropped his hands from her shoulders and nodded slightly. "Yeah. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. I should just let it go and let him figure it out on his own."

"Mhm." She smiled. "And I know that he will. Just give it time. He's still young and learning."

Yaser pat her back and placed his hands on the counter next to the towel Zayn had been using earlier. "The sleep we lose over loving our children as hard as we do." He mumbled sadly.

She kissed his cheek and then continued with the artichokes. "The facts of life, dear. We're only doing what our parents did for us."

He nodded in agreement. But he could only wonder if any parent could love a son as much as he loved Zayn.

 


	7. Red

"It looks beautiful, Harry. Aubrey pink really does match the sheets in the best way."

"Thank you. But it's because of you. I probably wouldn't have chosen this if you weren't there with me."

Zayn tried his best to be modest. "Nope... All you. And I know Mindy is going to be very delighted when she comes here on Saturday."

"Yeah, she will." Harry felt his way to the door. "So now that we've made my bed, are we going to get to learning colors now?"

"Sure. Let's do it."

Zayn turned out the light in the room and they went down the hallway to the living room and where they sat down on the couch. Once he loaded up a website on his phone, he scanned over the page. "I'm looking at the way this is set up and I think we should do this in the order it appears on the website. One color a day, maybe?"

Harry pulled his sock covered feet up on the couch. "How many total colors are there?"

"In the world, there are millions of colors. But for this site, they listed the general ones. Let's see. There are..." Zayn counted out loud so that Harry would know that was what he was doing. "Twenty six colors." He finally said.

"Twenty six? That's an even number. How about we do two, then?"

"Two a day?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged his shoulders in agreement. "Sure. Two a day sounds fair. You're ready?"

He nodded. "Yep."

Zayn looked down at the phone and focused on the words on the screen. "Our first color of the day is red. It says 'red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love. Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very high visibility, which is why stop signs—"

"Zayn."

He looked up. "Hm?"

"You're reading."

"Yeah. This is what's on the page under the color red."

He smiled but shook his head. "No."

"No, what?"

"I don't want you to read to me. I want you to teach me in a way that I understand. I'm not saying don't look at the phone because you probably do need that. But I am saying you should tell me the things that apply to me. I hardly doubt the color red can make my blood pressure rise when I can't even see it."

When he said that, Zayn laughed and he pulled his own sock covered feet on the couch. "Okay, true. I wasn't even thinking about that. Alright. Let's see what I can take from this. Um... Red is described as emotionally intense here. Red is energy, it's strength, it's power, fire, war and it's danger. I also see this website doesn't say anger. But it definitely can represent that too. In the cartoons, the characters' faces turn red when they're angry. Sometimes in real life too."

Harry chuckled. "Wow. Sounds like the color red has a lot of aggressive meanings."

"Aggressive. But not all bad. For example, passion, desire and love can also be associated with it. Those are good. It can also cause erotic feelings, you know like... feelings related to sex. Sometimes guys find girls in red dresses, nail polish or lipstick a turn on and sometimes boys in red ties or red shirts have the same effect on girls. Especially scarlett red. There's just something about it."

Harry pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. "Don't boys also find boys in red shirts and ties a turn on?"

Zayn's mouth parted as he tried to fish for the right words without offending Harry or giving him the wrong idea. "I'm sure they do. I don't know any, personally. But I'm one hundred percent sure that happens somewhere."

Harry seemed to be thinking now. "You know what's interesting about the color meanings for red?"

"What?"

"Love. It's amazing how something so soft is also classified as strong."

Zayn sat the phone down in his lap. "Why do you assume the love it's referring to is strong? Why can't it just be love, period?"

"Because it's there with all those other aggressive qualities. And love can mean you'd give your life for someone. At least that's what Grandma once told me. It's got to be strong if you're willing to do that."

Zayn was mildly entertained by that. "Wait. Who's teaching who?" He joked.

Harry giggled. "You're teaching me. But you can't lie, that gets you thinking."

Zayn nodded. "It does."

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

Zayn scoffed. "Of course. My mum, my dad and my sister."

"I don't mean your family. I mean a special someone. Someone you had to grow to love. Not someone you're supposed to love."

"Oh..." His voice lowered. "Well... I— I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry."

Harry wasn't bothered by that at all. "Don't be sorry. We don't have to talk about that if you don't want to. But I don't mind talking about myself."

Zayn was relieved. He knew Harry was patient and kind, but that type of consideration meant so much to him. "Yeah. I would much rather do that."

"Okay." He sat back and leaned against the arm rest of the couch. "I was never in love with anyone but I did date."

That intrigued him. "You did? Who did you date?"

"A guy named Mitchell. We only dated for four months when I was twenty one. He was ten years older but he was always so sweet to me. Despite not seeing him as often as I could have, I really wanted him to be that person to stick by me, you know. But I could never love him. No matter how far we went with each other, I just couldn't feel the way I knew he was starting to feel about me. I guess you could say I wasn't red for him." He said.

Zayn grinned. That was a nice use of the word. But still, he wondered what happened. "So what happened to your relationship?"

"I broke it off with him and we went our separate ways. But in the end it worked out. He's happily married to someone closer to his age now."

Zayn shrugged. "Well, at least you got to be the one to break it off with him. You had complete control over how things went. Must be nice."

"I wouldn't call it nice." He countered. "Even if he was so much older, I still regret it till this day. Mitchell really wanted to take care of me. I regret not wanting to love him and then breaking his heart because of it. He was my first and only boyfriend but I do think it might be better to be the dumped than the dumpee in a situation like that. Because being the dumpee forces you to think about how you actually lost a good thing."

Zayn pondered that thought for a second and the more he did, the more he realized Harry was right. Boy, for a guy who wanted Zayn to teach him something so amazing and complex as colors, he sure appeared to be omniscient to the world around him and all of its predicaments.

"Well, I don't suppose you're interested in discussing light red then."

"Why not?"

"Because it represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity and... love."

He gasped excitedly. "Wait! That's what I was talking about. Bright red is the strong version of love. But light red is the soft version of love. The sweet kind. Doesn't that make sense to you?"

"Yeah. I would imagine that the sweet kind of love as the kind that motivates someone to purchase a bouquet of roses for their partner on Valentine's day. Or plan a romantic dinner. Or propose to them. Or make love to them."

Harry laughed. "I agree. And those are the type of things that match sexuality and sensitivity. All of those things require putting it out there and taking the leap. Being who you are and not caring about what people think of you. Even if only being attracted to boys gets you called every offensive word in the dictionary by a passerby."

Zayn looked sympathetically at him but also couldn't stifle his curiosity. "How did that become a thing for you, though? Because it not like it's guys looks that attract you to them."

He crossed his legs now and smiled. "Mindy. When all you have is a friend who is a girl and all she talks about in her teenage years are boys and how cute, kind and sweet they are, you start to love them just as much in that same manner."

"Really? Now that's something I have never heard of before."

"Consider yourself lucky, then."

"Oh I will. But you won't be lucky until you name me five things that represent red."

Harry poked his cheek with his finger as he was thinking. "Strength, power, energy, passion, and love. Strong and gentle love."

Zayn smiled. "Good job Harry. We're finished."

He got up off the couch. "Not so fast. I've shared something about me with you. But we're not finished until I learn something about you too."

"Like what?"

"Well, you did say red also meant determination. So what's your biggest determination right now?"

He stood up too and almost answered. But he stopped in his tracks because _what was_  he determined to do? What kind of goals did he have? Did he even have any? "I don't know." He finally said and it came out so distant. So lost in its uncertainty.

"You don't have goals?"

"No. Not really."

"Have you ever?"  
  
"Yeah. I did. But they all got crushed a few months ago."

"Every single one?"

"Yep."

"At one time?"

"Uh huh."

He put his hands on his hips. "So you don't have enough goals then."

Zayn was taken back by that statement and Harry's dramatic leave out of the living room left him wanting to know more about why he thought he could just say something like that to him. So he followed him.

"What do you mean by that? What's considered enough to you?"

"When there's still something left to strive for even after something disappointing happened to you. Whatever it was that happened to you, if you had had more goals, most likely all of them would not have been crushed at the same time."

Okay. That made sense. "And you? What are your goals?"

Harry turned in his room and Zayn just leaned against the door frame at the entrance. He knew this was Harry's private place so he didn't want to make a habit of walking in his room. Helping him make his bed was one thing but coming in here just to come in here was another. But he did turn the light on so he could see him.

"My goals are to get out and go places, learn new things. I want to learn Spanish too. But I'm a procrastinator."

Zayn smiled even though he was confused. "Why do you want to learn Spanish?"

"Just because it can give my mind something to help it stay sharp and busy. There doesn't have to be an elaborate reason."

He nodded. "True. Your reason works just fine, then."

He felt around his dresser for something. "Yep. And you know, Zayn. Just because something disappointing happened to you, it doesn't mean that you have to give up your goals. Maybe they weren't crushed. Maybe they were just put on hold for the moment. You never know what could happen to you later in life. Don't give up on them."

He folded his arms. "Yeah, you're right. I could still try to stop smoking. But looking for love... I don't know."

"I think those are both great goals. They're lovely. So find what you feel is most easiest to accomplish and start there."

"Smoking, by far."

Harry stopped what he was doing. "Huh? You think quitting smoking is easier than falling in love _by far?"_

"It is.

"But Zayn— well, I'm not one to talk after what I told you about me and Mitchell— but so I've heard, falling in love is a lot easier than learning to quit smoking. Smoking is an addiction so quitting is hard. But love is... it's natural."

"It is." He readily agreed. "And that's the problem. Its naturalness makes it too easy. It's so easy, it's dangerous."

"Well, love and danger. Those things were both under red, were they not?"

Zayn nodded once. "They were."

"So that's what love can be at times. From the way people talk about it, falling in it must be scary in the beginning. But I bet once you're in it, bliss takes over and you forget how dangerous it can be. If that's really a goal of yours and you're not just saying it, then I think you should take the leap. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, that is."

Zayn stood up straight and put his hands behind his back. "Sure, Harry. I'll see."

Finally after feeling around for a while, he found what he was looking for. He walked over to the direction he heard Zayn's voice and felt for him. He ended up touching his stomach and Zayn giggled before telling him "yes, I'm right here."

Harry held out a little notepad and a pen to him.

"I don't write mine down. I type them in a note pad on my phone so it can read them to me. But I heard it helps if you write down your goals."

Zayn took his hands from behind his back and took the items from him. "Wait. You want me to write them down on your stuff?"

"That pen and pad came with a little crafts kit I got for my birthday a couple months ago. I don't use it, so it's yours now."

Zayn swallowed the lump in his throat. "Thanks."

"Now go on. Write your goals down."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Or you might forget later."

He opened the pad and then clicked the top of the pen so that the nib was exposed. "Alright. So I'll write _'I want to stop smoking'_  then."

Harry quickly reached out to stop him and ended up touching his chest. "No, no, no."

"What?"

"Don't ever say 'I want to'. That's a given because that's why it's a goal in the first place."

"So what am I supposed to say then?"

"Say _'I will'."_

Zayn stopped and looked at him. He could see his reflection in Harry's sunglasses and he looked just as disconcerted on the outside as he was inside. "O— Okay." He stumbled out. "I will stop smoking." After jotting that down, he sighed. "There."

"You're not done."

"I'm not?"

"You named two goals. You should write that one down too."

Zayn stilled. "Uh... Right..."

After a few seconds, Harry folded his arms. "I don't hear a pen on any paper."

He groaned. "Okay. Fine." He put the pen to the paper and begrudgingly wrote down the seven words. "I will fall in love with someone."

"Good." Harry clasped his hands. "Now excuse me."

Zayn backed out of the way and let him move past. As Harry walked down the hallway, he read everything he wrote down in an undertone. "I will stop smoking. I will fall in love with someone." That last one got him thinking, so he repeated it to himself. "I will fall in love with someone. _I will_  fall in love with someone. I will..."

But with who? Who was going to want to get to know him for him? And was he supposed to wait for them or go in search of them himself? He turned out the light in the room and slowly made his way down the hallway, thinking intently on that. He guessed in order to find out, he'd have to do exactly what Harry said to do. Take the leap. That is, whenever the first opportunity finally presented itself.

 

 


	8. Clever Egghead

The first time Zayn ever moved out, it was to go away to college. So when he was preparing to live on his own, there were some things he didn't need to worry about buying. For example, a lawnmower. When he was staying at his tiny one bedroom apartment, the landlord hired landscapers to cut the grass on the regular. So he never had to worry about that. Now that he was on his own, his grass was _his_  responsibility.

In order to take care of that responsibility and get his grass cut before it grew into a jungle and swallowed his home, Zayn had to borrow his father's lawn mower. On the bright side, Yaser's mower was a riding mower. So he didn't need to push by hand the way that Liam did when he cut Harry's yard last week. So he just happened to be riding that mower, when a small navy blue car pulled up in his driveway. He recognized the visitor right away and turned off the motor. Out stepped a man in glasses.

"Hey, Louis!"

"Hey!" He said excitedly and he made his way across the grass. "I see you have a trailer in the driveway."

"It's my dad's trailer." He said. "I borrowed his lawnmower so I can cut, ya know."

Louis finally walked up to him. "Yeah. I see. The yard looks good."

"Thanks but I'm only ¾ of the way finished. The front door is unlocked. So if you wanna go inside and chill, go ahead."

He put his hands in his pockets. "Sure. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Also, if you're thirsty, help yourself to whatever you find in the refrigerator."

He nodded. "Okay."

Louis walked off across the grass to get to the pathway and Zayn started the lawnmower again. As he cut, he was trying his best to register this. Louis was at his house. The last time Louis came to his house was at least four years ago. It felt kind of weird actually having him here after so long.

He finished mowing the yard as fast as he could, then parked the lawnmower on the side of the house. He had a ramp that he was supposed to use when he was ready to put it back up on the trailer, but he opted to wait and just do that tomorrow when he woke up.

When he came in the house, he found Louis sitting up on his living room couch.

"What's up Louis?"

"I just noticed these are the pillows you bought at the home decor store next to my job."

"Yeah. How did you know that?"

"I saw them in your bag when I hugged you that day."

"Oh. Good eye, Lou."

"So anyway, I know you weren't expecting me to show up here today."

He chuckled and held his hands out. "Of course not. But I'm excited to have you here. Feels like old times. What did you want?"

"Do you work in your dad's shop on Saturdays?"

He shrugged. "It depends. Although definately not every Saturday."

"Well do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"Let's hang out tonight, then."

Zayn frowned. "Hang out? Why?"

"So we can meet people. Sitting here by myself for twenty minutes only tells me how lonely it must be to live here. I mean I knew you didn't have your game systems and stuff anymore but I still didn't expect this level of boring. You should find you a girl to take up an evening of your time."

"I'm not lonely here. I'm just fine by myself. Plus I have a TV I can watch. Once I save up enough money, then I'll buy all the stuff I had before. But right now, I'm busy."

"Busy being boring? And you make fun of me having no friends?"

"Why do you care though? You don't even like girls."

He gasped. "I do too like girls! Just because I'm socially inept when it comes to them, it doesn't mean I don't like them. It just means I don't care to have a date right now."

"And neither do I."

"Who said anything about dating though? I said find you a girl to take up an evening of your time. One evening doesn't automatically imply dating."

Zayn let silence take over for a moment. "Well, yeah. That's true."

"So we should do that. I can get my nighttime loner on. And you can get your game on."

"Nighttime loner?"

"Yeah. Obviously I'm not going there to talk to any girls."

"No, I think you meant full time loner. Loner is not only applicable at nighttime when it comes to you."

Louis stood up from the couch. "Says the one who lives in this house. Let's go, man. But first, you need a quick shower and clothes with less grass stains. You're trying to attract a girl. Not repel all of them."

Zayn smiled and got up from the couch. "Alright, alright. Give me thirty minutes."

"Starting now."

He scrambled out of the living room and quickly went to the bathroom for a shower. As he let the water run over him, he tried planning the night. Get there. Find someone to talk to. Go home. His only plans. That will be his evening.

He was done and dressed very quickly and they were ready to go. They decided to go in separate cars so that they could each leave for home from there. And it was much easier to make that decision because neither of them had plans to get drunk. Zayn had his fill of that when he was in college and Louis... Well Louis never ever got drunk. So that was never a worry of his.

Besides not getting drunk, Louis didn't know much about night clubs other than the fact that going once made him really uncomfortable. So Zayn, although not opposed to it, agreed that going to a bar would be much better. At least if he ended up not finding a girl to spend his evening with, he'd still get a good meal out if it.

Much to his surprise, though it shouldn't have been at all, they ended up going to a bar they went to a few years back. Only then when they went, they weren't old enough to drink and they were accompanied by a couple older friends. It was still the same. The same shabby place with a strong onion smell that smacked the customers right in the face the second they opened the door. Even now, Zayn still wasn't sure if that was the onion from the kitchen or musk from the bodies that were packed into the small area like sardines.

With Louis following closely behind, they made their way to the bar and took a seat. The bartender came over and immediately asked Louis for an ID. Zayn thought he might need to show an ID as well, but as opposed to Louis and his clean-shaven face, his beard was a giveaway. And it was a good thing because he certainly didn't feel like retrieving his wallet from his pocket right now. For once, his beard worked in his favor.

As for their choice of alcohol, they went with beers. Zayn felt much like a child too, when he ordered chicken fingers with cheese fries. But his taste buds and stomach deemed him mature for his choice. It was just what his palate needed.

"It's so weird how nothing about this place has changed since the last time we came." Louis said. "They're due for a remodel."

"Yeah. And you know what's worse?"

"What?"

"I can't smell the onions anymore."

He turned his nose up but laughed. "That's awful."

"Yeah. Very." Zayn used a fork to pick up a cheese fry and popped it in his mouth. "But cheese fries make it better."

Just as he said that, there was a young girl that stood next to him at the bar. _And her. She can make it better too._

"One Pineapple Cosmopolitan, please."

"You're with Tasha's group, right?" The bartender asked.

"Yes."

When she turned to face Zayn, he could see it in her face that something was wrong. She just didn't look that engaged. "That's a nice fruity drink you ordered."

She smiled and his conversation starter lit her brown eyes right up. She ran her fingers through her thick, dark, long and curly hair. "Yeah. Something different."

Her accent immediately struck him as different and it was then, that he realized she was a Latina. And a beautiful one at that. "I'd say it was a good choice but I don't really know. I've never had a Pineapple Cosmopolitan before."

She chuckled. "It is. I got drunk on my birthday last year and it was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I didn't intend to but my friends all said I'd enjoy myself. But all I did was spend the entire night puking and then woke up with a terrible hangover that caused me to miss work. I've learned my lesson and I'm not getting drunk this go round. So a sweet cocktail with just enough alcohol is enough for me."

He smiled sweetly. "It's your birthday?"

"Yep."

How old did you turn... If you don't mind me asking."

"I'm twenty two now."

"Ah cool. I'm only twenty four but the beard, you know."

"Yeah."

When the conversation went silent, Zayn felt Louis elbow him in the rib cage. "Ow! Uh um... So... what are you doing after this? After you celebrate here, I mean."

"I wanted to go to the Ice Cream Parlor. I just hope they're not too drunk or else, we'll be going home. And that's what it looks like is happening anyway. They keep ordering shots."

Zayn frowned. "But it's your birthday."

"I know."

"So you should get to do what _you_  want to do. They shouldn't get to have more fun than you."

"Well..." She said guiltily. "I kind of told them that this was what I wanted to do. So they're just doing what I said. I didn't come up with the ice cream thing till just now."

"So if you didn't drive and they're all getting drunk, who's driving them home?"

"Tasha isn't getting drunk. Just the other three."

"And Tasha's driving?"

"No. Senona is. But Tasha will just snatch the keys, take everybody home and then make Senona stay with her for the night."

He chuckled. "Good. But it sounds like it's a hassle. Seems like spending time with your friends only keeps you busy as anything else."

"It does."

"Well, do you really want that ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"Then Louis and I could take you."

She gave him a look that meant she was both amused and apprehensive. "You would do that?"

"Of course. That way you can do something you really want to do on your birthday. Lou and I haven't had dessert yet, so we'd love to take there and drop you off at home. If you don't mind, that is."

He chuckled. "Good. But it sounds like it's a  hassle. Seems like spending time with your friends is complicated and only keeps you as busy as anything else."

"It does."

"Well, do you really want that ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"Then Louis and I could take you." He said as he pointed back and forth between Louis and himself.

She gave him a look that meant she was both amused and apprehensive. "You would do that?"

"Of course. That way you can do something you really want to do on your birthday. Lou and I haven't had dessert yet, so we'd love to take you there and drop you off at home. If you don't mind, that is."

"Actually, I have somewhere to be." Louis said."

"What?"

"Yeah. I can't stay. But you two could go. Have fun."

Zayn narrowed his eyes and leaned toward Louis so he could whisper to him without the girl hearing him. "You're seriously going to leave me alone with a girl that I don't really know to go to an ice cream parlor at night?"

"Yeah, you're the one who offered to take her. Not me."

"Because I thought we were going to do this together. I didn't think you were going to ditch me."

"Wait... You really think that I'm going to follow you on a date with a girl?"

"This is not a date. This is just me finding a girl to spend the evening with just like you said to. I told you I'm not interested in dating yet."

"Okay fine. But that aside, it's still too late. If you back out now, it'll look suspicious. Not to mention, even if I did go, being alone with two guys would probably make her more uncomfortable, and that's not what we're trying to do here. So just go with it and shut up."

"Your Pineapple Cosmopolitan, ma'am."

Zayn quickly faced the girl before she had a chance to walk away. "Alright, so Louis isn't coming with us so it'll just be me and you. Do you mind that?"

"Well, not really. You seem like a nice guy but I don't know your name and you don't know mine so I don't think it's appropriate to go anywhere with you until we at least do that."

Zayn face palmed. "Oh, right. I'm so sorry. My name is Zayn Malik. Yours?"

"Maitea Juarez."

"Oh. That's pretty."

"Thanks." She sipped from the cocktail glass.

"You're welcome. I'm not going to rush you to finish drinking that because obviously I have to finish eating, myself. But you should enjoy that with your friends. I just think that before we leave, it would be best to tell Tasha what you're doing so she knows someone else is taking you home. Point me out if it makes you both more comfortable."

That made her smile. Of course it made her more comfortable. Because even though she could already tell he was genuine, with him willing to be seen, she didn't feel threatened to leave with him even if his friend wasn't coming with them. "Okay." She said. "And by the way, thanks, Zayn."

"You're welcome."

When she walked away, Zayn smiled at Louis. "I'm going to kill you the next time I see you alone."

"No you won't. Do you know how many times you said that in highschool?"

"Too many."

"Exactly."

Zayn laughed with him before eating more of his cheese fries.

It wasn't long before they finished eating and paid for their meals. They had to wait for Maitea to finish her drink but she soon came to join them and after saying their goodbyes, they left the bar and headed in different directions.

At the ice cream parlor, Zayn learned a little bit about Maitea and what school she went to. She grew up here just like Zayn did but she went to a different highschool. He learned that she had a ten year old brother and nineteen year old sister. She also told him about how she was going to the same community college as his sister and that she even knew Safaa. He had always said it was a small world but that just made him even more sure now.

Maitea was a sweet girl and Zayn enjoyed her company. But when they were finished eating their ice cream, it was time to take her home. So as much as he wanted to sit there and learn more about her, he couldn't. As it turned out, Maitea didn't live far from the ice cream parlor at all. So he didn't have that long of a drive. He was thankful for that since he was getting sleepy after a full day of work, yard upkeeping and entertaining friends. But it surprised him when she offered to exchange numbers.

At first, he was taken back by that. Because the conversation they had when they were at the restaurant was all friendly. He never got the vibe that there was something more. He wanted to say no. But Maitea was so kind and there was the high possibility that she only wanted to be friends. So he gave it to her and then wished her a good night.

When he got home that night, he texted Louis and let him know he made it home, then changed into his pajamas. When he climbed into bed and got underneath the covers, he felt a satisfying warmth travel through his body. Sure, he did end up having a great time tonight. But he would have loved to enjoy this sooner.

Tomorrow's duties came across his mind and he exhaled. He had a full day ahead. He'd better get some sleep. He was going to need it if he expected to give Harry a good lesson on two more colors.

 


	9. Friendly Progression

"You know what?"

"What?"

Zayn plopped down on the couch next to Harry with a dithered look on his face. "I did some reading. And by that, I mean I finally read the whole page of colors on the website that we're going over."

"That's good... I guess."

"Yeah. It is good. Because I thought something was left out but it actually wasn't."

Harry tilted his head sideways. "I don't understand."

"Anger is a characteristic of red and I thought it was left out. But it wasn't. It lists it under dark red. And dark red is one of the colors I'm supposed to teach you today."

Harry smiled. "Ah, so it pays to read, doesn't it?"

He huffed. "Yeah, but I feel like a fool though."

"Why?"

"I should have read over the entire thing before today. But then again, I've always had a bad habit of not carefully looking into a situation before I jump into it."

Harry felt for Zayn's shoulder and pat it. "It's okay. Stop beating yourself up about it. All that matters is that you know now and we can move forward."

"I don't want to confuse you though. I want to do it right."

"You haven't confused me and you are doing it right. You're teaching me colors and helping me learn things I never knew before. That's enough for me. Now go on and continue teaching me what you came here to teach me. Dark means anger and what else?"

He took his hand off of Zayn's shoulder and pressed his elbow into his thigh so he could lean on his hand. Zayn struggled to follow directions.

"Um... Well.... Let's see... Dark red represents anger, vigor, rage, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath. If you were wondering, that would be colors like Velvet, Currant and Licorice."

"Hmm. I can't believe it. Red is such an evil color. I can't understand how people find that a turn on."

"Ironic that you say that because many religions paint the devil and other religious figures similar to the devil as red because of how evil they are. And the way those figures are described in comparison to the attributes of the color red, it suits them well. But aside from that, red is still an amazing color. You know why?"

"Why?"

"For starters, business wise, food companies love to use it to promote their companies because the color red can make people hungry and get them to buy from them."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just by looking at it, it stimulates the brain to signal to us we need food even if we don't. We also tend to associate it with heat. So we think about fire and warmth which means red can manipulate your brain into feeling warm even in the winter. Also, red protects us daily. That's why stop signs are red and why traffic lights are red. Because they give us a warning to danger. We talked about love a great deal last time and that was a good thing too. And also your favorite fruits and vegetables can be red. Like cherries, strawberries, tomatoes, raspberries and red peppers. Watermelon fits in that category too, but sometimes they can be pink on the inside."

Harry rubbed his stomach. "Mmm. Did you come here to make me hungry or teach me colors?"

Zayn laughed. "Teach you, obviously. But as intimidating as red sounds, I don't want you to be wary of it because of a few negative qualities. It's a wonderful color when used in the right way and for the right things. Plus, red roses are something to behold."

After thinking on the words that Zayn spoke, Harry sat back with a satisfying smile. "And that is exactly why I believe in you." He said.

Zayn was confused. "Because roses are something to behold?"

"No, because of everything you just said to me." He adjusted himself so he could somewhat face him. "You're not a fool, Zayn. You should never call yourself that. You're an amazing human being with so much potential. Don't sell yourself short just because you made a few mistakes. It's not fair to you or the people around you who really believe in you. Okay?"

Zayn let his shoulders fall as he watched him carefully. Every time Harry said upbuilding things to him, he was left searching for words. Harry didn't know him that well, so he wasn't aware of the things that had gone wrong with him. But somehow, no matter what they were doing, he always found the smallest thing that did go right and reminded Zayn that no matter what, whatever he had to offer always deserved greater attention than any mistake he could ever make. As cheesy as it sounded, it was the flat out truth. And hearing him say that made Zayn feel special to Harry.

"You know what? I think you should meet my family."

He lowered his voice as he said that because he thought Harry would be apprehensive about it. But actually, he was very delighted.

"You do? I would love to meet your family. Are they next door or something?"

"No. But I'm going to see them today. I cut my grass yesterday but I had to borrow my dad's lawn mower and trailer. I'm going to return it today. You could just come with me. It's not like I have to go out of my way or anything because you live next door. We'll just come home together."

For some odd reason, Harry felt hot in the face. He'd only met the parents of a few people in his lifetime. Mindy, Liam and then Mitchell, his ex boyfriend. Meeting parents was a big deal in this day and age. Although he figured that for he and Zayn, it wasn't quite the same as it was with he and Mitchell.

"Okay. Yes. Let's do it."

"After we discuss the color pink, though."

"Pink? Didn't we already talk about that in the home decor store?"

"Yeah. But there's more to it than that."

Harry stood up and reached down and felt around for Zayn's hand. Zayn was surprised when he helped him up as if he was the one with a disability. "So let's do that in the car then. Come on. You have to lead me."

He giggled adorably and that made Zayn return that giggle. "You're going to walk outside in no shoes?"

"No, I'll get them. Or...." He said. "You could go get them while I text Mindy and tell her not to come today. That would make this all so much quicker cause you know I'm a slow texter."

Zayn let go of Harry's hand. "Fine. I'll go get them."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah."

*

*

Zayn had put the lawnmower on the trailer before he went to see Harry so really, all he had to do was lead Harry out of his house, up his driveway and into his car. And Zayn was happy about that because that meant he didn't have to pause for too long in the middle of their conversation.

"I took a look at pink before I put my phone away and it said that pink is love, romance and friendship. It also said something about feminine qualities as well."

"Like princesses and baby girls?"

Zayn smiled, knowing he had previously described the color pink in that way. "Pretty much that."

"You know... I got to hold a baby girl once. She squirmed a lot though. I was afraid I might drop her so I gave her back."

"Oh. Yeah that would've been terrible."

"What about you. Have you held a baby girl before?"

"My mother told me I held my sister a couple times. But obviously I was three then so... I don't remember."

"Oh. Well, that's okay. How do you feel about babies?"

Zayn nervously tapped the steering wheel. "Um... They're cool."

Harry chuckled. "They're cool? Oh come on, that's it? Listening to them babble is adorable. And don't you like putting your finger in their tiny hand? It's so cute when they automatically know to grab it."

"Sure, it's cute at first. Until those little suckers suddenly become the Hulk and don't know when to let go."

Harry gasped but laughed. "Suckers? Babies are not suckers. They're precious little soft squishy packages of love and innocence."

Zayn scoffed. "No doubt they are. But still."

"What do you have against babies?"

"Nothing. I love babies. I want to pinch their juicy little jaws sometimes. But talking about them just... It makes me uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

Harry had to pause for a moment. Wait. What? How was it that little tiny helpless humans made him uncomfortable? He tried to understand how someone, who was once a baby, could be bothered by a conversation about babies. It just didn't make any sense. But he wasn't going to push the issue. He respected Zayn's feelings enough to drop the subject. "No don't apologize. We'll just not talk about it anymore."

"Thank you."

Zayn expected him to tell him he was welcome or something, but looking over and seeing Harry lean against the door told him that maybe he wasn't welcome. He felt bad. He thought he might have ruined Harry's mood. So he stayed quiet.

But he was wrong because despite the silence all the way to his parents house, Harry was so excited to take Zayn's hand and walk up to the front door with him.

After ringing the doorbell, Zayn turned to Harry. "Now, quick overview of my family. My mother is the sweetest woman you'll ever meet outside of Mindy. She may even top her. Either way, im sure you'll love her. My sister Safaa is twenty one years old. She's in college right now so when she's not part time working at the corner store, she's studying. I swear she spends more hours studying in the day than I do sleeping at night. And my dad. Watch out for him. He can be standoffish, not just to guests. He has expectations but he never reveals them to the person he puts them on. He just quietly observes in a way that lets you know he's quietly observing you. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable but I've gotten used to it and I just try to make myself not care anymore."

"Oh."

"Don't be intimidated though. I'm not saying any of this to intimidate you. I just wanted you to have a heads up so you know what kind of house you were walking into. But something tells me they're going to like you a lot. So just keep being yourself."

"Gotcha."

The door finally opened and Zayn was so thankful his mother was the one behind the door. At least it could _start_  the visit off on the right foot. "Hi, sweetie. Welcome home. Who is this you have with you?"

"This is Harry Styles."

"Oh. Oh my goodness! This is the friend you told us about?"

Zayn was confused when she started to fix herself up because Harry couldn't even see her. But his mind was redirected from her to Harry when he felt his hand being tugged. "You told your mother about me?"

"Yes. You told your friend about me."

"That's not the same."

"What's different?"

"She's your mother. Mothers always have to approve of your friends so most people only tell about their friends to their mothers when they think they're good."

"You are good."

He smiled. "Thank you." He said quietly.

"You're welcome."

Patricia chuckled. "Come on in, Harry. Meet the rest of the family. I'm Patricia by the way."

Zayn went in first and he guided Harry in along with him. Harry sniffed the air and smiled. "Your home has a lovely fragrance, Mrs. Patricia."

"Thank you. That's Jasmine. There's a little freshener plugged into a socket in the hallway. I always forget visitor's can still smell it because I'm so used to it, I can't smell it anymore unless I leave for a long time and come back."

"Where do you buy it from?"

"Walmart."

"Oh. Nice."

"So this is the living room. You two wait here on the couch while I bring everybody down stairs. Then we can all have a nice chat."

"Sounds good to me. And tell Dad I've got the trailer and lawnmower outside."

"Sure dear. Why don't you get Harry something to drink or eat, if he wants it. I'll be back."

As she darted out of the room, Zayn helped Harry sit down on the couch.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"No. Dont go through the trouble. I'll just get something when I get back home this evening."

"You're sure?"

"Yep."

Zayn looked apprehensively at him. "If you're doing that to be nice, you don't have to. She offered it."

Harry reached out a bit and pat his leg to assure him he was fine. "It's okay."

Zayn looked down at his hand. Zayn wasn't the touchy person when it came to friendly relationships. But contact like that somehow always made the message Harry was trying to convey to him much clearer. So he didn't ask him again.

They sat there quietly for a moment until Harry sliced the silence. "So is this the house you lived in growing up?"

"Yes. This is where I lived before I went to college and this is where I was staying for about a month before I moved next door to you."

"Nice. But don't you miss the company now that you're living on your own?"

He shook his head. "No. I like my alone time. Not having your parents over your shoulder every moment of the day is a good feeling."

He smiled. "I wouldn't even know what it's like. Grandma died when I was nineteen. But I bet she would have been just like that as long as I was with Mitchell. With him being ten years older than me and everything."

"Age is just a number." Zayn said.

"That's how I see it too. As long as you're both of legal age, of course."

Zayn laughed. "That's right."

"Harry, darling."

Zayn faced his mother and then saw his sister and father there next to her."

"We're all here in the living room. There's three of us, including me. This is my husband, Yaser."

"Hello, Harry."

"And our daughter, Safaa. She's twenty one."

"Hello, Harry."

"Nice to meet you both. I was telling Mrs. Patricia earlier that you have a lovely smelling home. I smelled it as soon as I walked in the door."

"Yeah. That's the Jasmine." Yaser commented.

"And Jasmine is a refreshing scent."

Yaser walked over to Harry. "You know what? Let me shake your hand. I don't feel like I've properly met you until then."

Harry held his hand out, but Yaser had to go to it to shake it.

"There we go. Welcome to our home."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Now let's all have a seat and chat up a bit." Patricia said. "I've heard many things about you, Harry."

"Many?"

"Yes. Zayn talks about you occasionally when he comes over. Don't worry. It's all been good."

Zayn's mouth parted. Admitting he told her who Harry was, was alright. But he would rather they not give Harry the impression that he always went telling them about their time together. He was still trying not to be the weird neighbor.

"Always talks about seeing you." She went on. "And if he likes you, we like you too."

Harry blushed strawberry red. "That's sweet."

"So... yes. This is my family. Always friendly." Zayn said, loudly and quickly changing the subject in hopes Harry would forget what she said.

"Mr. Yaser, I've been told you have your own mechanic shop."

He smiled proudly. "I do. I'm trying my best to urge Zayn to take over when I can't do it anymore. But he doesn't want to. So I may have to shut it down."

"Because working on cars is not my thing." Zayn said in his defense. "To be honest, I don't really have a thing but I know that's not it."

Safaa laughed. "Mine either. I'm going to college and getting my Associate Degree right now."

"So I've heard. That's awesome, Safaa. What's your career path?"

"Likely a health profession."

"Awesome. You know, I wanted to go college a few years back."

"Why didn't you? You know it's still possible for you to get a degree."

"Oh, I know. But it's just different living with your elderly grandmother. She couldn't drive anymore so we called taxies everywhere we went. The school for the blind was so far away and just not feasible. But I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Grandma left me money and I still receive money because of my disability. I do believe going to school would probably be a hassle for me now anyway."

"Oh. At least you don't regret it though."

"True, but that doesn't mean I'm not still learning either." He reached out to pat Zayn's chest and ended up patting his stomach instead. "Zayn has been teaching me the meaning of colors."

"What?" All three of them asked at the same time.

"He didn't tell us that." Patricia added.

"Well, he has. He's great at it too."

"I'm not." Zayn said. "I keep telling him I'm not but he just insists. So I figured I could give it a try. That's all." Zayn specifically looked for his father's expression and though not too expressive, something about it made it easy to tell that he was proud of him.

"I think that's very generous of you to do that, Zayn. I'm proud of you."

"Sure is, Z."

At least he knew his mother and sister would express it.

"Thanks." He sat back on the couch and slowly exhaled so no one would mistaken it for sighing. It was a spur of the moment thing but that didn't mean it wasn't a good idea. Everything was working out just fine and Harry was already loving his family just as much as he did. If willingly befriending Harry and volunteering to teach him something in the coolest way possible was what made his father proud, then with all the energy and power he could muster up in himself, he was going to do his utmost to do it to the best of his ability.

*

*

They stood outside of Harry's home just after he unlocked the front door. "I didn't know I'd end up staying till late but once again, your mother's cooking was delicious. Thank you for letting me stay and have dinner with your family. It was fun."

"You're welcome. I had fun too. And my family likes you a lot. We can visit again if you want." Zayn offered.

"Yes. I would love that some time. Being there to see you with your family sheds new light on you as a person. Now I understand why you're the way you are."

Zayn shoved the tips of his fingers in his pocket and hunched his shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"Just... The way that you are. I can tell. Just like how the person I was raised around molded who I am. It's difficult to explain, which is why we need to learn more about each other so we both can understand why and how we do what we do."

"Yes definitely." He said. "Like the way that you used your knife to help you scoop up your food at dinner. That was pretty fucking amazing."

"Thank you. Grandma taught me that. Someday I could teach it to you."

Zayn wasn't sure why that excited him. "Really?"

"Yes. But you'll need a blindfold so you can't cheat."

"Hey, I'm not a cheater."

"Blindfold."

He smiled. "Fine. I'll get one."

"Thank you." Harry opened his door and stepped in but then turned around a bit. "Oh and don't think I've forgotten but I want to talk about romance. And this time you better think about it because you're not getting out of it like last time."

Zayn was staggered. "What?"

"The color pink. We didn't ask any questions about each other like we did last time. Certainly if you didn't want to talk about love, you didn't think you'd also get out of discussing romance, did you?"

He panicked. "What? Why romance though? Why can't we talk about other things? Didn't we learn about anger and malice too? Let's talk revenge. Cause I have fantasized about getting plenty of that."

"No. We're not talking about fantasies. We're talking about real life. I want to learn more about who you are. Not who you could be."

Zayn laughed. "And you really think I'm romantic?"

"You just walked me to the door. That is a romantic gesture. Is it not? If you did it for me in a non romantic way, you likely did that and other romantic things for whatever girlfriend you had."

He held his hands out and scoffed. "If she was even considered a girlfriend."

"Good. So you did date. I'll call you tomorrow. You don't even have to come over."

He started to close the door.

"Wait. Harry."

But the door kept closing.

"You can't just—"

The door closed.

He stood out front with a confused look on his face and threw his hands up. "What just happened?" He asked himself.

Did Harry really expect him to talk to him about romance tomorrow? What was he supposed to say? He barely even remembered anything romantic he did since he rarely had time for that in college. And after the way things ended with the only girl he ever dated, he wasn't sure if anything he did with her qualified as romantic. Now, was he overthinking it? He probably was. But on the bright side, at least he only had until tomorrow to stress over it.

With a heavy sigh, he finally turned from his front door and made his way down the pathway and to the sidewalk. But halfway in front of his house, he stopped, took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jacket pocket and lit a cigarette up. Nicotine won't help him think but it certainly will give him something else to do. He can't back out now. So he must rise to the occasion.

"Tshh. _Romance..._  Of course you want to talk about that, Harry. Of course."


	10. Odd Suggestion

"Hello?"

"Hiya there."

"What's up, Harry?"

"What are you doing?"

"Putting dishes away."

"Oh. So does that mean you're too busy to talk right now?"

Zayn opened a cabinet and put away a plate. "I answered the phone, didn't I?"

"Ah, so you did. But I hope your sarcasm means you're ready to have a nice chat with me about what I said we'd be talking about."

"Uh... It doesn't."

"But Zayn. I gave you a full twenty four hours. Surely that's enough time to recall _something_  you did."

Zayn folded one arm and held it up by enclosing his hand and wrist under the opposite armpit. "Why do you want to know so bad? How is my romance supposed to help you?"

"It helps me learn about you and what you're like, which I'm trying to do since that was the deal when we agreed to do this. So can I?"

Zayn groaned internally and stepped away from the dishwasher for a moment. How did Harry expect him to answer that? With a no? Well, he couldn't say no to him. Not for that. "Yes you can. Ask away, Harry."

His voice came in cheerful through the receiver. "Okay. I just want to know what's the most romantic thing you've ever done in a relationship?"

Zayn sat down at the kitchen table. "Um... Well... Let's see. I'm trying to remember because that wasn't something I did often."

"Take your time. But not too long because ya know... It is late."

"Thanks to you." Zayn said but he made sure to put a little extra pitch in his voice so Harry would know he was doing more joking than assigning blame. Thankfully, Harry understood what he was doing.

"Yes. And I wouldn't have to if your family had not been so lovely yesterday." He let out a happy sigh. "I'm still buzzing about how well they treated me."

Zayn felt something weird go through his body. It wasn't tingles and it wasn't shivers. But it sure was different. Maybe it was a pull. "So I know what I want to tell you about."

"Perfect." Harry said excitedly. "What?"

"The most romantic thing I remember doing is buying my girlfriend's birthday cake and after we and our friends ate it, me and her just escaped from our friends and sat outside on the college campus' front lawn to watch the stars."

Harry gasped. "Wait! You went to college?"

Zayn paused. He did just say that, didn't he? "Well, yeah um. I did. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about romance."

Harry gasped. "Wait! I forgot you said you went to college. I wanna know more."

Zayn paused. "Well, um, I would share more but we're not talking about that. We're talking about romance."

"Okay. But we're definitely going to talk about that another day, right?"

"Sure." He said reluctantly.

He could hear him squeal. "Go on about your romantic moment."

"Right. We itched like crazy after that from the mosquitoes and grass but it was worth it. At least it was then. Now, not so much. Or even at all. More like a waste of time."

"Wow, Zayn. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you completely regret it."

"I do. You have no idea."

"So give me one."

He shook his head even though he knew Harry wouldn't know it. "What do you want me say?"

"What was her name?"

"H... Heidi." He said in a hushed tone.

"Heidi. That's a very pretty name. I bet she was just as pretty."

"She was. Heidi was beautiful. And she was an amazing girl at first. She made living away from my family so much easier."

"Aw. That's cute."

"Yeah, yeah. _It was_  cute. Now it just makes me sick to the stomach to think about. Pretty faces can't all be trusted."

"Um... O...Kay. I think that's my cue not to ask anything else. I'll just let you share whatever else you're comfortable with sharing when you're ready. Maybe we should talk about my romantic moment now."

Excellent idea. "Yes. I would love to hear about you."

He cleared his throat into the phone. "When Mitchell and I were together, I made dinner. It took me all day to do it but I didn't want Mindy's help so I knew I'd need to start at least seven hours before dinner time if I was going to make it special. So I did. I even tried lighting candles. Thankfully I didn't start lighting those until he got here because I accidentally set the tablecloth on fire and he had to put it out. It was so embarrassing to know I almost burned my house down but we were still able to enjoy dinner and then after that, just lie in bed together."

Zayn leaned over the table on one of his elbows. "Wow. I've misjudged you a bit."

"How?"

"I feel like I expected too much. I thought you asked me about romance because you expected me to be extra creative and have all these extravagant ideas. But even your romantic plans didn't go as perfect as you wanted."

"Nope. But it was still the most romantic night I ever had. It was a lot of work but... completely worth it." He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Sometimes I miss him, you know. That's all. I think maybe things didn't work out because I wasn't ready then. I was only twenty one. Now I have an idea of what I want and I'm just not completely sure about how things went. Yes, he's happy now, but what if I never find another Mitchell?"

"Uh oh. Someone hasn't been typing in their goals, I see." He sang.

He heard Harry chuckle into the phone. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I need to make a goal about finding love too. But I have to get out if I expect to find anyone. Mitchell didn't just come to me. I met him through Mindy when we were both out shopping. So I know it's still exactly the same way now."

"That's right. But," He clicked his tongue. "You have me for that. If you want to get out more, I'm your man."

"But Mindy is my girl. I need to eat up as much time with her as I can because Liam is going to keep her so busy when they're married. I can feel it."

Zayn felt his chest tighten. He had no idea how busy. "But regardless of whatever happens, you have me to count on. I'm your friend."

Harry was quiet for much too long and Zayn began to wonder if he said something wrong. Did he? Sure he'd had eight different conversations with him. Nine if he counted the one they were currently in. But would that automatically qualify them as friends? He would think so. But did Harry agree?

"So we are friends to you?" Harry finally asked.

"Are we friends to you?"

"Sure. I called us that when we went to meet your parents but I wasn't sure that you thought that so I wasn't going to jump to conclusions and say it anymore until I heard you say it too."

He sat up straight. "Of course we're friends. I really like you. You're different. But a cool kind of different."

"A blind boy is cool, you say?"

"Come you, you should know. That's what you told me the first night we met. _'Cool kids wear sunglasses.'_  Doesn't that ring a bell?"

"Oh." Harry laughed into the phone. "I only said that because you were being so dense. Most people automatically know right away but it took you until the next day. That's pretty bad."

"Actually, I figured it out when I got in bed that night. But like I said, I was too busy wrapped up in my own problems to pay attention to anyone else." Zayn's voice lowered and the guilt was clear in it. "I was upset because I had tried to quit cold turkey but after three days, I was back to smoking again. I was so angry at myself because I know I can quit. I just don't know how."

"Oh. I see. Well, sometimes cold turkey isn't for everyone. Sometimes it needs to be gradual and you need someone supportive along the way."

"Like who?"

"Me, silly."

"You." He said.

"Yes. Me. You wrote that down as a goal and I want to help you achieve it. I believe I can."

"And how do you expect to do that?"

"Well, first... You're going to need a blindfold."

"I thought that was for when you taught me how to eat with the knife and stuff."

"It is. But now I'm going to use it to help you to stop smoking too."

Zayn was confused. "What? How is a blindfold going to help me?"

"You'll see when it's time. And it's not time yet. Just be ready. If you really want to be a non smoker, I think you'll really like this idea."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright then. I'll give it a go. As long as there's no torture involved."

"Ooh. Sorry. I can't make that promise."

They shared a laugh and then a brief silence before Harry spoke up once more.

"I was just kidding, by the way. There won't be any physical torture. But smoking is an addiction so likely some mental torture. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Oh, I'll try."

"Good. Can't wait. So anyway, I know I called late and I don't want to hold you up any longer than I already have. So it's time to say goodbye."

"Always enjoy talking to you, Harry."

"Same here. But for you."

Once he said that, Zayn knew then what that funny feeling was that he felt earlier. It was definitely pulls. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight."

➡ ➡ ➡

  
"So... what exactly are you getting a blindfold for?"

Zayn withdrew a little bit. He didn't really want to say why. "Just to have."

"Just to have? Why don't you want to tell me?"

"Because I don't have to. Don't you know you're being really nosy right now?"

He held his hands up. "Fine. But I have to ask. You're not into any um... You know... This is not for a girl, right?"

Zayn turned his face up in disapproval. "No! Come on Lou. Don't ruin my appetite before we get something to eat."

He chuckled. "I'm just saying. That was the only reason I could think of, you know. For buying that thing, anyway."

"Well, you're wrong. And just for the record, I'm not into that at all. It is strictly only for blocking out the light and it is not for anyone else."

"Sure man. I believe you."

Zayn stopped at a certain part of the aisle and glanced over it. "I found it. This color is..." He picked it up. "Indigo."

"You want a blue mask?"

"It's a blindfold. And yes. As long as it covers my eyes the way it should, I don't care what color it is."

"Even if it was pink?"

Zayn smiled, thinking about Harry. Harry would probably be happy he purchased one in his favorite color. "Still wouldn't care. Now come on. I'm finished here. Let's go."

If Zayn was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure why he was so reluctant to tell Louis about Harry. He just was. He wasn't necessarily hiding and he wasn't embarrassed either. He loved hanging with Harry. Harry brought new perspectives to life. But some part of Zayn was selfish. He didn't want Harry to share those perspectives with anyone besides himself. And introducing Louis and Harry to each other would make the risk of that happening very high.

Harry was his friend but Harry wasn't _his_  friend. Harry was Mindy's friend. She did ask him to become friends with him so that he'd have someone close by when she moved away. But still, he wanted to be the second friend of his, regardless. Everyone else could come third.

At some point, he did have plans to tell Louis about him though. Maybe once he felt like there was no threat of Harry liking Louis more than him. But not now. Not while he was still greedy and wanting to learn everything about Harry as quickly as he could absorb it.

He looked down at the blindfold package as they headed for the check-out line at the front of the store. He still didn't understand how it would be pivotal in helping him to quit smoking. But Harry was smart and clearly he had a plan. He wondered if it would really work.

* * *

"Now I know why we stopped being friends for a while."

"Why?"

"Because we eat too much when we're together."

"Here's your meal. Have a good day, sir."

"Thanks." Louis took the bag from the food truck window. "Blasphemy! No such thing as eating too much."

Zayn chuckled. "Thanks for paying for my food though. You didn't have to do that and I certainly wasn't expecting it."

"It's the least I could do after you embarrassed yourself when you bought that bondage blindfold today."

Zayn punched him in the arm. "Stop saying shit like that around people when you know that's not true." He pointed at him. "Next time I'm going for the face and leaving you a black eye."

Louis laughed. "Lighten up a bit. I'm just trying to make an extra conscientious effort to be funny since I was never that friend for you."

They opened the car doors to Louis' car and got in. "Bro... If that's your way of being funny. Just be the nerd instead."

Louis handed him the food to hold and he took it.

"Fine. I will." They backed out of the parking space and got on the road again. "Zayn."

"What?"

"Did you know a rat can hold its breath long enough to crawl up a sewer pipe, up through your toilet bowl and into your house?"

Zayn turned to him quickly. "What?"

"Yep. I told a kid that in the pet store. He and his mother had adopted a cat during pet adoption week and named it Tom. But he wanted a rat too so he could name him Jerry. His mother said rats were a no-no so that's when I told him that. After that, he said he'd wait in the bathroom for a rat to come up out of the toilet. It was hilarious."

Zayn would've thought that was cute but he couldn't get over the whole rat holding its breath and winding up in the toilet thing. "Were you serious about that or was that just to make them both happy?"

"Both but that's a proven fact."

"And by proven, you mean it's happened before."

"Right. As an experiment."

"Does that happen often though?"

"Nope. It's pretty rare. Maybe even a point three chance."

"You're positive about that?"

"Yep, why? Is it creeping you out?"

He gave him a _"duh"_  look. "What do you think? That's a fact you should keep to yourself. Maybe you're not even good at being a nerd."

Louis laughed. "Hey, we were away from each other for three whole years and only saw each other sporadically in a two year period before those three. We have to learn each other all over again. It's sad but it's true. And we have a ways to go."

"I guess that's what I get for bailing on you, huh?"

"Yeah... A little bit." He said.

Zayn leaned back against the seat and huffed. He didn't know why he was taking all this time to spend with Louis and get to know him again when it was kind of hard to be patient and do just that. Especially when for some uncanny reason, he found himself thinking he would much rather be at home, sitting at the kitchen table and having a phone conversation with Harry again.


	11. Arduous Challenge

"Zayn?"

"Yep. It's me."

The door opened and Harry backed out of the way. "Can you lock the door for me, please?"

"Sure."

It was dark in the house so after he locked it, he felt his way into the kitchen and turned on the light. Now he was really able to take note of his surroundings. Something was being read through the speakers of Harry's phone.

_Actually, Stanley had been impressed when he first found out that his great-grandfather was robbed by Kissin' Kate Barlow. True, he would have preferred living on the beach in California, but it was still kind of cool to have someone in your family robbed by a famous outlaw. Kate Barlow didn't actually kiss Stanley's great-grandfather. That would have been really cool, but she only kissed the men she killed. Instead, she robbed him and left him stranded in the middle of the desert._

"Um... What are you listening to?"

"A story called Holes."

_He was lucky to have survived," Stanley's mother was quick to point out. The bus was slowing down. The guard grunted as he stretched his arms. "Welcome to Camp Green Lake," said the driver. Stanley looked out the dirty window. He couldn't see a lake. And hardly anything was green._

"Holes... Interesting."

"It is. By the way, when do we discuss the color green?" Harry questioned.

"Not for a while. Why?"

"Because Stanley is going to a place called Camp Green Lake in the story I'm listening to. I was curious about the color. That's all."

"Oh." Zayn pointed toward the door, using his thumb. "I um... I noticed Mindy's car is out there. Is she here?"

"Yeah. She's having a nap. We went grocery shopping earlier and she was tired. I was hoping we'd all have dinner together if she wakes in time."

"Oh."

"But I made plenty for all three of us. Don't worry. She helped me with the portions before I shooed her out of the kitchen so I'm sure there is enough."

"Okay."

"How about you go have a seat in the living room for now. You'll learn how I cook and prepare meals later on. It's not time yet."

"Alright. Fine."

"And don't stay in here just because I can't see you either. I will know."

"Come on. I'm not gonna do that to you."

"Goodbye, Zayn."

He left the kitchen and went to the living room where he turned on more light and took a seat in one of the chairs with his blindfold in hand. Now that Harry sort of brought it to his attention, he did wonder how Harry was preparing everything. He guessed the best part about it was that Harry said he'd show him another day. So that was something else he could add to the list of things to look forward to learning about him.

Much to his satisfaction, while listening to the noises Harry made, he never once heard a plate or any silverware drop to the ground. So Harry really did know what he was doing. And even though Harry always easily gave off the idea that he did, it was still very impressive.

While he waited, he also thought ahead of the game and opened his blindfold and put it on his head. But he didn't pull it down over his eyes just yet. Moments later, Harry finally called him for dinner.

"Alright, Zayn. It's ready! Go wash your hands and then come eat!"

He sprang from the couch rather quickly and rushed to the bathroom. When he was finished in there, he got up and went to the kitchen with Harry. "I'm here. He said. When he saw the plates of chicken and rice on the table, he immediately wanted to scream. But why? He wasn't sure. He just did. Somehow, a blind man fixing a full plate of food for him made him really edgy. But in a good _I'm-so-amazed-by-you-my-screams-might-make-more-sense-than-my-actual-words_  kind of way.

"Looks delicious, Harry. Like, really delicious."

"Thank you. We picked that chicken up from a smokehouse restaurant today, though. And the flavored rice comes out of a bag. So I didn't have to do too much."

"The effort still counts and it looks amazing. So thank you."

He smiled. You're welcome. Now do you have your blindfold with you?"

"Yep. Right here." He stretched the elastic so that it popped back against his forehead. "Ouch."

"Alright, then have a seat in the chair closest to the door because the other chair with the plate at it is where I usually sit. Your plate might not be directly in front of you but feel free to move it. You won't hurt my feelings."

"Okay. Should I go ahead and put my blindfold over my eyes now?"

"No. Wait."

 _"...I'll think of a number between one and ten. I'll marry whoever guesses the closest number. Okay, I'm ready."_  
_"Ten," guessed Igor._  
_Elya said nothing._  
_"Elya?" said Myra. "What number do you guess?"_  
_Elya didn't pick a number. "Marry Igor," he muttered. "You can keep my pig as a wedding present."_  
_The next time the water–"_

Harry turned off the audio after letting the phone tell him where and what to push to turn it off. Then he came and sat down in the chair. "Are you right or left handed?"

"Right."

"Me too. So your cup of water goes on the left side of your plate and toward the back, like mine is. Go on and place it there if it isn't."

Zayn did. "Sure. But why does it _have_  to go here? I sometimes keep mine on the right side."

"You do that because you can see how to keep from knocking it over. But I can't. People tend to reach more often with their dominant hand. But I can be clumsy. So by me doing it this way, there's less chance of knocking it over when it's on the opposite side of my dominant hand. This isn't necessary. Just easier for me."

"Gotcha." Even though it wasn't necessary, Zayn still wanted to do it like him.

"Okay. You may have noticed that I do have napkins ready on the table on the right side. And they come in handy right away. Why? Because what I like to do first is take my hands and locate my plate so I have an idea where it is and how big the plate is. Mine is directly in front of me and is normal sized. But I already knew that because I checked when I got it down from the cabinet. Now that I know that, what I'm going to do is leave my left hand on the left side of my plate and use my right hand to gently touch my food."

Zayn frowned. "What?"

"You may not have seen me when I ate over your parents house but I did that there too."

"You did?"

"Yes. And for the record, I don't always go through every step before I get ready to eat. For example, I didn't have to worry about drink placement when we ate at Village Grill because Niall always sits my drink on the same side since he knows where I like it. Secondly, I didn't need to feel around for the items on my plate because I only had a salad in a bowl with bite-sized chicken. Third, since I always order the same thing every time I go, I know how big the bowl is so I don't have to size it either."

"Oh, I see. So why do you touch over your food like that then?"

"Well, if you're having a meal with multiple food items, it only makes sense to touch the food on your plate to make sure you know where everything is for when you're ready to eat it. This is my chicken." He said patting one of the strips of grilled chicken. "This is my rice and this is my bread." He said after touching the rice and roll.

"Cool."

"Yep. And also another good feature of doing this is that you get to feel how hot the food is before you eat it. Mindy says you guys can see steam so you can relatively tell how hot the food is before you come in contact with it. But I can't. I have to see with my hands and feel the heat. And of course, this meal is good and hot but tolerable enough to eat and enjoy."

Zayn smiled as Harry used the napkin to wipe his fingertips.

"Now we eat. But not you. Don't touch anything yet." Harry carefully reached for his silverware. "I don't need to show you how to eat a roll. That's a given. So I'm going to show you how I eat my chicken and my rice."

"Okay."

"First, I use my knife to cut the same way you would do it. Grandma taught me this." He used his fork to hold a strip of chicken in place and then the knife to cut a small piece away from it. Once he stabbed the piece he cut away, he carefully brought the fork to his mouth and ate it.

"See? Easy. Two common and rude misconceptions about blind people is that we either A) eat like cave men and animals or B) we're incapable of feeding ourselves at all. Those annoy me so much. But as you can see, they're not true. We know where our mouths are. If we can blow our nose and scratch an itch, we know how to locate a body part we can't see without looking at it."

Zayn chuckled. "Yep true. Those people that assume that are terrible, by the way."

"They don't know any better but that's why it's important to do a little bit of research and educate yourself before you open your mouth. Now, let's move on to the rice. As you can see, just like I had done it at your family's house, I still have my knife in my hand. What I'm going to do is place my knife down in the plate somewhere in the middle of the rice or on the side, whichever way you want to go, and then use my fork to scoop the rice sideways toward the knife. The knife acts as a wall and keeps me from pushing my rice all the way to the edge of the plate and getting it all over the table. It's a great way to stay clean and be less messy when eating."

Harry then lifted the fork to his mouth and ate what he had scooped up. When he was done, he left the silverware on his plate.

"Let's say you get thirsty while you're eating. What you need to do is gently reach out with your left hand for your drink. But don't move too fast because you might hit it and knock it over. Once you have found the cup, pick it up, drink from it and when you're ready to put it back down, locate the left side of your plate with your right hand and then sit the glass down with your left hand. The purpose of touching the plate is so that you can sit the cup down gently and not accidentally sit it on the edge of your plate and knock it over."

As Harry spoke, he demonstrated it for Zayn and Zayn was so amazed by how simple it was for him. "Wow. You made all of that look so easy."

"It is easy but only because this is something that I've been doing for all twenty three years of my life. It might be a little bit difficult for you because you're just now learning but if you're patient, I believe you can get it fast. So let's test my beliefs. Go ahead and pull your blindfold down over your eyes."

Zayn pulled the blindfold down. "Done."

"Alright. Since I can't see what you're doing, you're going to have to say it as you do it."

"Oh boy."

"You can do it Zayn, I believe in you. Tell me what's the very first thing we do."

"Um... Well, I already moved my cup so I'm supposed to size my plate."

"Yes. Good job. Do it."

Zayn did. "Done."

"Then what?"

"Um... After I size my plate, I identify what food is on my plate with my fingertips."

"Right. That's why it's especially important for us to wash our hands before we eat even if we don't plan on eating with our hands. We don't want to transfer any germs into our bodies."

Zayn nodded. This was a great example of Harry living life from a different perspective. "This is my rice." He said and he smiled at the thought of using his hands. It was so weird. He felt like he was just playing with this food. "That's the roll and..." He felt around again. "Ah, my chicken."

"Good. So you know where all your items are. That will help you remember where they are when you start using your utensils to eat. What comes next?"

"I eat?" He asked.

"Well, first how do we get something to drink?"

"Oh. I slowly reach out with my left hand and grab my cup. Got it. Then I drink from it." He drank from it. "Afterwards, I find the edge of my plate with my right hand and then I sit my drink down with my left." It took him a moment to do it because he didn't want to be the one to spill anything but he did get it. "There."

"I told you, you could do it." He said excitedly. "Now we eat. Just don't forget your knife is a wall."

"I won't."

Zayn began to use the knife and fork to cut a piece of chicken just like Harry did. That went fine until the knife slipped a bit and the fork ended up pushing food toward the edge of the plate. He gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I pushed food on the table."

"It's okay. You're a beginner. Keep going."

Zayn sighed and cut the chicken. This time, it was successful and he ate it. It was so delicious and he grinned into the air. Whatever smokehouse restaurant they went to, that place sure knew what they were doing.

Now he wanted to try scooping rice. He recalled what part of the plate he had touched and put his knife down in the middle. Then he tried using his fork to push against the knife. However, halfway through, he realized that this was very awkward. He couldn't really turn his hand the right way to use the knife as a wall. He was bringing his elbows inward to his body and turning his wrist but still, something was very wrong. Why was he failing miserably?

"I give up. I can't do this." He pulled the blindfold off of his face and saw that he was right. He had actually knocked the roll onto the table as well as a little bit of rice. "Food is all over the table now."

"How do you know? Did you peek?"

"Yep. I'm peeking now."

"Come on, Zayn. We're both supposed to be blind tonight."

"I know. But I've put more food on the table than I have in my mouth. I can't do this. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

He sat back and pouted and Harry could hear the pout in his voice. "Okay, Zayn. First you need to put the blindfold back on. And then I will help you."

"You will?"

"Not until that blindfold is on."

Zayn quickly put it on and picked up his silverware all in one motion. "It's on. Now what?"

Harry slowly and carefully stood up and gently reached out for Zayn. He was going for his shoulder but he accidentally poked the side of his head. "I'm sorry. I was looking for your shoulder so I would know where you were."

"That's okay."

As Zayn was waiting for instructions, he felt Harry wrap an arm around his neck and use his hand to feel down Zayn's arm to his hand. He palmed that hand and then did the same with the other hand although he didn't need to wrap that arm around Zayn's neck.

"I'm sorry if I'm crowding you too much and making you uncomfortable."

"You're fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yep. I'm not uncomfortable. Go on."

"Okay. Thanks. Well, since food is already all over the table as you say it is, just eat the way you would normally eat if you weren't blindfolded. I'm using my hands on top of yours so I can feel the way you use the fork."

Makes sense.

As weird as it was, Zayn used the fork to shovel rice and took it to his mouth. After eating it, Harry smiled. "Ah. I see what the problem is."

"You do?"

"Yes. And there is a simple solution. You and Mindy hold your forks the same way. When I was teaching her how to do this too, I figured out that she learned to hold her fork differently than me when she was growing up. Just like her, you shouldn't try to copy me but rather learn to hold it differently in order to be comfortable. Here's how."

Now he squeezed his hand enough to be able to maneuver them. "Help me out, here. What you should do is turn your knife toward you. Since you hold your fork sideways, it's best that you push the food to you. Pushing it away from you will cause the mess you've already made."

He twisted his hands so that the knife was parallel to the front of Zayn's body.

"Then use the fork to get some of the rice." Harry pulled his hand toward him until the fork made contact with the knife. "Now eat."

He let go of Zayn's right hand and Zayn was able to eat. "Mmm. Delicious. And yes, that's so much easier than trying to copy what you did."

"Yes it is. From now on, you should do it this way. It is much more comfortable for you."

Zayn just realized that Harry was talking in his ear. He giggled. It felt weird but good. "You think this is how blind couples show each other how to do things?"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure. But it might bit a little bit harder to explain to one another." He stood up and took his arms from around Zayn.

"Wait. C-can you show me one more time?"

"Why?"

Could he say why? It wasn't bad but maybe it was embarrassing. He would definitely be the weird neighbor if he told Harry that there was something about having a voice in his ear and being touched when blindfolded that was the most comforting yet titillating thing he had ever experienced. "Just to make sure I've got it. To be absolutely sure."

Harry was quiet for a moment. "Sure." Once again, he wrapped an arm around Zayn's neck and felt down Zayn's arm to his hand. After palming that hand he did the same with the other one. "Alright. We take the knife and point it to our right. And then bring to fork toward us. Now eat."

Zayn ate. "This is so amazing. I can barely form words to describe how amazing this is."

"It is, pretty cool isn't it?"

"Hmm, what's going on in here?"

Zayn jumped at the sound of Mindy's voice and accidentally dropped his knife to the floor. "Uh–umm. eating. We're eating."

"Did I startle you?"

"Yes." He admitted. "How long were you there?"

"Long enough." She said and Zayn couldn't help but feel sheepish. He wondered if she heard him ask Harry to show him again.

He took his blindfold off. "Oh. He was just showing me how to eat. That's all that was happening."

"He's learning quickly." Harry said.

"I see. Looks like I'm missing the interesting part."

"You can still join in. We haven't been long sat down to eat. Food is on the stove. Fix yourself a plate and come eat with us."

"Sure. Zayn, would you like another roll and knife?"

He could barely look at her. "Yes ma'am– Yes please. Yes." He cleared his throat and she smiled gently.

"I have my blindfold as well." She announced as she plucked it from her pocket. It was leopard print and shiny and so like her.

"You two don't have to eat with those on if you don't want to." Harry offered and he sat down in his chair again.

"No, that was your plans so that's what we'll do. It's okay. And you two were getting along just fine before I interupted so this seems like it would be fun." She made a point to look at Zayn.

"Oh, alright. Let's do it."

Yep. She heard him. And Zayn was thankful Mindy insisted, so he quickly pulled the blindfold over his eyes again. At least by doing this, she couldn't look at him during dinner and he didn't have to feel shamed about being looked at. Perhaps being blinded did have some perks after all.

* * *

"It says brown can mean stability and indicates masculine qualities. But I don't get the relation at all."

"Me either." Mindy said.

"Nevertheless, that's what it means. The first thing I think of when I hear brown is chocolate and dirt."

"And poop." Mindy said.

They laughed.

"Yep. That too." Zayn said. "But for things that smell pleasant, chocolate wins out. So when you think brown, think chocolate fudge or caramel fudge. Peanuts and peanut butter, chocolate cake and chocolate pudding. When you toast your bread, it leaves a golden brown color. Beans can be brown and cooked meat and gravy can be brown. Though most meats actually have a reddish brown color to them when cooked right. When it comes to not food related things, think of the earth and pot planting and mud and getting dirty. And even cooler, skin colors are many beautiful shades of brown from dark to light. My eyes are brown and so is your hair. The proper term would be brunet when it comes to your hair though."

"Cool. So your eye color matches my hair."

"Yep."

He yawned. "That's really interesting and a fairly simple color. What's the next color?"

"Reddish brown. It's associated with harvest and Fall."

"The season I'm getting married in." Mindy said.

"Yes. Harvest time is around Halloween. It starts mid October and ends at the end of November... ish. Somewhere in there. But that's when a lot of good crops are ready so families and people like us have plenty of food to carry us over the winter until planting season begins in March again. That's when all the pretty colorful pumpkins come out and lots of corn and wheat."

"And those good pumpkin pies Mindy makes."

"Aw, thanks, Harry. I'll definitely make you one this Fall, for sure."

"Speaking of Fall, you love the season of Fall, don't you, Harry?"

"Mhm, it's the best weather." He said.

"I agree. The only thing about it is that it gets dark earlier and earlier and you can't enjoy the sun as much as you would like to."

"Oh."

"But for you, it's perfect, I guess."

"Yeah. It's always dark for me. Whatever dark means. I only completely understand one meaning and it's not the meaning you guys often use."

He nodded. "But Fall is... Harry.... Fall and it's colors is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. During harvest season, the leaves are a mixture of brown, yellow, red, orange, green and reddish brown. The way the colors combine is something inspiring. Jaw-dropping amazing."

"The way you describe it makes it sound jaw-dropping dropping amazing. But I think I'll understand better once I learn what all the other colors mean." He yawned again and leaned against the back of the couch.

"Sure. And we will. But for now, I think you need to get to bed."

"I'm sorry. I know I keep yawning but I had a long day. We went shopping and made a lot of errands."

"Yeah. We did. Plus the work week was a bit much for me."

"Then we should all say goodnight. I don't want to hold anybody up." He stood up from the couch and so did Mindy. "Yeah. I'll go put on my flats and grab my purse. Zayn, don't leave yet. I want to talk to you."

Zayn felt his chest cave to his spine. Last time she wanted to talk, it was bad news for Harry. But why did he have a feeling this was about what happened at the dinner table? When he turned around, Harry had stood up already.

"Well, at least all the dishes are washed and the table is clean, so you can just climb right on into bed."

"Yeah. You and Mindy didn't have to do that, you know."

"You cooked the meal, so why not? Plus you showed hospitality in showing me how to eat with you. That was fun."

"After we made changes, it was fun. Not when you lost your first roll."

Zayn laughed. "Nope. Wasn't fun then. But I'll definitely be eating with you like this again. I might even practice at home and get really good at it like you."

"Ooh. I'm intrigued. A guy who wants to learn to eat with me. Tell me more."

"I'm back." Mindy said. But she seemed rushed. Like she thought Zayn would leave out anyway before she had a chance to talk to him.

"I'm gonna hug you Harry."

Harry held his arms out and she hugged him. "Love you Mindy."

"Love you too. Thanks for dinner. But next time don't be stubborn and ban me from the kitchen. I want to _help_  you make dinner.

He smiled. "I'll think about it." Now he held his hands out for Zayn. "Zayn?"

He glanced at Mindy who was giving him a tight lipped smile. "Um..." Then he hugged him too.

"Thanks again. You made my night." Harry told him.

"Same to you."

Mindy went around turning off all the lights in the house, and afterwards, she and Zayn went outside together.

"You and Harry seem to be taking to each other quite fine."

"We are. Harry is a cool friend to have. It's hard not to."

"I was surprised when he cancelled last week to go meet your family. It gave me little tingles."

"It did?"

"Yep. I like the idea that he has enough going on in his life that he can cancel normal plans. He hasn't really had that over the years. But I know for a fact that spontaneous things keeps him going."

"Oh."

"So thank you."

"You're welcome but I want you to know that the reason I'm befriending Harry is not because you asked me to. I had plans to do that anyway. Well, not plans but I mean like... I wanted to get to know him before you asked me to."

"I get it. And that's the whole reason that I asked you because I knew that it was something you already wanted to do in the first place. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think you could ever befriend Harry in a genuine way."

He nodded.

"But you're doing fine. Just keep doing what you're doing."

"I will."

They split at the sidewalk and she walked to her car which was parked alongside the road directly at the pathway in front of the house.

"Goodnight." She called out to him.

"Goodnight." He returned.

He watched her drive off and then walked onward to his own house. At first, he had an urge to stop and have a smoke but it was a bit easier not to feel that urge because he was just trying to get in the house, hoping that he can leave his embarrassment outside. It was obvious that she saw what happened at the dinner table, but he wasn't sure if she thought there was anything suspicious behind his request. Did she? If she didn't, then good. There was nothing suspicious about asking him for extra help just to be sure. But asking because he thought being touched while blindfolded was enkindling to the senses, well... That was different.

 


	12. Orange

Zayn pulled on the handle to the door of the pet shop and went in. He assumed it would be hard to find Louis but to his surprise, he could see him at the back of the store near the fish tanks. So he made his way to him. Louis didn't notice him until he got up on him.

"Oh. What's up, Zayn?"

"What's up?"

"What brings you here?"

"Eh, nothing much."

"So I take it you're not pet shopping."

"Nope."

"Well, I'm on the job, you know."

"I can see that."

He stopped and faced him. "So what are you doing here, if you're not pet shopping?"

"I wanted to see what you were doing."

"Oh." Louis seemed excited to have someone come to his place of work just to observe him. It didn't even matter that he shouldn't be talking casually on the job. If someone was actually showing interest in what he did, he didn't mind showing them. "Right now, I just finished checking the tanks for dead fish. We're clear."

"That's good. You definately wouldn't want any customers to spot one in there. Now what?"

"Well, I was going to straighten out the shelves to make sure everything is tidy. But come here. I want to show you something first." He gestured his head for Zayn to follow him and he did.

He led him over to a cage of male hamsters. "We just got a few new hamsters in. Look at this guy."

Zayn bent down to look in the glass case. There was a tannish coloured hamster in the cage and he was up and walking while the rest were all piled up and sleeping inside a plastic castle. "Aw. He's cute."

"Isn't he? He's a busy little guy too. I named him Peanut."

Zayn stood up straight. "You named him? Louis, that's not good. You know naming leads to attachment. If someone buys him, that's going to break you."

"I know. That's why I'm not going to let that happen?"

"What are you going to do? Tell them he's sick to make sure they choose another one or something?"

"No. I'm gonna buy him."

"When?"

"Today, before I leave."

A smile slowly crept up on his face. "Aw. That's awesome, man. Lou and Peanut."

"Yep."

"So why'd you name him that?"

"Because he's a Golden Hamster and his color reminds me of a roasted peanut. They're native to Syria and are also commonly known as Syrian Hamsters. But they've been found in Greece, China and a few other places as well."

"Wow. You think you're ready to be a pet owner?"

"Of course I am. I studied to be a veterinarian. I know all about nutritional diets and what to do when they're sick or behaving abnormally. Trust me."

"That's not what I mean." He pointed out. "I mean are you ready for the responsibility? Head knowledge is different from having to actually put it to use. Pets become your family. We don't always deal with family rationally. And many times we don't even have time to deal with them at all. You wouldn't want to neglect him."

He laughed. "You know me. I'd never neglect a precious little creature such as this. He'll give me some company in my condo. Which I kinda do want anyway."

Zayn nodded and chuckled, low-key feeling sorry for him. "That's a great idea. Peanut would make great company."

"Mhm."

Peanut jumped against the glass barricade and Zayn chuckled. It was cute how he was trying to get out. He might be just perfect for Louis.

"So how was your day?" Louis questioned and he moved on down another one of the aisles.

"Fine, I guess. The strange thing about today was that every single customer that came in needed an oil change."

"Every single one?"

"Every one of them. That's the first time that has ever happened."

"There's a first for everything." Louis was moving along until he stopped at a part of an aisle. "So where are you going after this?"

"Most likely home. Just to relax."

Well, that wasn't the whole truth. He was going to go home and practice eating blindfolded the way Harry taught him. He figured it'd be good to use that with Harry next time they ate together again.

"That's nice. I won't be off until another thirty minutes."

"Bummer."

"Yeah."

Zayn shoved his hands halfway in his pockets. "Hey listen, Lou."

"Yeah?"  
  
"I want to ask you something. And tell me what you think."

"Alright."

But Zayn just nervously stood there.

Louis raised his brow. "Um, I'm waiting. What do want to you ask me?"

He slowly took a step toward Louis and leaned next to his ear. "How does it make you feel when someone gently speaks to you in you ear like this?"

He furrowed his brow. "Uncomfortable."

"That's all?"

"Yes. Weird also fits that agenda. Why do you ask?"

"Well. Let's see." He took his left hand out of his pocket and wrapped that arm around Louis' neck. Then he leaned in his ear again. "Close your eyes."

"Z, what are you doing."

"Just close your eyes and you'll know."

"You're not gonna do anything else weird, right?"

"Depends on what you call weird. Now the quicker you do it, the quicker this will be over with."

"Fine." He closed his eyes.

"Forget everything you thought about beforehand. Just concentrate on me and what I'm doing. Now, tell me how does it feel to have me talking in your ear like this?"

Louis opened his eyes and lifted Zayn's arm from around him. "Still weird. And Zayn, you need help."

"What do you mean? You didn't feel anything?"

"No. What was I supposed to feel?"

Zayn hesitated. "Uhmm... Nothing. You were supposed to feel nothing."

"You're lying."

"Nope I was just curious. That's all."

Louis pulled a bag of guinea pig food toward the front of the shelf. "I know when you're lying and you are. You were expecting something to happen, weren't you?"

"Maybe. But it was mostly just an experiment. To see if what I'm looking for happens to everyone."

"Apparently not then, hm?"

"Apparently not." He said in defeat.

Louis sighed with a half smile. "You always tease me for being weird but you're weird too, it seems."

"I have to be. Or else no one would believe we were ever friends. I'm just not on your scale."

"Says the one who came over here and tried to get me to feel something just by talking in my ear."

"Don't say it like that. You make it sound bad."

"Not my intentions. My intentions were to make it sound weird."

Zayn chuckled. "I really hate you."

"I know. The feeling is mutual." But then he couldn't help but be serious. "I know we're joking but I really will hate you if you cause me to get in trouble for talking on the job."

"Oh right. I better leave then."

"But of course when you're ready to buy a pet, I'm your guy."

"Yep. But I'm not ready now. So I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Bye."

Zayn scurried out of the store and Louis pulled more food up to the front.

"Dude."

He faced Alex, a coworker at the pet store. "What?"

"You were risking it."

"Risking it? Risking what?"

"If Miss. Tillis saw you chatting it up with your boyfriend like that on the job she would've wrote you up fast."

Louis frowned. "Boyfriend? That wasn't my boyfriend. I'm not even into guys."

"Are... ya sure? You don't have to lie. I saw him all in your ear."

Louis tightened his lips. "I'm plenty sure. He's just a friend. Nothing beyond that."

"Well does he like the guys?"

"No. He does not like _the guys."_  He said tiredly. "And even if he did, I wouldn't tell you because it's not your business."

"Right. Well, I just came over here to tell you that anyway. Chatting on the job would still get you wrote up if she caught you. I'm looking out for you."

"Yeah, yeah. While also assuming. If you say that again, I'm going to take these two fingers and poke you in the throat."

Alex covered his exposed neck with his hand. "Ouch. I can already feel it."

"Yeah, I bet you can."

➡ ➡ ➡

"This smells like chocolate chip cookies." Mindy said as she put a candle up to Harry's hand.

"Thank you. I can't wait to burned it."

She stopped and smelled the air as he went down the hallway. "I see you're already burning a candle!"

"Yep. It's cherry blossom!"

"Wait. So you burned Zayn's candles before all the others I gave you? That's interesting!"

Harry waited untill he put the candle up and then came out so she didn't have to yell anymore. "Does that upset you?" He asked apprehensively.

She chuckled. "No. The candle smells good. I like it. He chose a great candle."

Harry grinned. "Yes. He did. What do you want to do, today?"

"Well, I was thinking I could get your opinion on something regarding the wedding."

"Okay what is it?"

"Liam's dad wants to pay for everything." She said quickly.

"What?"

"I know. I tried to say no but he told me I should think about it."

"What does your mom think?"

"She says she wants to add her share. I wanted that as well."

"What does Liam think?"

"He says I should let him do it because they had both talked about it together."

"Oh."

"I really don't know what I should do. Liam is well off. But I don't want to come into our marriage using his money to benefit me. I hate it." She plopped down on the couch and put her hand on elbow on her knee and chin in her hand.

"Well, I would suggest you talk to Liam again. And this time be a little more sure about what you want."

"That's the thing. I'm not even sure about what I want. The only thing I know is that I want to be married to Liam."

He smiled. "That's a start. And you know that he wants to be married to you so at least you know that if you disagree on this then it's not going to change anything."

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that. I guess I just have to work up the courage to tell him how I feel."

"Yes. Exactly. When you do that, you'll get an idea of why he wants to do it. Until then, I'm not sure it's of any benefit for us to discuss it."

She sighed. "True."

Harry slowly made his way into the living room with her and sat in one of the chairs. "Although I've got a question for you now."

"What kind?"

"Is there a better way to purchase a large amount of cigarettes at once instead of just one single pack?"

"Yeah, if you purchase an entire carton. You're not thinking about smoking, are you?"

"Me? Smoking? Even though I choke up when people do it around me?"

"I'm just asking. I didn't know if Zayn was having that kind of influence or not. You've known him for a couple months already. You never know."

"No. He hasn't influenced me. I'm trying to influence him."

"By buying him more cigarettes?"

"No, by playing a game. But it'd be much easier to play it when I have more than just the little box on hand. He's buying his own cigarettes."

"Oh."

"How many cigarettes come in a carton?"

"Three are different cartons. Some are one hundred, others are two hundred and I believe I once saw a three hundred count carton. I'm not too sure it comes in four hundred though."

"And they all come in one?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is it just one big resealable container with all the cigarettes in it?"

"No. There's twenty in a pack, so for a one hundred count carton, there's five packs. For two hundred, there's ten and so on."

Harry nodded. "Oh. I get it. But that's way too many cigarettes. I was thinking along the lines of something different but I could change my strategy then. First, what would you suggest is to be enough to get Zayn to stop smoking?"

"Um... More research."

"More research?"

"Yep. If you really want to help him quit, let's look online at some facts about smoking and trying to quit first. That will help you to approach the situation in the best way possible. Okay?"

"Okay. He smiled. "Lets do that. But you know what I don't understand?"

She got up, came over to Harry and then knelt down beside him. "What?"

"After what just happened between both of us, we apparently can resolve each other's problems but not our own. Why is that?"

She thought for a moment. "Good question, Harry. But I don't know why. Just a thing that humans do, I guess."

"We're weird."

"Yep. We are."

➡ ➡ ➡

Saturday had finally rolled around again. And now, Zayn was back at Harry's house and standing in the kitchen, watching Harry dry off the counter with a rag. "I still don't get it. Why did you ask me to buy more cigarettes? And why two packs?"

He stop drying the counter and put the rag next to the sink. "Because if we play our cards right, these should be the last cigarettes you ever buy and you won't even smoke all of them."

He raised his brow. "Really?"

"Yes. I have a plan. A plan that involves that blindfold you wore last week."

 _Finally._  Zayn thought to himself. Finally he was going to know how Harry figured the blindfold would help him learn to quit.

"Do you have another pack of cigarettes?"

"Yes."

"How many is left in the pack?"

"Five, I think."

"Okay. So not many. But I have a few questions I want to ask you. What's the most amount of cigarettes you've ever smoked in a day?"

"Four, but that's rare. I only do that when I'm really stressed."

"What's the most amount you smoke on a normal day?"

"Three."

"How many would you say you smoke a day on average?"

"Two to three. Either at lunch or on break before work ends and then at night. Sometimes I do all three."

"Okay. And the least you smoke a day?"

"Um, I have skipped days when I'm really busy and don't have much time but never more than one day. But when I do smoke, I smoke at least once a day. Usually at night or at lunch."

"Okay."

"Why do you need to know all of that?"

"To get an idea of how addicted you are. Because now you're about to be reduced to one a day. Do you think you can handle it?"

Zayn gasped. "One a day? What?"

"Yes. But you have to cooperate. You can't go out and buy cigarettes just because you crave them. This is on you."

"Huh? Can't you explain better?"

He huffed but was very patient with Zayn. He understood that this was something new to him. "You really want to quit, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Well here's how you will do it. I did some reading with Mindy. The hardest part about quitting smoking is resisting the nicotine cravings when you're going through nicotine withdrawals. It takes about three months to fully get over those. You tried quitting cold turkey once before but the nicotine withdrawals pulled you back in. So I came up with a little solution that's much like a game and that keeps you from having to quit cold turkey right away."

Zayn folded his arms. Wait. A game? How did Harry turn non smoking into a game. "Okay? I'm listening."

"Keep your five cigarettes. You'll need to smoke those up until Saturday. That's a week from now. You said that you've gone a day without smoking and was fine so I'm going to need you to skip a couple days in between and not go out and buy another pack. Can you do that?"

"I think so... But keep talking."

"After that, the real process begins. The way it will work is that I'll hide a pack from the carton you bought somewhere around the house every week. You'll have to go in search of it but the catch is that you'll have your blindfold on and you have to use your preception of touch like me. If you find it on Saturday, you get to have the whole box and it's yours to smoke. If you don't, you only get seven to smoke for the entire week. That's one a day."

"Okay. I see. But if I'm still getting my nicotine fix everyday, how will that stop me?"

"You didn't let me finish. First of all, I'll give you all seven at one time. So you can choose to smoke all seven in one day or one a day. It's all about how you choose to use it. But after that week is up, you'll come back and try searching for a pack again. But this time, if you don't find it, you only get six for the week. That's less than one a day."

Less than one a day? That intrigued Zayn. "And let me guess. The next week, it drops to five?"

"Yep. And then four and three, two, one and then zero. You're getting it now."

"Harry, I'm going to suffer when we reach three to zero."

"Sure. But you can choose to either suffer through a three month long withdrawal or the long-term effects of lung cancer for the rest of your life. It's your choice."

"Who says I'll get lung cancer?"

"Who says you won't?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Touché."

"So?"

"Uhm... I don't know... I want to."

"Ah, ah. Remember what you wrote down. It's not that you want to it's that..."

"I will."

"And you can only honor that if you take the leap."

Zayn felt a churning in his stomach. Committing to becoming a nonsmoker right now? Right here? Today? He knew that was a great decision but he had to admit that he was a bit scared to make that leap. Harry was right though. Saying _'I will'_  only worked if he was willing to cooperate with his statement. And he wanted to cooperate. He just had to figure out how to cooperate Harry's way. "Okay. I'm just not sure how it will work."

"I'll guide you through it all so don't worry about that. I did my research with Mindy. But you can hold true to your goal by telling as many people as you can that you're quiting. Especially your family."

He quickly shook his head. "No. Not my family. I don't want to tell them I'm trying to quit."

He didn't understand. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to disappoint them. I tried this once before and failed. If I don't finish again, I already know how they'll look at me."

"But you will finish. You will finish and they'll all be very proud of you. Trust me."

"But you can't promise me that so that means it's not sure."

"It is if you make it sure. Cigarettes and nicotine have controlled you but for once, you can control cigarettes and nicotine. You have that power. Zayn, you can do something about it and do something about it for good. I believe in you."

There were those last three words again. Each time Harry uttered them, Zayn felt something in the bottom of his chest tickle. To support him was one thing but to support him because he believed in him was another. It was empowering. "Alright then. I will."

Harry grabbed the rag again. "You will?"

"Yes. I will."

"You're sure?"

Zayn smiled. "I will."

"I can't hear you. Say it like you mean it."

"I will!" He laughed out. Then he came and stood next to Harry. "I swear it's like you're a motivational speaker or something. Just get finished. We have a new color to learn."

"In a minute."

* * *

"Red is a primary color on the color wheel which means you can't mix any two colors to make it. But orange is not a primary color. It's made by mixing red and yellow together."

"That's cool."

"Yep. And that is the next color we're going to learn. The first is just a general description."

"Okay."

"Orange is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. It represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation. It gives the sensation of heat but is not as aggressive as red. Orange is a citrus color and is the color of fall and harvest."

"Fall and harvest. Just like reddish brown. But unlike red, even when I hear someone say the color orange it's refreshing to me. Because I immediately think about orange juice and the fruit. What about you?"

"Well, I don't really think about it like that, to be honest. I only think about the color that I see in front of me."

"Then what is orange to _you?_  Outside of what you've just read on the screen."

Zayn paused to think. What did orange mean to him? Suddenly a bell dinged inside his brain. He knew exactly what it meant now. "Orange to me, reminds me of a sunset. When it's late in the evening and you're sitting outside, preferably the summertime, and you look out into the distance and you see the sun going down and there's this array of oranges and yellows and reds that just paint the sky. And sometimes it's even purple and pink. It's beautiful and that's what I think about when I hear orange."

Harry leaned back on the couch with a happy sigh. "Sounds like poetry."

"It does?"

"What you said. I bet that sunset is a beautiful sight."

Zayn went quiet for a moment. As much as he loved learning from Harry, there were those times like this that really made him he wish he wasn't blind so that he could take him and show him so many of the beautiful things that Harry had yet not seen and never will be able to see.

"Um... So... Yeah, let's move on." He said, barely able to concentrate anymore. "I thought it was interesting that dark orange can mean deceit and distrust. I don't know how those two things relate since I don't think about that at all whenever I look at the color orange. But I guess people do think like that." He was visibly frustrated now and it could even be heard in his voice. "But unfortunately, I personally know people the qualities fit real well with."

Harry sat up a bit. He wanted to ask him who he was talking about. But something told him it was about that Heidi girl Zayn brought up. And since he said he wouldn't ask but rather let Zayn share when he was ready, he stayed quiet and opted to keep his word.

"Let's just hope neither of us ever resemble qualities of dark orange."

"Yeah." He shoved the phone in his pocket and thought intently. What would he do if he ever became a person who deceived people and garnered mistrust for himself? It was hard to know. But he did know he never wanted to be that.

"So about you."

"What about me?"

"This is the time where we learn a little bit about each other, Zayn."

He nodded once. He kept forgetting that was a thing they did. "Oh, right. What do you want to know?"

"Orange can mean happiness. I want to know makes you happy."

Zayn scoffed. "What makes me happy? I don't know. Hanging with you?"

Harry laughed. "That's cute and flattering but no. I'm serious. I wanna know what made you happy before you met me?"

Of course Harry wanted to know that. Why did this man always have to ask real questions? Superficial would be nice sometimes.

"Um..." He shrugged. He wish he had a better, less depressing answer but he only knew to be honest. "Whatever it is that makes my family proud of me. That's what makes me happy. Like my dad. I know that he loves me. I can tell. But for some reason, he has this thing about finishing what we start. So when I dropped out of college, I knew he was so disappointed in me. He just never said it. The only thing that I want is for him to look at me and say "son, I'm proud of you." So that I know, you know. That's it. And then I'll be happy."

Harry took his time about answering. So much of what Zayn said made him want more for him but he didn't want to get into his home life and background either. He had to figure out how to approach it.

"I can see why hearing him say it would make you happy. I was always happy when I reached milestones and Grandma would praise me for them. But even still, that's not why I did things. I didn't aim for milestones just to hear grandma tell me I did it. I did it because I didn't want to be held back by my own disability or by others' criticism. And you know what? I'm glad I wanted that because Grandma isn't here anymore. If that was the only reason I did things, I wouldn't have anything to work for anymore.

"But you. You have a beautiful heart and mind and soul and your family does care. I just think that if you do things for yourself first, then after that, everything else will come. Plus, it's not just you family anyway."

"What do you mean?"

He stood up from the couch. "Come on, follow me. I have something I want to show you."

"Okay."

Zayn reluctantly got up and followed him down the hallway. They turned into his bedroom and Zayn had to turn on a light because the curtains and blinds were not open in there. Harry went over to his closet and pulled something out, it was a stuffed pink duck and was obviously a child's toy. Then he went over to his dresser drawer and opened the top one. After feeling around a few seconds, he pulled out a familiar item: a pink fur ball with a chain hanging from it.

"Isn't that the keychain that Mindy gave you?"

"Sure is. I still have it and I'm never throwing this away." He walked toward Zayn's voice, holding his hand out so that he could touch him before he ran into him. "You've been teaching me colors pretty well and now I know everything pink represents. One of them was friendship. I thought that was pretty odd and ironic, considering that the one thing that started off the friendship between Mindy and I was pink. So I figured, that I can do the same with you. This duck that I have was purchased by my grandmother when I was sixteen. It took a few months for her to buy it for me because she had trouble getting the funds. But she finally did and I was so ecstatic when I received it then. But now I want to pass it down to you. I want to give you something I really love to start off our friendship in the same way that Mindy did for me."

He held the duck out to Zayn. Zayn really wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. "What? I– I'm not trying to sound ungrateful but why this? You don't have to give me this."

"I know. But I want to. Listen... Hearing you talk about your father and how you long for him to express how proud he is of you makes me sad. But if you really don't want to tell your family you're planning on abandoning cigarettes for good, you don't have to. Maybe you're not looking for their support for fear of thinking it might go to waste, but you've got mine." He looked for Zayn's hand, then grabbed it and made him take the duck. "And you've got our friendship."

Zayn held the duck close to him. Of all the things Harry chose to give him, he had chosen to give him something very special to him. He didn't have to do that. Things like that demonstrated exactly why him saying being around Harry made him happy wasn't so wrong. Even though Zayn found hugging him was weird last time, he still leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Harry for a hug. "Thank you."

Harry was astonished by that but didn't hesitate to return the action. "You're welcome, Zayn."

Surprisingly, it was Harry who had to pry away from Zayn and after he did so, he put his keychain away again. "Now about me. I hope you're ready for a long, long, long list of things that bring me happiness. Because there's a lot."

Zayn frowned. "Whoa. How long are we talking? How long is this list?"

"Why? Is that scary for you or something?" He gasped. "Are you panicking, sweetheart?"

He calmed his voice and let it come out nonchalantly. "No. Not panicking. Just wanting to know how long I'm expected to listen to you blabber on, _darling._  That's all."

Harry smiled and gently pushed him backwards and into the hallway. "You're so cute."


	13. Complex Feelings

What Zayn expected to be just non-stop blabbering from Harry, turned out to be the opposite. Everything Harry wanted to share had real meaning behind it. Also, the list of things that made him happy wasn't as long as he said it would be either. Apparently that was just a joke. So Zayn knew he was going to have to do better about learning how to distinguish between when Harry was joking and when he was serious.

Of all the things Harry mentioned, Sunflowers really caught Zayn's attention. Why? It was "quite simple", Harry had told him. He liked to pluck the flowers and feel the stem between his fingers.

If anybody else had said something like that to him, Zayn likely would have found it weird. He would've wondered why anyone would choose to destroy a flower rather than observe the beauty if it. But knowing that Harry was blind, allowed him to see it from a new perspective. Harry wasn't destroying a flower's beauty. He was just appreciating it in a different way.

For some reason, Zayn wanted to contribute to that. He wanted to go out and buy one or pick one to give to him. But at the present moment, sunflowers weren't blooming yet. Those wouldn't be available until summer and fall. So for the time being, he jotted that down in the little notepad Harry gave him. He couldn't wait to find out what Harry's reaction would be.

"Okay, Zayn. I'm done."

Zayn faced the open front door and was a little apprehensive about the smiling man in front of him. "Why do I feel like you're too happy? Are you up to something?"

"I'm not."

"Uh huh. Then why did I have to come outside while you hid the cigarettes?"

"Because if you didn't, it would have been easier for you to hear what room I went in and you'd just start there. This way, you have no choice but to guess which room you think they're in and where. Which means if you don't find it today, you'll have to go back out there when I get you your cigarettes for the week."

"Harry. For the last time, I'm no cheater."

"Great. So that means it's easier to remain that way as long as there is no opportunity to become one."

Well, that much was true. Zayn couldn't argue his reasoning there. "So..."

"So come on back in and let's try to do this before Mindy gets here. She'll be here soon."

Zayn leisurely walked in past him. "I'm in."

Harry locked the door. "Put your blindfold on."

He pulled it down over his eyes. "Done."

"Now do your thing."

"Do my thing?"

"Yes. Go in search of what you're looking for."

Zayn lifted his blindfold and looked at Harry. "What? I thought you were going to guide me."

"Huh?

"You weren't going to guide me around?"

"That's what you wanted?"

"Not that I wanted it. I just thought you were going to do that since I don't know my way around your house that well. I might run into a wall or knock something over and break it."

Harry was thinking. "So you want me to show you to where you want to go?"

He smiled a victorious smile. "Yes, please."

Harry felt for him and put an arm around his waist as he stood beside him. "Where do you want to start?"

"How about your candle room?"

"Okay. But here's a lesson you should learn for future purposes. From the front door to the end of the hallway and the back door is sixteen small steps. Walk with me and count out loud."

Zayn did just so, allowing Harry to be his guide.

"See?"

Zayn smiled. What an ironic word for two blinded people right now. "Yeah."

"Alright. Now I'm gonna let go and you face left and keep walking and you're in the room."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"Should I be concerned about knocking stuff over in here?"

"Nope. Just take your time and feel around before you go walking."

Zayn frowned. Maybe Harry misunderstood that he wanted him to guide him around the room too. But he wasn't about to ask him to do that. That would be embarrassing. So he walked in the room and used his hands to feel around by himself.

Picturing what the room looked like when Harry gave him a tour, he remembered the wall of shelves on the left. That's where Harry kept all his candles. Where would Harry hide a pack of cigarettes? It had to be some place he could reach if he was going to be blindfolded or else he couldn't see how to reach them. And he didn't see Harry as the type to deceive him either. So he figured he would start with all the shelves he felt candles on.

It took him a while to fiddle around because he was careful not to knock a candle onto the ground as he felt behind them and on top of them. But he had no luck. He did not feel a pack of cigarettes there. He moved on to the other parts of the room and felt around. He knew he was touching a desk and could feel books and the base of a lamp, but there weren't any small boxes the size of a cigarette carton. There wasn't even anything resembled it in touch.

He had barely been doing this for about ten minutes and had already become frustrated. Why did he ever agree to this? But then as he began to think more on it, he realized Harry would not have made this sort of deal with him if he thought it would be easy. Because how else could he learn to stop smoking? So this level of difficulty made sense.

After checking the desk drawers with no discovery, he ended up going into a closet but he was so concerned about messing things up that he didn't search too far inside. Plus, he figured that if Harry couldn't see, then he wouldn't know to hide the pack of cigarettes so deeply anyway. Unless he had help from Mindy, then yes, there was the possibility. So maybe Zayn should _try_ to search further. After thinking for a while though, Zayn came to the conclusion that he was too lazy to dig through anyone else's things right now. So he decided to give up.

"Alright. I'm done for the day."

Harry was sitting on the couch in the living room, sipping from a mug when he returned. "What?"

"I'm done."

"Already?"

"Yep."

"Why? Did you find anything?"

"No."

"So why'd you give up so soon?"

Even though there was plenty of space in the living room, Zayn still chose his place as the space on the couch right next to Harry. "Because even though this is a fun idea, it's still really challenging and I don't have the patience to spend a long time depriving myself of something that isn't necessary to deprive myself of."

"What if you didn't have a choice? What if you were blind like me? You'd _have_ to make it work then."

"But let's be real, I could never make it work the way you do. You use your situation to bring a whole new perspective to life. On the other hand, I'm just constantly in everyone else's way."

Harry faced him and laughed and that should've been offensive, but Zayn found it so alluring that he didn't disagree with him. "So you agree that I'm in your way, I see."

"Stop. I didn't say that. I just think you're a silly twenty four year old. That's all."

Zayn leaned upward and put his elbows on his knees. For him, the idea that Harry couldn't see the way he was looking at him was most comforting. Because he knew it would probably be weird for his next door neighbor to look at him in a way that seemed as if he was the most oddly perfect person he'd ever seen.

"I like how you hide how you really feel from me. Really makes me feel right at home." He said sarcastically although this type of sarcasm was easily detected as playful.

Harry played along well. "You do? Well I'm glad. I do try really hard."

Zayn just softly elbowed Harry in the side so as to acknowledge him without words but he did not expect Harry to respond by doing the same to him. And he certainly didn't expect the soft grin he gave him either. Zayn really wished he wasn't blind and that his eyes weren't covered by those blue sunglasses right now. Because if all he had to go by was his body language, then it surely seemed as if Harry might just be matching his new feelings of interest. And unmistakenly so.

➡➡➡

  
"That is how you complete a successful oil change. What do you think about that?"

Zayn groaned. "I thought I didn't have to do the dirty work. I'm getting paid to work the counter, aren't I?"

"Son, this is something for life. It's something that's great to know how to do. What are you going to do when I'm no longer around and you need an oil change? That's thirty dollars you can save and put elsewhere. And if you and your wife each have a car, sixty dollars."

"Who says I'm getting married?"

Yaser wiped his hands with a torn rag. "It's still something that's good to know. Married or not. But perhaps that temporary girlfriend you're talking about getting may want that some day."

Zayn chuckled. "Okay, I know what you're doing. I'm not going to fall into that trap."

"What am I doing?"

"You're going to go on about how I should finish what I've started and marry her. I know you."

"Then you know that I'm right as well."

"But maybe I want to do things differently."

"Doing things differently almost got you in trouble in the first place. You almost brought a child into this world with the wrong person. Find a life partner and you won't have to worry about that. If she really cares about you, she'll want to be with you and you don't have to find out later that she tricked you."

Zayn cringed as his father put his tools in the proper place. "Don't. Please don't."

"If it hurts for you to talk about it, then that'll help you to remember to avoid it happening again. That's the way I see it."

"You know..." Zayn wiped his hands on his mechanic suit. "I bet if I suddenly told you I was like... into my own sex, we'd never have these types of conversations." He said.

Yaser stopped putting up the tools and looked at him in shock. But he didn't say anything.

Zayn folded his arms. "Obviously, I'm not into it. I'm just saying I know we wouldn't. That's all."

Yaser still had that look of suspicion, like he was reading Zayn for guilt.

"I'm not." Zayn repeated. "It was only an example."

"Boys, lunch is heated up. Put down your tools, wash your hands and come eat."

The door to the waiting room was open and Zayn's mother was there smiling at them.

"Alright, Patricia. We'll be there in a minute." Yaser looked back at Zayn. "I'll finish putting all the tools away and give the keys to the customer. You can change back into your other clothes and don't forget to flip the sign that says we're on lunch break."

"Yes sir."

Yaser watched his son go inside with his mother and returned to putting the tools away. He wondered where a thought like that could have come from. Zayn's mind was much too busy these days. It was always as if he was trying to figure something out. He really worried for him. Zayn was twenty four and still wasn't sure about where he was going with his life. But he was hoping that he could figure it out soon. Because he knew that in doing so, it would mean that Zayn also finally found himself.

* * *

  
"Hello?"

Zayn pulled his feet underneath him in the bed.  "Hey, Harry."

"Hey, Zayn. Are you ready?"

"Yeah. I am. Are you?"

"I think so. It was interesting of you to suggest doing this over the phone this time. Why is that?"

There were a couple different reasons if he was being honest. First, today's colors were definitely not something he wanted to be face to face with Harry for when they were discussing them. And secondly, it might have had something to do with a sudden and very strange urge to have Harry's voice directly in his ear again but that was neither here nor there.

"I just thought it'd be good to try something different. You're not offended by that, are you?"

He could hear Harry smiling in the phone as he responded. "No. I love it. Different is good."

"Good. So I wrote down the meaning to the colors and I'm ready to share with you. Just... I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"Why would it do that?"

"I don't know. Just cause... It could get weird. That's all."

It took a few seconds for Harry to finally answer. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that. But I guess I'll find out once we go over this. I'm ready."

Zayn cleared his throat and picked up the paper he'd jotted down the information on. "So uh... There's Gold."

"Gold."

"Yes. Gold is wisdom and wealth and it often symbolizes high quality. I'm sure you've heard of the expression _'like fine gold'."_

"I read it in a book once."

"So that just means it's close to pure. Gold is most expensive when pure. So if something is like fine gold, that means it's so high in quality that it doesn't get much better than it is. And then of course most of us like to associate it with luxury and expensive jewelry, which is would be nice to have."

Harry hummed. "You know something... I never wanted to be rich."

"You didn't?"

"Nope. I never had a goal of wanting to make a lot of money. That's not something Grandma really talked about. She just wanted me to learn to survive and take care of myself. And that's all I wanted to do too."

"That's a first. I've never met anyone who never wanted to make a lot of money. You're so different."

"Yeah. So I take it you did want to make a lot then?"

"Of course. And I still do. It's probably not a reality anymore but it doesn't hurt to dream either."

"No. Definitely not. It never hurts to dream. I dream all the time."

Zayn lay back in the bed and held the paper up over his face. "So this next one is pretty intense. Caught me off guard, really."

"Okay."

"This is Red Orange."

When Zayn took too long to go further, Harry spoke up. "And what does it say?"

"It says it corresponds to desire... Um... Just all that type of stuff."

"Is that all it says?"

"Um... no?"

"Well, read all of it. I want to know about all of it."

At first, Zayn was going to pick and choose from what he wrote down. But he knew that if he wasn't completely honest, he wouldn't be fulfilling his promise. Doing so would not only disappoint Harry, it would leave him with a guilty conscience. So he exhaled slowly. "Okay. It says that Red Orange is... it's ' _sexual passion, pleasure, domination, aggression and a thirst for action'._ And that's it. So we can do your little Q and A thing you like to do now."

His eagerness to move on made Harry laugh into the phone. "That's it?"

"Yeah. That's all."

"No, I mean that's what you were afraid to talk about? What's wrong with either of those things that you read?"

Zayn hadn't realized how sweaty his hands were until he rubbed his face in frustration. "Nothing is wrong with them..."

"Then why are you nervous?"

"Who says I'm nervous?"

"The shakiness of your voice does. The hesitation to even talk about it does."

Zayn turned over on his side. "You're not uncomfortable?"

"Nope. I'm quite comfortable."

Those four words were scary coming from him and they did not help Zayn relax at all. He was hoping Harry would have wanted to skip over the conversation. "Oh."

"But I don't understand. Why are you so uncomfortable with it? Is there something I don't know?"

Yes. There was. He couldn't tell Harry, but it stemmed from the day Louis made that bondage joke about his blindfold a few weeks ago. He shot that idea down very quickly but the way he was aroused by Harry's gentle hand when it touched down his arm and then even Harry's voice in his ear that night, it kind of made that not so much just a joke anymore. Now it had settled in the back of his mind as a nagging thought. There was a measure of desire for it again and he couldn't deny that words like pleasure and domination really fit that whole bondage scenario superbly. Clearly his nervousness came from his own guilt. And his own guilt came from the fact that in its own uncanny way, some sort of sexual arousal did come from that, even if it wasn't felt in his underwear at the time.

"Well, it is just a color. I shouldn't even be worried about it." He finally said.

"Yeah. I think we're both mature enough to talk about sex and not cringe."

True, they were mature enough to talk about sex in general. But how would Harry feel about these specific thoughts? Because there was the possibility that what occupied his mind could run Harry away. And if Zayn were in his shoes and he knew what he was thinking, he'd definitely be trying to get away. Those types of thoughts made Zayn feel guilty so he took the phone from his ear and put it on speaker phone. Having Harry in his ear at the moment only increased that feeling. Poor Harry didn't even know what was happening.

"So um, what are you doing?" Harry questioned.

"Just lying in bed. You?"

"Yeah, me too."

"Are you bored?"

"Not anymore."

Zayn smiled. His choice of words made it seem as though he might have been bored before Zayn called him. That meant that Harry found him entertaining. Or if not entertaining, at least he was decent enough to be considered capable of keeping him occupied. He'll take it.

"So I just saved your evening then?" He asked curiously.

"Maybe."

"Just maybe?"

"Maybe." He repeated. "You're cute but I'm not about to feed your ego. That wouldn't make you attractive anymore."

Zayn was about to laugh but he stopped himself fast. Attractive? That, of course, could mean so much more. Since Harry was blind, he probably was not implying anything more than just that Zayn's personality was attractive. But was that usually accompanied with being called cute too? He didn't think so.

Then again, he probably was thinking too much on this. This wasn't the first time Harry called him cute so perhaps that was just something Harry liked to say. And why was he worried anyway? He was attracted to women. Sure, that realization about what Harry's voice and hands did to him was a surprise. But that was it. That wasn't real. _Was it?_

"You're really quiet. I must already be feeding it then, huh?"

Zayn came to his senses and he did finally let out that laugh. "Nah, I was just thinking."

"About me?"

"I can't say. I'm afraid I'll feed your ego."

"You think you're clever by using my own words against me but that just sounds like a yes to me."

"Then by that reasoning, my earlier question has just been answered. I did save your evening."

"Wow." Harry said as he laughed quietly into the phone and lowered his voice. "You are so not modest."

For some reason, that low tone had sent small shivers through Zayn's body. He turned over on his back and lay against the pillow with a smile. "So... does that mean I'm not attractive to you anymore?"

"Duh, you're so unattractive right now, it's not even funny."

Zayn knew he didn't mean it but he'd come to enjoy Harry's playful banter. "That's too bad. I really thought I had something going here."

"Shut up. You still do."

However, the way Harry had said that really caught his attention and he couldn't help but let his imagination run wild about what his facial expression might have looked like as he said it. There could have been many different expressions but he could only see dimpled cheeks as a product of a fond smile. And regardless of if it was strange or not, a large part him was hoping that he wasn't just imagining it but that it was something that had really occurred.


	14. Is It A Real Thing?

"Wait a minute. Zayn, you're not... You're not serious, right? No, you're not serious."

"What do you mean? Of course I am."

"But do you not know how random this feels? And why do I have to go with you? If you want to date the girl, just date the girl."

Louis held Peanut up to his face and kissed his back.

"I don't want to date her... per se. I just want to see."

"See what? You met her. You liked her. You exchanged numbers. What more is there to see?"

Zayn stood up from the couch. "If it's the same. That's all."

"The same as what?"

He hesitated. "The same..."

Louis rubbed the hamster's back with his index finger as he looked at him. "You really confuse me. Sometimes you talk about me like I'm the weird one but look at yourself. You don't have to be afraid of women just because of Heidi. Not all women will cheat on you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I am not afraid of women."

"Well, let me rephrase that. It's not that you're afraid of them in general. You just don't trust them anymore."

"Also not the truth."

"Then why do you always want me to go with you? Hm?"

"Because you're my friend. Duh."

"Yeah, right."

"But you are."

"I know. That _'yeah right'_ was not because I don't believe we're friends. It was because I know that's not the reason you want me to come with you."

"So that means you won't?"

"I didn't say that."

Zayn perked up as Louis returned Peanut to his hamster ball, which he had taken him out of earlier. "So you will?"

He sighed. "Sure. But if you want to hold hands and kiss and all that, I don't want to be there. I am not going to be a third wheel. I'm sorry."

Zayn shoved his hands in his pockets. "You won't be a third wheel."

"I better not be."

"I promise."

Louis folded his arms and watched his hamster roll out of the room. "Fine. Come back and pick me up at six. I won't promise I'll dress nice though."

"You don't have to. It's literally just an early dinner at the mall. As friends. Sort of."

Louis let out a noise that let Zayn know he didn't believe him but that was just fine with Zayn. He'd rather Louis not believe him than know the truth behind it all. It wasn't time yet. Not until he himself was sure of what was going on.

* * *

"Okay, so maybe I didn't want to do this at first," Louis whispered to Zayn. "But we just passed the book store, so this is a win for me."

"The book store?"

"Yes. You say that like it's bad but reading makes the brain stronger."

Zayn shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you can go in there if you want. But not now. I don't want to be left alone with her just yet."

He pumped his fist. "Yes."

Maitea sighed happily, not having heard a word of what they just said. "You know... I was surprised when you texted me, Zayn." She said. "I didn't have anything to do today, so I thought what the heck. I might as well go hang out with you. You were really nice last time. Plus I was excited about getting to spend time with Louis too since he didn't come with us last time when we went for ice cream."

Zayn smiled. "That's awesome. I'm— we're happy you decided to come along. I just woke up and thought about you and figured it'd be nice to get to know you even better than before."

She only hummed and continued on. Finally after walking a little more, they reached the place Zayn was looking for. "Ah, we're here. Stevin's Pizzaria."

Louis smiled. "I know about this place. This actually used to be a bakery called Sweet Tooth but they got shut down because they found out there were mice in the pantry."

Zayn and Maitea looked at him and gasped.

"But don't worry. Stevin's Pizzaria is not Sweet Tooth. Before they came in, the ridded the mice completely. It has a five star rating and the food is supposed to be good. Based on the reviews, at least. I've never eaten here before." When he saw the way Zayn was still looking at him, he shrugged and held his arms out. "What? It's all good now. I promise. That was just a little trivia before we went in."

"And that's cool and everything but let's try to keep that to a minimum. I don't know why you have an obsession with mice and rat related species, anyway."

Louis chuckled. "Zayn, I have a pet hamster. Let the record show that rodents are important creatures on the planet and also my favorite. We should all know about them."

"But not before we eat. That's disgusting."

"Fine. I won't talk about it now."

"Thank you."

"But no guarantees it won't happen later."

"Ugh."

Maitea laughed quietly. "You two are so cute."

The hostess was standing just inside the doorway and when they came in, he gladly led them to a booth and gave them menus. Zayn and Louis sat next to each other and Maitea sat across from them.

"I was thinking we could order one big pizza and compromise on toppings or just get fourths." Zayn suggested.

"Good idea." Maitea said. "I vote we compromise on the entire pizza."

"Me too." Louis added. "As long as we agree to an extra Large pizza and no pineapples."

All three of them laughed.

"Deal."

"Yes. Deal."

They ended up settling on buffalo chicken pizza with mozzarella and spinach. Thinking about the chicken made Zayn remember when Harry taught him how to eat with his eyes closed. He was supposed to see him today but Harry cancelled their plans to go wedding planning with Mindy. He wasn't upset. Sure, that meant he didn't have a cigarette to smoke today and no, he didn't get to teach Harry any new colors either. But this might be best.

After waking up and wondering if their whole phone conversation a few nights ago was considered flirting, he was forced to ask himself the real questions. If he had to question if he was actually flirting with another guy at all, then odds were that it was saying something more about himself than he realized. In his mind, he didn't feel that he could ever genuinely get into something like that. But his most recent thoughts, only contributed to the contrary.

So that's why Maitea was invited today. If he could find  
himself attracted to a man without even trying to be, then shouldn't it be even easier to be attracted to such a beautiful girl as she was when he was _trying_ to? Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly a sound way of reasoning. But at least after today, it could tell him where he stood with Harry. If he was actually into him in that way or if it was just a temporary result of the habitual practice of avoiding women after what happened at college.

They ordered their food and waited for their pizza to arrive at the table. Zayn was so nervous, but he was trying his best not to show it.

"Maitea, I like your hair." He said when he noticed it was pinned up by a hair clip.

"Thank you but I really just put it in a hair clamp. It wasn't anything special."

"It does look nice though."

"Thanks."

Louis looked at him with a partial smile. Zayn had actually complimented her. That was a huge leap for him. He could tell he was nervous, so he pat his back.

"Just so you know, I really am glad that you invited me here. I've never eaten here before."

"Neither have I, but you're welcome."

"Maybe one day you two could come over to my place for dinner. My mother makes the best food."

"Me?" Louis asked before he even knew it.

"Yes." She chuckled. "It would be cool. I have no doubt you'll love it."

He didn't want Zayn to think he was trying to steal the girl he liked, so he looked at him for an answer. When Zayn nodded at him, he could hardly contain his excitement. If Zayn was going to get a girlfriend out of this, did that mean he was also getting a friend out of it? Because it'd be nice to have more than just Zayn and Peanut to talk to. "Okay then. Sounds good to me. Whenever you plan it, Zayn will let me know and I'll try to be there."

"I will."

After that, they sat around and talked casually. Once Zayn stopped trying so hard, things flowed more naturally for him. He did find himself liking her even more as a friend because she was a cool girl. But she didn't make him feel things inside in the same way that Harry did. Even if he didn't want to like her enough for a relationship, it was still disappointing that he didn't at least like her a little.

Lunch zoomed by quickly and before Zayn knew it, they were all standing outside in the parking lot together.

"Thanks for buying lunch. It was delicious." Maitea told him.

"You're welcome."

"And you make great company. I like hanging out with you. You too, Louis. You two are cute."

Louis folded his arms. "Thanks. Although if you ask me, I'm better looking than him and far beyond cute."

She chuckled. "It's true that you're both good looking but I don't mean cute as in looks. I mean cute as in a cute couple. You fit oddly together but still cute."

Zayn and Louis looked at each other and immediately took a long step away from each other.

"What?" They both asked.

"What's wrong?"

Louis laughed. "Me? With him? I don't think so."

Zayn gasped. "Why not?"

Louis stopped laughing. "Because... You're... You. You're my best friend. Also I'm into ladies, not guys. And you too. Right?"

Zayn folded his arms and looked at Maitea. "I'm sorry Maitea. We're not in a relationship. I'm not even—" He stopped himself because he wasn't sure if that was about to be a lie or not. So he went with what he knew to be true. "I'm not into Louis in that way. We're literally just friends."

"That's all?" She asked.

"That's all."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"How did you come to that conclusion, anyway?"

"When I saw you two that night at the bar. And the way you looked at him when he told you he was going to browse in the bookstore before we left the mall. It was so adorable. And you're both so close and you know each other so well and I just thought... I don't know. I shouldn't have assumed like that. I'm so embarrassed."

"It's alright. No worries here." Louis said. "Even if one of us to date the other, I'm way out of his league anyway."

That made her laugh but Zayn was too deep in thought to take it personal. "So... When you came here today, you came here because you thought you were hanging out with us as a friend of ours?"

"Yep." She said. But then she gasped. "Wait. Was this supposed to be something more?"

He quickly replied. "No, no. I just wanted to be sure that you did think that. That's all."

"Yeah. I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now. Once I finish with college and feel ready, then I'll look for someone."

"Ah. Cool."

Zayn was excited to hear that but a large part of him was hurt. Sure, he didn't actually like her but he was at least hoping she would think something more could come of this lunch date so that he could say a pretty girl did find genuine interest in him. Instead, she did the opposite. So did he just get friend zoned by a girl he was trying friend zone? What was it about him that didn't make him irresistible enough for a girl to change her mind about not wanting a boyfriend? Because he never had the idea of ever liking another man but somewhere over the past three months or so, Harry managed to get him leaning in that direction. What was different about him from her point of view than Harry from his?

"Well, either way, my offer is still to both of you. Even if neither of us is dating each other, it'd be cool to hang out as friends at my mum's house over some good Mexican food."

"Definitely."

"Yeah. I'm still up for it." Louis agreed.

"Good. So, I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Later."

Zayn watched her get in her car and then walked with Louis to his. Once they were in it with the doors closed, Louis took a deep breath.

"Wow... So... That was weird, huh?"

He couldn't even look at him. "Yeah."

"I can't believe she thought that the whole time. You and me? I like you but not like _that._ Not in a million years."

Zayn faced him with a glare. "Way to spare my feelings."

"Sorry, man. I'm just saying. But I am curious. How exactly did you look at me when I went to look for a book?"

Zayn shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know what she was talking about. But trust me. I didn't look at you fondly if that's what you mean. As if."

"Nice." Louis said. "I'm not the only one who's good at sparing feelings."

That made Zayn snicker a little. "Shut up. I don't know what vibe we're giving off to people but it's clearly not what we intended."

"Tell me about it. When you came in the shop the other day, Alex assumed you were my boyfriend." Louis shivered. "So weird. It's like people can't be close without being suspected of dating these days."

Right away, Zayn felt sick to his stomach. For a moment, he actually thought the buffalo chicken might come back up. "Alex thought that?"

"Yep."

"Was it because of the whispering thing?"

Louis nodded and Zayn groaned, but it came out whiny.

"Sorry, Lou. I'm thinking but I don't really know."

"Know what?"

"Nothing."

So that made three times now. Three times that someone thought he was dating another guy. First Niall thought he was with Harry. Then Louis' coworker assumed he was with Louis and now Maitea thought so too? Was it something about the way he looked and carried himself? He was so confused. And not just about his feelings for Harry either. Why did this feel so much like his highschool years when people thought it was humorous to pick out the things that made him odd?

He started the car up and backed out of the parking spot. "Let's get you home. I'm pretty sure Peanut already misses you."

He watched how excited Louis became and he had to admit he did get a bit soft inside at seeing how excited Louis was to get back home to his pet. Was it even possible not to be soft? Louis was like a lonely child. Only he was an adult with a college education, a job and living by himself.

As he thought about that though, he finally came to his senses and figured it out. Maitea was probably right. Maybe he did look at Louis with a mild fondness when asked about going into the bookstore but not in a more than friends kind of way. It was more so due to a general admiration. Because how could he not stop and smile when thinking of the fact that his quirky and erudite friend from high school was back and beside him again? Wouldn't have made sense if he could've.

Of course, he'd never tell that to Louis. He'd rather keep to himself how glad he really was that Louis spotted him as he was walking out of the home decor store. He was lucky to have him as his partner in sarcasm. But, if only he had a cigarette right about now. That would be the perfect way to end the day and would successfully take his mind off of this bitterly disappointing Saturday.


	15. Yellow

"So are you going to tell me where we're going?" Harry asked Zayn from the passenger seat of the car.

"Not until we get there."

"But when will we get there? I feel like I've been riding for two days."

Zayn smiled at him. "Okay, that is terrible exaggeration. It's only been five minutes, if that."

"I know. I'm just really impatient and I want to know now."

"Sorry. You will have to wait. It won't be much longer though."

Harry leaned back against the chair and decided that if Zayn wasn't going to tell him, then he might as well wait patiently for them to reach their destination. It wasn't long after that when the car came to a stop and the engine shut off.

"Okay. Time to get out."

"Where are we?"

"You'll know when we get there."

"We're already here, aren't we?"

"Not quite. We're in the parking lot right now. We have to get out and walk to it."

"Oh."

Zayn got out of the car and went around to let Harry out. He took his hand and helped him out of the car, then closed the door behind him. But he noticed that Harry let go of his hand and felt down his arm until he grasped his elbow. Zayn was confused.

"Uhm... You don't want my hand?"

"No." He said. "It's not that I don't want it. Technically, this is the way it's supposed to be done. So that you're always one step ahead of me. It's just that you grabbed my hand on the first day and so... I went with it and I let you do it. But it only happened twice so I didn't think it was important to correct you then."

Zayn turned hot in his face. "Oh. I didn't know that. I wish you had told me earlier. How many other things have I done wrong that you haven't told me about?"

"Um, I can't remember right now."

"Well, if there's something else that you notice I'm doing wrong, please don't hesitate to tell me. Because it defeats the purpose of helping you if I'm doing it wrong."

"Sure, Zayn. I'll tell you."

"Thanks." He faced the sidewalk in front of him now. "Come on, let's go then. But watch your step. The curve to the sidewalk is right here in front of you."

Harry was carful about stepping up on the curve and let Zayn guide the way. After walking for a brief moment, he realized they hadn't gone inside a building yet. They were still outside and they were still on the sidewalk. But not too far ahead of him, he could hear children's laughter and people talking. It confused him.

"Alright Harry. This is it. I'm going to help you sit down now."

Zayn helped him sit and when Harry discovered it was a bench, he was able to guess where they were. He smiled. "Zayn."

"Yeah?"

"Are we at the playground?"

He shouldn't have been surprised that Harry guessed it because Harry was smart. But he couldn't help himself. He was always impressed by him. "Yes." He answered happily. "We are."

"Interesting. But why here?"

He felt Zayn sit down next to him. "Because yesterday I went out to eat with Maitea and took Louis along and it made me remember something you said. You told me you wanted to get out more so I figured this would be the perfect way to do that while also helping you to learn the colors. I bet going outside of the house and going places might even be better at helping you remember."

Harry pressed his elbow into his thigh and his fist against his face. "We will see, won't we."

"We will. Now let's get started."

Zayn retrieved his phone from his pocket but he noticed that Harry suddenly wasn't as happy as he was just a moment ago. Why did he suddenly change his mood like that?

"Today's color is yellow."

"M'kay."

"And I decided that instead of going with our two colors a day routine, we should cover the entire section of yellow today. But it's not a bunch more than normal. It's only three total."

"Okay. Let's do it."

He looked at the screen for the notes he'd written earlier. "When I was looking at this, I was surprised to find that yellow could mean so many things. But I'm summarizing it because it's just too much to try to remember in one sitting. I hope that's alright with you."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. It's often associated with food and doesn't suggest stability and safety. However, the most interesting thing I read here was that men usually perceive yellow as a very lighthearted, 'childish' color."

"Why is that interesting?"

"Because I don't disagree with that."

"You don't?"

"No. I don't. But don't be mistaken. I don't hate the color or anything. I just wouldn't choose it first if I had a choice."

"Ah, I get it. I mean, I don't understand completely because I can't see it with my eyes but you know. That is your opinion."

"Right. And I'm sure many other people would say just the opposite of what I said. So that's a good thing about having variety. We can choose whatever we like best."

"Yep."

He looked down at the phone again. "There are many different colors of yellow in the world but this site only lists two of them. They are Dull Yellow and Light Yellow."

"Dull Yellow? Well, I know I can't see the color, but that can't be too appealing. Whenever I use the word _dull_  to describe my day or the past week I've had, that's a negative thing. Dull yellow must be an ugly color."

Zayn chuckled. "Well, I'm not sure if ugly is the perfect adjective but unappealing definitely works for it because Dull Yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy.

"But don't forget that jealousy can be an ugly trait. There are some people who think jealousy is attractive in a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife, but I for one am not a fan of it. It's not good to have an extremely jealous partner. It doesn't make for a healthy relationship."

"You're right. It doesn't."

"Have you ever had a jealous partner before?"

He shook his head but remembered Harry couldn't see, so he spoke up. "No. Never. And I don't want one."

"Same here."

His answer made Zayn think of Mitchell. He didn't know much about him but so far, he had learned that he wasn't jealous, that he was really romantic with Harry and that he even wanted to go as far as loving Harry. He seemed like a really good man but he wished he knew more about him because that would give him a better idea of what sort of guy Harry was attracted to.

But wait... Why would he care what kind of guy Harry liked. He wasn't trying to be in a relationship with him. Was he?

He shook the thought from his brain.

"Let's move on to the last one. Light yellow is associated with intellect, freshness, and joy. So there you already can tell that it's a happier color compared to Dull Yellow."

Harry chuckled a little bit. "Yes it sounds like a fun color."

"In a way, it is."

"And what does yellow mean to you?"

He waited to collect his thoughts before responding. "Besides a refreshing glass of lemonade, yellow is like a new day to me. And it truly does have the affect of making people happy when they see it. Obviously, we know that it also helps us get certain nutrients we need like vitamin D to keep us healthy and happy. But sometimes when it rains for three days straight and we don't get any sun, it makes people feel sad and depressed. That's even happened to me."

"Really?"

"Yes. The sun is like an antidote for sadness."

"Then that is a perk for being blind then. I can't see rainy days or sunny days. And I don't know what darkness and light is either so not having daylight doesn't affect me."

"I've never thought about it like that but yes. I would surely consider that a perk for you."

As Harry was about to say something else, someone suddenly bumped into his leg and stopped.

"Sorry."

He was surprised to hear a little boy's tiny voice. "Oh, are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm Ren. What's your name?"

"Harry."

"You want some, Harry?"

"Some of what?"

"My cheese crackers."

Harry heard him rattle a bag but he gave him a light shake of his head. "No thanks. I bet your parents want you to eat your own crackers. Don't you think?"

"Um..."

"Ren! What did I tell you about running off like that?" A woman's voice said as she came near.

"I wanted to share my crackers, ma." He said.

"No. I'm not going to keep telling you to stay near me. It's dangerous to run off. And if you do it again, we're just going to leave early and go home."

"No." He whined.

"Then go back over there with Auntie Liz and your brother."

He heard the boy stomp away and she sighed. "I'm so sorry. I keep telling him not to run off, but he just has so much energy. Wants to go around and meet everybody. You know how kids are."

Harry smiled. "That's alright. He didn't disturb us."

"Okay. I hope not. Well, you two enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too."

After she left, Harry leaned back against the bench. "I just figured out why you brought me here." He chuckled out.

"You did?"

"Yep. At the beginning, you said that the color yellow represents sunshine, happiness and energy. And I couldn't think of a better place where those kind of things would be all at once other than at a playground."

Zayn was delighted to hear that. When he first came up with the idea last night, he worried that Harry would think it didn't make any sense. "Yes. Exactly. But would you say it'll help you to remember this color later?"

"I would. And besides that, whenever we finish, I still get to enjoy the people around me and listen to the kids having a good time. This is something we should do again some time."

"You mean just because we can?" He questioned. "Do it for fun?"

"Mhm."

"I agree. We should."

He shoved his phone in his pocket and leaned back against the back of the bench too. It would be nice to bring Harry here just to enjoy the children and good weather. It would make for an interesting date one day too... If he wanted to go in that direction with him. But of course Zayn would never.

"Hmm."

At first, Zayn panicked because he thought Harry could hear this thoughts. But the look on Harry's face actually meant he was also deep in thought. What was he thinking about? Was it anything like what he'd just thought about?

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just thinking about that little kid who came over here. His mother was worried about him. Makes me wonder about my own mother."

Zayn paused for a moment. Wait... It wasn't until now that he realized he had never heard anything about Harry's parents before. Only his grandmother. "Oh. I see."

"I don't know what I'm missing since I never met her. But I can't help but wonder what she was like. How did she look? How did she sound? I heard she could sing well. Would've been great to hear her voice."

Zayn wasn't one to be nosy. He didn't even like to be bothered with his own problems, so why would he care about anyone else's? But the way Harry had chosen his words sparked interest in him. He didn't expect Harry to go into great detail about his life and family, but it didn't stop his curiosity.

"What happened to her?"

"She died. Grandma told me another driver drifted in her lane and went head on with her and she was seriously injured. At the time, she was pregnant with me. She bled out too much so they weren't able to save her. Therefore, I didn't have a choice but to be born. I was born three and a half months premature and spent so many months in the hospital. Unfortunately, even though doctors did all they could, I didn't develop far long enough to live without any birth defects. My blindness is the result of my premature birth."

Zayn felt numb inside. That was awful and what was worse, Harry was only blind because of someone else's poor decisions. "Harry... I'm so sorry."

"No. Don't be. Please don't feel sorry for me when I'm not even feeling sorry for myself. I never knew her so I can't even properly shed a tear. I just wonder. That's all. Just like you sometimes wonder about life, I wonder about that."

Zayn swallowed the lump in his throat. "But no wonder you're so positive. It makes sense that your grandmother believed you could do anything. You're a fighter and because of it, you survived a really premature birth. If you can do that, you certainly can do anything. I mean after hearing that, I don't have anything to complain about. And if you ever hear me say I can't do something again, you should really slap me as hard as you can and bring me back to reality."

That made Harry laugh. "No, no. I couldn't hurt you. And even more so, it takes a lot of work to find your face." He looked as if that had given him an idea now. "But... I would like to know what it feels like. Can I touch it?"

Zayn didn't have to hesitate because he already knew what his answer was going to be. But he did take extra time anyway just to keep things from being so obvious. "Sure. I don't mind."

Harry reached over toward him and first touched his shoulder so that he could work his way up to his face. He had poked a couple of people in the eyes by going right for the face in the past. He learned his lesson and definitely did not want to hurt anybody again. To begin, he touched Zayn's neck and then grazed his finger tips up and along his jawline.

"Oh. Sometimes I forget you said you have a beard. I like it."

Zayn perked up. "You do?"

"Yes. Obviously, I've never been able to grow facial hair like this but I like yours. It's soft."

"Thanks."

He used both hands now and touched his cheeks, then used this thumb to gently touch his bottom lip and press it in the way that some people do when they're thinking about kissing someone. From there, he went up the sides of Zayn's face and pushed his fingers into his hair, while dragging his palms along his temples.

"Your hair is kind of long. I didn't expect that." And just because, he innocuously pulled at tufts of hair.

Zayn grinned hard. "You like it?"

"A little bit. It's fun to play in. I do this to Mindy's hair all the time when we're in bed next to each other at sleepovers. It's comforting."

Harry took his hands from his hair and it was only then that Zayn realized he had been gradually leaning closer. But not to kiss him. He was leaning closer because he was hoping being closer meant that Harry didn't have to reach up as much and therefore, would do it longer. But that didn't work.

"You think playing in people's hair is comforting. Odd." He said. And he didn't make an effort to draw back either. "I thought having your hair played in is what was considered comforting."

"So you're saying that was comforting to you, then?"

"Not at all. I didn't say that."

"You didn't make me stop though."

"No."

"So you liked it." He stated.

"Pssh. No. I didn't stop you because _you_  liked it."

"Uh huh. Sure."

"You do. You just said it."

Instead of feeling around first, Harry reached right for his face this time. And rather than slap him, he playfully pushed against his cheek and turned his face away from him. But Zayn resisted that and pressed his face against Harry's hand. When Harry felt his beard against his palm again, he grasped Zayn's chin to hold him in place.

"So, are you ever going to tell me who Maitea is?"

That caught Zayn off guard and he frowned. "What?"

"Maitea. Who is she?"

"Whoa. First, how do you know her?"

He pulled his hands away from Zayn. "I don't. You mentioned her earlier but you only said you went to lunch with her and left it at that. So of course I'm curious."

Now he finally sat up straight again. He didn't remember mentioning her. And if he did, that was an accident. "Oh. She's a friend of mine. I met her at a restaurant and bar a couple months back. But we only went out as friends and that's all we are."

"So she's not your girlfriend?"

"No."

"But do you like her at all?"

"Yes. I mean no. Well, I did. Or at least I tried to. But right now, I like her only as a friend. It's... It's complicated. I don't know. I'll shut up." Weirdly enough, even though Zayn had done nothing wrong, he still felt like he was. He didn't want Harry to get the wrong idea about them. Even if he wanted there to be, there was nothing between them.

"You don't have to shut up. I didn't ask who she was because I don't think you should have feelings for her. Curiosity just got the best of me. If I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

"You didn't." He answered but he found it weird that Harry didn't seem as sincere about what he said regarding how he should feel towards Maitea. That was strange. "Wanna go for a walk with me?"

Harry hesitated. "Um, didn't you say you wanted to go for a smoke while we were here?"

He scoffed inwardly. Since he failed to find the cigarettes yet again today, he only had one for every day this week... Again. So he might as well wait until he got home later tonight and smoke one then. "Yes. I did. But I changed my mind. I'd much rather take a walk by the plaza and see what's inside the shops on this street. A lot of places are new since I first went off to college."

Harry shrugged. "Well, then okay. I don't mind." He got up without any help and Zayn got up too.

"Would you like my elbow?" Zayn asked with a bright smile, even though he knew Harry couldn't see it.

"Yes. Yes, I would. Thank you, kind sir."

Harry felt for his elbow but instead of only grasping it with his hand like last time, he linked theirs together all the way.

Zayn started to walk. "Alright, we're walking but try not to outrun me. I have a hard enough time keeping up with you at your place as it is."

That statement immediately made Harry's day. He knew he could never out walk Zayn when he didn't even know where he was going but to hear Zayn say that was refreshing. It was as if Zayn had forgotten he had a disability. "I'll try but I can't promise you anything."

Zayn was going to respond but Harry had leaned his ear against his shoulder and he was afraid that Harry would have to raise his head to reply. So he chose not to. He knew he spent an entire day wondering if he flirted with Harry over their phone call but what about this? They were going for a walk together, with linked elbows and Harry lying against his shoulder the same way Heidi used to. Wouldn't this be considered a date?

Maybe not to Harry and really, it wasn't one to Zayn yet either. But at least he could get an idea of what it would be like. At least he could see how comfortable or uncomfortable this would be for them. Because it was official. He did actually like Harry in a way he never thought he could like him. Now he just had to see if he would ever stop being chicken long enough to do something about it.


	16. You Never Know...

"Are you okay?" Louis asked when he saw Zayn standing outside the pet shop with his hands in his jean pockets.

"I think so."

"Well, I have to ask. Asking me to meet you after work is strange. Can't lie and say it doesn't scare me to, cause I feel like it's about me."

"Sorry." Zayn huffed. "I'm not trying to scare you and it's not about you either. Do you think we could go inside the home decor store and talk? I need a hallway rug."

Louis lowered his shoulders in defeat. "Fine. After I go put my things in my car. Wait here."

While Louis put his backpack in the car, Zayn waited for him at the entrance. He couldn't believe he was about to explain to Louis the things that had been happening lately when he didn't even want him to know about Harry just yet. But Louis was the only person he trusted with this sort of new information. And even now, Zayn was terrified he might take it in the wrong way.

"Okay." Louis said and he was out of breath because he came rushing back. "What do you want to talk about?"

Zayn went in through the doors. "About me. I'm in a situation I've never been in before and I need advice."

Louis was shocked that Zayn came to him of all people. What was it that Zayn felt he was equipped enough to handle. "Oh. Well, I'm happy to help. What can I do?"

Zayn tried to be careful in choosing his words in the beginning. "Since I've moved back, I've met someone whom I've come to know as a really good person inside and out. At first, I was just really curious about them because they were so interesting and different. But as I really got to know them, I know that I want something more. Maybe a relationship. The thing is, I'm nervous about saying anything because it's so new."

Louis put his hands behind his back and let a smile play on his face. "Zayn, I'm proud of you. I didn't know you had met someone. That's amazing. What is she like?"

He would've carried on with the "she" pronoun to make it easier on himself but he also would've felt guilty misleading him. "I didn't say it was a girl."

"But is it?"

He took a moment to say it. "No."

Louis stopped what he was doing and quickly pulled him into the nearest aisle. "Well, if it's not a girl, that means it's a boy. Another man. Right?"

He nodded and Louis brought his arms to the front of his body so he could fold them.

"Wow. That's... Something. I never expected you to say that."

"You don't feel different about me, do you?"

"No. Of course not. You can like whoever you want. But... If you're talking about me, I've already told you, I'm not into you like that. I'm into girls and only girls, Zayn."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "It isn't you that I like. It's someone else."

"You're not saying that just because I rejected you, right? Because you did seem pretty offended after that whole Maitea ordeal when I said I wouldn't date you."

He laughed. "Well, a lot of people would date their best friend because it's someone they know and trust, regardless of gender. So yeah, I did wonder why you were so sure. But I assure you I'm not talking about you, Lou. I'm talking about my next door neighbor."

"Next door neighbor. Hmm, that's spicy. How did you actually meet him?"

"When I went outside for a smoke one night. He came out of the house to take out the garbage and I was really rude to him."

Louis was confused. "That's what made you like him? Because you were rude?"

"No. I apologized to him the next day. I bought him candles and took them to him."

Louis snickered. "You bought a man candles."

Zayn frowned. "It's not funny, Lou. He's blind. So I tried to get him a gift that he can still be able to enjoy even if he couldn't see it."

Louis wiped the smile off of his face. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know he was blind. So... You talk to him often?"

Zayn reached toward a shelf where there were lanterns of different designs and picked up a plain one made of tin. "I do. He asked me to teach him about colors because he feels like he doesn't know enough about them. So I do that with him some days. But it's not one sided. He's also teaching me how to use my sense of touch to do things I otherwise would never do. You should see how he feeds himself. I'm still waiting for him to show me how he cooks his food."

Louis saw him smiling and it made him smile too. "Well, you definitely know that you like him. But do you know if he likes you back?"

He thought about the day they went to the playground. He couldn't stop thinking about the way Harry was huddled against him the entire time they walked. He could've sworn only people who liked each other did those things but he didn't want to assume anything because it could've been that Harry was just really comfortable with his assistance and stayed close since they were out in public. "I don't know. He's gay. But that never means anything. And I can't read him either." He sat the lantern down in its place and looked at Louis with a look of defeat. "And that's the problem. I don't want to be rejected. I don't want to look like a fool. Not again."

Louis chuckled and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "But how can anyone ever reject you? You're the least prideful guy in the world, you're good looking and you're sort of funny even though everyone knows you're never trying to be. Yes, I know I said I wouldn't date you but that's only because I'm not into that kind of relationship. But the guy you like is and I can't see how he would just knowingly reject you. How could anyone who likes men reject you? It just doesn't make sense."

"Tell that to Heidi."

"Trust me, I wish I could but she's old news now and the difference between her and the guy you like is that he obviously likes you for you and wants you around. She had that opportunity as well, but chose to be a bitch instead." He shrugged but Zayn shook his head.

"Don't call her that. I mean, what she did was wrong but I still loved her."

Louis waved a hand around as he spoke. "Listen, man. It's time to forget about her and move on. But before you completely move forward, the only thing I suggest is you make sure you've spent enough time considering more than just what you feel for him right now. You have no idea what it's like to be sexually intimate with another man. What if you don't like it? What if it makes you uncomfortable? You should really think about that because even if he does like you, you'll hurt him if you realize too late that you don't want to be that intimate with him."

Zayn shook his head at the mere thought of hurting Harry. But Louis was right. Even while he was feeling like this all that time, kissing Harry never came up as a thought, yet alone all the other things that came with being in a relationship. "I get what you're saying. I do. And I don't want to hurt Harry."

"Then I would advise you to spend a little more time with him and really think about what it could mean. See if you really want to be with him, or if you're just simply attracted to the idea."

"And if I do want to be? You say you don't care who I like but what would you think of me if I actually do enter into a relationship with him?"

Louis pulled him closer to him and draped an arm around his shoulders. "You'd still be my best friend. Nothing will change. And besides, if you do, that just means there's more girls left for me."

"How many do you think are out there with a high tolerance for your weird love of rats?"

"Lots of them. I just have to be in the right place."

Zayn smiled apprehensively. "I really do hope you find someone who likes those little creatures as much as you do. I really do."

"Aw thanks, Zayn." He said and he playfully pulled Zayn's ear but he did it a bit too hard.

Zayn jerked away and rubbed at his ear. "Ouch! On second thought, I hope Peanut bites you when you get home."

Louis laughed out loud at that. "See what I mean, Zayn? Funny without even meaning to be."

➡➡➡

Zayn had just finished mowing his yard and gone inside for the evening. If it wasn't for the fact that he saw Liam mowing Harry's yard yesterday, he wouldn't have even thought to do it. As a matter of fact, this was something he really didn't want to do and if he hadn't seen Liam, he'd still be going in and out of the house, conveniently choosing not to notice how badly his yard needed to be mowed. And that would not be a good thing because it would mean that he'd be the only house on the block with an unkept yard.

As he'd taken off his shoes and tossed them to the side, his cellphone rang. He retrieved it from his pocket and was surprised to see Harry's name on the caller ID. He quickly answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello, Zayn."

"Hey. What's up?"

"Nothing. I heard your lawnmower cut off about ten minutes ago and I figured you were finally done with mowing your yard for good."

He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Yeah. I'm finally done. But how did you know it was me?"

"The lawnmower sounded close so I just guessed."

"Ah. Well, you guessed right."

"So... I'm sure you're probably wanting to take a shower."

"Yeah, I was just about to. And then after that, I guess I'll get myself something cold to drink so I can rehydrate myself."

"Right... Well, um. I know you didn't expect me to call, but I wanted to see what your plans were for tonight?"

Zayn furrowed his brow. Why did Harry want to know that? "Nothing besides what I just told you. Why?"

"Because I made dinner. More than enough, really. But if you wanted to come by... You could."

"For dinner, you mean?"

"Yes. But only if you want to. You don't have to come because I asked."

Zayn chuckled. "I don't have to. But I do want to. That sounds fun."

"Really?"

"Sure. Why not? I'd just be here at home by myself anyway."

He could hear Harry's excitement through the phone. "Okay. Well, take your shower and come on over. And if you're still wanting something cool and refreshing to drink, I've got fruit punch for us. Okay?"

"Okay. Sounds good. See you in thirty minutes or so."

"Bye Zayn."

"Bye Harry."

When Zayn hung up the phone, he quickly rushed to the bathroom for his shower. He was about to eat dinner with Harry and it didn't come on day when he was teaching him colors or searching for cigarettes? This was just dinner. What was he supposed to do with that?

This might have been the fastest he ever showered, aside from the day he got the call and realized he was bringing a child into the world, so it was apparent that he was very excited about being invited over. But now he was trying to figure out what he should wear.

He was well aware that whatever he wore, Harry couldn't see it. But that didn't matter. It would still be nice to look nice and at least he'd feel good. But he didn't want to be overly dressed either, so he only settled on black jeans and a black button down. Black was mysterious enough and tonight was definitely a mystery. So he could say he was dressed for the occasion.

When he was finished, he spritzed himself with cologne once, snatched up his phone and blindfold and headed out of the door. He would've tracked across the grass this time, freshly cut grass would not look good on his shoes so he changed his mind and took the long way up to Harry's door.

About a minute after he rang the doorbell, Harry's voice came in through the intercom.

"Zayn?"

"Yes. It's me."

The door opened and Zayn saw Harry in the ugliest pink shirt he'd ever seen. There was a huge lion embroidered on the front of it but wherever there was supposed to be the lion's mane, it was loose thread sewed on to imitate fur. He wore some old blue jeans with it and his red sunglasses. Clearly Harry wasn't trying to dress special for him. He didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Come in." Zayn walked in and when Harry heard him walk by, he closed the door and locked it and turned on a nearby light for Zayn. When he got a whiff of Zayn's cologne, he smiled. "Everything is ready, so go wash your hands. Turn on whatever lights you need."

"Um, I brought my blindfold tonight. Do you want me to eat with it on?"

"No, you don't have to. Only if you want to."

Zayn went back to the bathroom and by the time he came out, dinner was on plates and on the table. His fruit punch was in a glass. "Looks delicious."

"Thank you. I hope you enjoy."

"I'm sure I will, as always." Just because he wanted to, he helped Harry sit down in his chair.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Also, thanks for saying yes to dinner. Sometimes it's nice to eat with someone instead if by myself. Mindy and Liam stayed for dinner yesterday after Liam finished mowing the lawn and it was fun. I wanted to invite you but I didn't know how busy you were. But today I just said _oh well, if I never ask, I'll never know."_

Zayn nodded. "Well, I'm glad you thought of me. That was really nice of you."

"Of course, Zayn."

Unexpectedly, despite the great start, dinner was actually silent. Zayn felt like it must've been because Harry was really concentrating on eating. But he had talked before through dinner. It didn't make much sense that he was quiet this time around. But he guessed that was okay. At least he got to sit and stare at Harry. And even still, Harry couldn't see how he looked at him. So that was easing to him.

When they were done eating, Harry was back talking again as if eating in silence hadn't been unusual. "Do you have to go home right now?" He asked.

"No. I'm in to hurry. Why?"

"We could listen to a little bit of TV together then. Do you want to?"

Truthfully, Zayn did wonder what it would be like to just listen to the TV. He never just listened to entire episodes or movies before and would love to stay just to try something new. But even more than that, he was eager to spend time with Harry. Besides, wasn't that what Louis told him to do anyway?

"I would not mind doing that at all and for good measure, I'm going put my blindfold on and experience this with you."

"Oh." Harry said with interest evident in his voice. "Are you trying to impress me?"

"Is it impressive?"

"A little. Considering you nearly die when you have to go searching for cigarettes with that thing on."

Zayn poked his lip out and followed him into the living room, as he put the blindfold on and let it smack against his forehead. "It's frustrating because it takes so long and I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm looking."

"It's supposed to be frustrating. If it was easy, how would you learn to quit? And shouldn't you be able to handle frustration by now? You went to college. I heard that it's nonstop frustration there."

Zayn chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Um.. actually... I quit college so.. that's not exactly helping your case."

Harry titled his head sideways but sat down on the floor in front of the couch. "You quit?"

"Yep."

"Why? Was school that hard?"

Zayn drug his way over to Harry and sat down on the floor next to him. "No. It wasn't school that was hard. School was alright. I was just gullible and I ended up embarrassing myself big-time."

"And what's wrong with embarrassment? When is it ever so bad that you need to quit your education?"

"Probably never. But I couldn't take it. I went through the worst heartbreak I could imagine going through."

Harry opened his mouth slowly. He was putting pieces together from their past conversations and figuring out what he could be referring to. "Oh. You mean Heidi, right? The girl you don't like anymore."

"Yeah. Her."

"What happened?"

"Um..."

"Unless you still don't want to tell me, then that's okay."

If Harry had been anyone else, Zayn would've agreed to move on to something else. But Harry had been so sweet about it from the beginning and he was sure Harry really wanted to know why he was so indifferent to romance that night on the phone.

"Okay. I'll tell you. But only because I trust you with it. So that means this isn't something you can share with anyone else."

Harry nodded and Zayn sighed.

"I went up to college three years ago and about a month after I got there, I met Heidi. Right from the start, we hit it off and I could tell she was into me the same way I was into her. It wasn't just her though, she had a couple guy friends that were in her friend group, so we all often hung out and since I had never had a girlfriend before, that allowed me to take my time before getting into the relationship.

"But finally we did start dating and things were going so great for us. I grew to love her and she grew to love me. Then after a year of us dating or so, I started noticing that things between us weren't so great anymore. She was sort of distant. And even her friends who had now become my friends were acting really weird around me. I asked her about it and she said that nothing was wrong and that it was actually me who was acting strange and that they were acting weird because they weren't sure how to act around me.

"I guessed she was probably right because I was missing my family a little bit and plus I was working a lot to pay for my living space whenever I wasn't at school. So I didn't think anything of it. Then one day, I woke up and got a call from Heidi. She was all hysterical in a good way and finally told me she was pregnant."

He could hear Harry gasp but he didn't say anything.

"I remembered us sleeping together without protection so I didn't have a doubt that it was mine. Therefore, I couldn't help but be excited. I knew that I'd still be in school when she had the baby so I was thinking about staying up there long term with her and not moving back home when I finished with college. I told my parents and they were excited too but also not all that happy about it because they knew they'd see me less. But I didn't care. I was ready. I had prepared my mind and even said that I would stop smoking for the good of the baby and for Heidi.

"But things didn't work out the way that I had planned them to. One day, Heidi asked me if I wanted to go out with her. And I said yes because she had finally stopped having morning sickness and I knew she wanted to go out and do something. We had ourselves a proper date. We went out to dinner and afterwards, we went for a nice long walk together. Stuff that couples do when they want to be romantic. And yes, I was actually into romantic things then."

Harry chuckled. "I see."

"But after a romantic night, we decided that she would spend the night with me at my place. So we went there. but when we got to the front door, we noticed that it was broken in. I was really worried so I had her wait outside while I went in just to make sure nobody was still inside. Nobody was, but they had taken everything I had. And when I say everything, I mean the only thing they really left me was my furniture and my clothes and little knick-knack stuff. But all my electronic things like my TV, my radio, my microwave, that was all gone. I didn't have anything."

Harry reached out and put his hand on his shoulder." I'm sorry, Zayn."

"Ah, it's okay. And at the time, that's exactly what I told Heidi. Sure, I was hoping we'd have all those things so that there was less money we had to worry about spending when we moved in together but that just meant I had to start all over again with my plans. The main thing was that all three of us were safe. Things are replaceable. Human life is irreplaceable."

"Yes. True. And what about your things?"

"Unfortunately, after the police investigated and investigated, they didn't turn up with anything. They never found the thieves or our stolen items." Zayn huffed out loud. "But they didn't have to. Because sometime later, Hiedi and I went over one of her friend's house to smoke because at the time, I hadn't fully committed to quitting yet. As I was passing one of the rooms in his house, I noticed a radio on the dresser that looked like the one that I used to have before it was stolen. I didn't want to label him a thief right away because I was sure the company made more than one radio like that. But I did go in the room to examine it closer just to have peace of mind."

Harry pulled a knee up to his chest. He was so intrigued by Zayn's story.

"I knew that the volume button on my radio was chipped because I had dropped it when I was moving to college. So that's what I went and looked for. And just as mine was, the volume button on the radio in that room was chipped. When I saw that, I knew that it could not have been a coincidence anymore, so I grabbed Heidi and we both got out of there. I took her home and told her what I had seen and I was expecting her to maybe bring it to their attention or to suggest we call the police. But instead, she got mad at me. She said that I was just being paranoid and that it was possible that we both owned one like that. She was so mad at me for accusing her friends of stealing that she even threatened to break up with me."

"She did?"

"Yes. And it was really suspicious to me because we both had planned to use those things in the new home that we were talking about sharing in the future. But she didn't seem like she cared at all. So I called my parents and asked them what I should do. They told me that I should watch her closer and find out what was going on. Because it was possible that she could be in on it."

"Was she?"

"At first, I didn't want to believe it. Because why in the world would the mother of my child do this to me? But the more that I thought about it, she was the one who suggested we go out that night when my place was broken into. And prior to that, they all had been acting really strange around me. So I finally decided to be brave enough to call her and talk to her.

"She did come over and I sat her down and explained to her the feeling that I was getting about her friends but I made sure to leave her out of it. Not surprisingly, she was still really upset with me. Right away, she just started yelling and cursing at me. So I yelled back and then eventually we just got into a yelling match. As I was trying get her to understand why I didn't think her friends could be trusted, she suddenly blurted out that the baby wasn't mine."

Harry gasped. "What?"

"I know. That was my exact reaction. I just stood there looking at her because I couldn't believe that she would say something like that. So I asked her to repeat herself and she did. When I asked her what she meant, she told me that one of our friends was the real father. She bragged about cheating on me for some time and how when she found out she was pregnant she came over and slept with me so that I would think it was mine."

"I can't believe it. That's awful." Harry said.

Zayn lowered his head and shook it. "I was so stunned that I didn't know what to do with myself after that. I loved her too much to go any further about the break-in because if she was in on it, she could go to jail and the father of her baby would go too. After that, I had to call my parents and tell them what happened. It was the most embarrassing experience of my life and I knew that it would get worse if I had to face Heidi and her friends. So the first chance I got, I dropped out and I moved back home. I still can't believe I let myself be fooled by the people I called my friend and girlfriend. I was so stupid and gullible. I thought she loved me but all she loved was taking advantage of me."

"She really broke your heart, didn't she?"

Zayn looked down at him and was sort of speechless because Harry was facing him directly and it was almost as if Harry could see him right there. "She did." He mumbled out.

"Well, now that I've heard your story, I understand why you quit and came back home. Betrayal is a terrible and I'm sorry that it happened to you. But I'm not sorry that you're here. I like that you're back home."

Zayn slowly smiled. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Because then who would teach me colors?"

"I'm sure I'm not the only one in the world who's capable of that."

"Except it was you who explained the color pink to me and made me want to know more in the first place. Don't you remember when we were looking for a pink comforter in the home decor store?"

He nodded. "Yes, I remember. But you didn't need me after that. You could've had anybody teach you colors. You're so smart and you're learning fast. You are an Ace, pretty much."

Harry giggled close mouthed. "An Ace."

"You are. I should call you that. It makes for a cool nickname."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "No matter what you call me, I still like you as my teacher. And I think you like me too, or else I would not have cheered you up by simply changing the subject to colors."

Zayn smiled even though the loose use of the L word caught him off guard. "Um, a hideous shirt like the one you're wearing can cheer anybody up."

Harry laughed out loud. "Hey, this lion is a blind man's dream on a shirt, okay?"

Zayn reached over and tugged at the loose threads. "A blind man's dream but everyone else's nightmare, I suppose."

Okay, that wasn't completely true. The shirt may have been hideous but Harry still looked so damn adorable in it.

"You're not being honest."

"How so?"

"Because if it was so hideous, you wouldn't have your hands on it. You'd be repulsed by it."

Zayn drew his hand away and that made Harry tilt his head back with a laugh.

"You're funny."

"Funny like _'haha, your personality is pure comedy'_  or funny like _'hey, you're so weird I can't help but laugh at you'?_

"A little bit of both." He replied honestly. "But I like it."

"Good. I like that you like it."

"And I like that you like that I like it."

"You don't expect me to continue this chain, do you?"

Harry grinned into the air and unhesitatingly leaned on Zayn so that his chin rested on his shoulder. "No. But I know that you like that I like that you like that I like it."

Zayn scoffed and was going to scold him for even going through the trouble of saying all of that. But Harry was talking in his ear and mindlessly carding his fingers through his hair and he'd just realized that neither of those things made him uncomfortable at all. They were close. So close that if he really wanted to, he could've kissed him without putting up any extra effort at all. How was it that he wasn't silently trying to figure out how to get away?

"So are you going to tell me how you came to have owned that ugly shirt? Zayn asked.

"Hmm, yes. Basically, I was with Mindy when she suggested we go to the mall...."

Harry began to tell his story and Zayn listened carefully to every word. When that story was done, they moved on to another conversation and when that one was done, they moved to another one. Instead of turning on the TV, they ended up sitting on Harry's living room floor, talking for a couple more hours, all the way up till midnight. That was when Harry yawned and showed the first sign of getting sleepy. So Zayn had been the one to stop their mumbling conversation and got ready to make his way back home.

"Once again, thanks for dinner. Everything was tasty. But one day, I want to watch you make dinner so I can see how you do it. I think you're being slick and making sure I never get to see it on purpose."

Harry hummed sleepily. "Not true. I do want to show you. But only when I feel like it. So you'll have to wait." He yawned again and Zayn remembered why he was now standing outside Harry's doorway in the first place.

"Fine. Until then, I guess."

Harry grabbed the door knob and and pulled the door up some. "Yes. Until then. Goodbye Zayn."

Despite Harry not being able to see it, Zayn nodded once. "Goodnight... Ace."

After that, there was really nothing else left to do but for Zayn to turn away and head on home. He heard the door close and it was only then after not seeing Harry's face anymore that Zayn realized he was really tired too. Only Harry could keep him so engaged that he forgot to be sleepy after a day of hard work.

Zayn smiled to himself. Tonight was all about dinner and conversation, so nobody was really supposed to learn anything new. But tonight, Zayn did learn something. If he trusted Harry enough to tell him his most embarrassing secret, then couldn't he also trust Harry enough to want to be intimate with him in other ways? Couldn't it work like that?

Not that sitting with Harry tonight made him wish he could snuggle with him more often– because it did– and not that Harry's lips were so red from the fruit punch he drank that he imagined he could taste it if he kissed him– because that might've crossed his mind at least once– but after tonight, being intimate with Harry seemed very attainable now. He bet that if he asked Harry to hold him like that again, he'd willingly do it and he bet that if he kissed Harry without telling him first, then Harry wouldn't stop him. What if? What if that was a thing that did happen? Harry as his lovable adorable boyfriend who liked ugly pink shirts with embroidered lions on the front. That would take some getting used to, both for him and everyone else he knew.

As he unlocked his front door and stepped over the threshold, entering the quietness again, he sighed. Perhaps it was time to make it a thing. He'd done what Louis said. He had spent more time with him and now he was giving it careful thought. And though careful thought was important, there could be a thing as too much careful thought.

Tonight felt like it was more than just Harry using his sense of touch. It felt like more than just Harry being the normal touchy feely person he'd always been. It seemed a lot like he actually... _liked him back_. So why think at all? Why not just jump in it with two feet? Why not get his thoughts together now, so that by Saturday he could wake up with all fears aside and tell Harry how he felt?

_Yeah... Why can't I? I'm no chicken._

When he got to his room, he pulled his shirt over his head and fell face down on his bed. He did fear being rejected, but he also knew that he'd been through a lot worse than rejection. And like Harry, he would never know if didn't ever try. He might just have to jump in with two feet and see where it took him. But he could only hope that it wasn't much deeper than he anticipated and that he didn't end up drowning in sorrow in the end.


	17. Green

Three days had passed since that night when Zayn had gone to bed and spent the rest of it thinking about letting Harry know how he felt. Since he hadn't seen him, some of that newfound confidence had decreased dramatically. It wasn't that he didn't like him anymore. He still liked him just as much. He just wasn't so ready to blurt out the truth yet. He'd rather take his time and get there naturally.

So whenever he showed up at Harry's house and was reminded of those thoughts he had just 72 hours ago, he knew he had to disguise his feelings very well. Harry didn't have to know how he looked at him. He didn't have to know how excited he got every time he heard him welcome him into his home.

"Alright. Done. I didn't find anything."

"How are you done?" You just went looking five minutes ago. Why do I get the feeling you're not really looking for those cigarettes anymore?"

Zayn held his hands out and let them fall at his sides. Probably because I'm not."

"Harry stood up from the couch. "Fine, then. If you don't want to look, then we might as well go on and leave for the park. I'll go put my shoes on. You go get the stuff we need and take it outside."

"Okay."

Zayn took his blindfold off of his head and he went into the kitchen. A cooler was sitting on the counter already packed with food and a blanket was folded up underneath it. He picked them both up and took them out to the car. By the time he came back, Harry was there with his shoes on and a key on a clip in his hand.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"Let's go then."

Together, they went outside and after Harry locked the door with his key, he let Zayn guide him to his car. He really didn't need Zayn's help to get from the house to the end of the sidewalk but he wanted it this time and he purposely chose not to remind Zayn he could do it on his own.

"I haven't had a picnic in so long." Harry told him as they pulled off from the side of the curve.

"Me either."

"The last time I picnicked, it was when my grandma took me to the park as a kid, specifically to do that."

"Oh. Nice. I went with my family a few summers ago before Safaa started college. So it wasn't that long ago. We couldn't really enjoy it though because it started to rain. The clouds just came out of nowhere. But then again, that was our fault for planning an outdoor activity without looking at the weather first."

"Yeah. It is. But now I have to ask. Did you look at the weather today?"

"Of course I did. It's supposed to stay sunny all day."

"Good. Because I'm fairly certain that soggy sandwiches would not be a good meal."

"Right."

They laughed about that before sitting back and enjoying the ride. As always the journey to their destination seemed to fly by quickly and the next thing they knew, they were at the park and searching for a place to sit and eat lunch.

"I think we should settle here." Zayn said.

"Here? Where is here?"

"We're in the grass but we're also next to a huge tree and there's a wild rosebush growing next to it."

"Oh. That's sounds nice. Okay. Sure. Are we close anyone?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Just curious. I can hear talking."

"Oh yeah. There's a family a little ways away from us." He sat the cooler on the ground. "Hand me the blanket and I'll lay it out for us."

Harry reached out in the direction of his voice and handed it to him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

He took his time and stretched the blanket out across the grass, making sure the ends were as flat as they could be and then he took the cooler and sat it on the blanket. "And we're ready."

"Now if you can just lead me to my spot, we can get started on today's lesson. And then you can explain why you decided we needed to picnic in order to learn it."

"It makes sense. I promise."

He took Harry's hand and helped him step on the blanket and when he let go, Harry knew that was where he was supposed to sit. So he plopped down where he was. Zayn took his place next him on his left and then retrieved his phone from his pocket. He already had his notes of today's color pulled up so all he had to do was unlock the phone and read what was on the screen.

"So today's color is green. I remember you asked me when we were going to go over this color sometime back."

"Yeah. When I was listening to Holes. I finished that story in a week by the way."

"Nice. Well, finally, we're going to talk about it. And I wanted you to know that as I was reading over it, that was when I came to the conclusion that the park would be the perfect place to learn about it."

Harry leaned back on his hands. "Okay why is that?"

"It's pretty simple, really. Green is the color of nature and out here, nature is all around us. It helps to try to soak up the vibes while we're here. We can feel the grass blades with our fingers and feel the wind in our hair and sun on our face. That's natural. We can even go smell some of the flowers later if you want to."

Harry smiled. Clearly Zayn mentioned those things in a way that would be appealing to the senses he had. That was so considerate of him. "Sounds inviting. So please enlighten me about this exciting color."

"My pleasure. Besides being the color of nature, it symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness and fertility. Plus, it has strong emotional correspondence with safety, unlike red. Dark green is also commonly associated with money. Something everybody loves as we mentioned before."

He smiled. "Yes."

"And to go even further, green is the most restful color for the human eye so that means it's easier to look at without really having any negative feelings. It can mean stability and endurance too."

"Interesting. Hearing you say all that makes me want to make friends with this color. I wish that was possible."

Zayn smiled at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. Green sounds like it would be a good reliable friend."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just think that's interesting. But you might change your mind when I read what a couple of these other specific colors of green are about."

He shrugged. "Well read them and we will see."

Zayn held the phone up to read again. "Dark green is associated with ambition, greed and jealousy while yellow-green can mean sickness, cowardice, jealousy and discord, which is disagreement."

He waited for Harry's reaction now.

"Well, I don't care. I still would want to be friends with green if it were a living thing. I want to be with anything or anyone who makes me feel safe."

"Does that include me?" Zayn asked in a joking manner.

Harry turned in his direction, although he never directly faced him. He looked hurt that Zayn would ask that even if he was joking. "Of course, Zayn."

"Good. Just wanted to know..." He looked at his notes again. "We only have two more colors of green to talk about and then we can eat."

"I'll also want to know something I don't know about you and you can do the same for me."

"Oh. Right. I keep forgetting we always do that."

"Conveniently forgetting."

"True. So we should get this over with before I conveniently forget again."

"Yeah."

He referred to his notes once again.

"So I know it probably seemed like I was trying to break your positivity about green a moment ago. But this should contribute to it because these last two colors are beautiful. Aqua is associated with emotional healing and protection. Olive green is the traditional color of peace. The fact that green is has these type of qualities when it comes to its appeal to humans just amazes me. Because we see green everyday when we go outside. The leaves on trees are green and the grass is green. Most plants are green as well. So I really do wonder how we never get tired of seeing green when we see it all the time."

Harry chuckled. "See? Then I'm not much different than you after all. I don't get tired of seeing green either."

Zayn didn't know why that tickled him so much but it did. He loved Harry's jokes. He always seemed to tell them at the right time. "Good one, Ace."

"Thanks." His face suddenly fell and it was not reminiscent of someone who had just received praise for telling a funny joke. Even more so, he didn't react to his new nickname the same way he did last time. It concerned Zayn.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

But Zayn could tell that he was lying.

"It's alright. You can tell me. I don't care. What's wrong?"

"Well... It's just... You trust me, right?"

He paused and frowned. What sort of question was that? "Trust you? Of course I do."

"And by that, I mean you trust that I trust you. Like you don't go around secretly wondering if I'm always thinking you'll lead me to danger or steal from me just because I'm blind? Right?"

"No, Never. I've never wondered that. Why would you ask?"

"Because of what _you_  asked. You asked if I felt safe around you. I do. But I don't know if I said anything to make you think otherwise."

"Not that I know of. No."

"Not that you know of? When people say that, it usually means they're lying."

"But I'm not."

Harry was silent and tilted his head a bit. His facial expression made it appear as if he was drawing away.

"Harry, I don't really know what you're talking about, because I trust you and I know you trust me. But I feel like you're getting the wrong idea about me, about us and our relationship."

"I am?"

"Yes. You are. I can guarantee I've never felt that way about you."

Harry's eyebrows caved hard. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"But... I don't understand."

"I think you've got it mixed up with how other people treat you. I'm not them."

Harry's heart started to beat fast. He was panicking. "But I thought... I thought you... I could've sworn you were different."

Zayn looked confused. "I am."

Harry was irritated. "But you're not. You hang around me differently but you don't care as much as I thought you did."

"What?"

"You were just pretending? The whole time, none of that was real? How could you do that to me?"

"What?" He asked again because that was all he could think to say. Harry wasn't making any sense.

Harry pouted to himself and he resembled a little child who didn't want to see or talk to anyone.

"Harry."

"No." He said. "Leave me alone."

"I don't get it. What did I do?"

That question lit a fire in Harry and he was mad. "You don't get it?! Well neither do I. I never thought you were the type of person to lead someone on just so you could make them feel bad about what they feel later. You didn't seem like that kind of person." A tear rolled down his cheek from underneath his sunglasses and he sniffled. "I thought you liked me, Zayn. Because I liked you."

Zayn moved closer to him and stood up on his knees then sat back on the heels of his feet. "I do like you."

"Just not the way that I thought."

"I didn't say that."

"But it's true."

"No it's not. That's not true."

"Yes it is. Cause I don't even think you know what I mean. I know you don't."

Zayn really didn't want to argue with him, so he shoved his phone in his pocket and he shut up. That wasn't true. Zayn liked Harry and he liked him more than Harry even knew. How was it that he derived that Zayn didn't like him just because he asked if he felt safe around him? Shouldn't that mean that he cared enough to want to know his standing with him?

He thought that a picnic at the park would be nice for them and that how he felt would be conveyed in some way through the meal they shared. He did not expect it to be the place where they had their first real disagreement.

They sat there quietly and awkwardly and Zayn was just sadly watching the family across the way. Those people were having fun and enjoying themselves. They weren't arguing over something they didn't really understand. So Zayn felt out of place here. And he was sure that if someone was watching them just like he was watching them, they could easily see that as well. So he tried to talk to Harry again.

"Harry."

"No."

"But I'm sorry."

"So? You think saying you're sorry is going to magically make me feel better? Well, you're wrong."

"So are you. I didn't say anything wrong. I thought asking if I made you feel safe was a good thing. I just wanted to make sure that I am not the one to make you feel... Handicapped. That's all. Cause I know your grandma taught you to believe you could do anything and I didn't want to ruin that by being overly helpful. That's what I meant."

"Yeah, right."

"I did. And how can you get mad at me for not trusting that you trust me when you think that I'm lying? Obviously that means you don't trust me."

"You're right!" He spat angrily. "I don't anymore. And for good reason. What did you think that was on Wednesday? You thought I just invited you over for dinner for fun? You think that when we were sitting on the floor talking about what you went through that I was just bored and needed to hear a story? No. I listened because I genuinely cared! I listened because I like you! But you had to go and say you don't feel the same way about me. That's real cute how you play with people's hearts but still expect those same people to feel sorry for you when yours gets broken."

That last statement kicked Zayn in the gut. "Now wait a minute. First of all, I was saying that I never felt like those people who assume that just because you're blind, that you can't do anything on your own. Secondly, I never asked you to feel sorry for me. I only told you those things because I trusted you as a friend. And thirdly, who says you're the only one of us two that likes the other? You didn't even bother to ask."

"Well, maybe because when you spend the whole night as close as we were, then you don't need to ask!"

Zayn scoffed. "Okay then. And I agree as long as you don't assume that I'm leading you on just to reject you again. But if you like me and I like you, what the hell are we even mad about?!"

"I don't know!"

Harry folded his arms and pouted once again. Zayn just sat there wondering what had just happened. Clearly, the truth had just come out and it turned out not to be what either of them thought it was at first. But Harry was still upset. Their miscommunication still left a small rift between them. So what was he to do about that? How would he try to get rid of it?

He spent a lot of time thinking about it but still didn't have an answer. Not until he saw Harry take off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"Whoa."

"What?"

Harry stopped and faced his general direction but Zayn put his hands to his face and turned him toward him. It was the first time he'd ever seen Harry's eyes. They weren't like anyone's he'd ever seen. Unlike where his own eyes were various colors of hazel, honey and black, Harry's were all tones of gray. It was amazing being so up close to them. "I just noticed this is the first time you've ever taken your glasses off around me."

Harry forced his face out of his hands and put his glasses on again. "Okay."

"Why do you wear them? I've always wondered why blind people do that if they can't see light anyway."

"Because my doctor told me to. Just because we can't see light, it doesn't mean it can't affect us. I wear these to protect my eyes from light because they're very sensitive to it. With these on all the time, the UV light and radiation from the sun and indoor lighting can't cause more problems for me. Which is what I want."

"Oh. I see."

"Why did you point that out? Did it make you feel grossed out or something?"

"No, no. Of course not. I just decided to ask because I wanted to know."

"Well, some people say it makes them uncomfortable seeing my eyes because they can't really see them in detail. Apparently I don't have pupils, whatever those are."

Zayn shook his head in disbelief. "What? I can't believe someone said that to you. Whoever told you that is not smart at all." He knew he sounded like a young child when he said that but it was hard to concentrate on choosing words from his expanded vocabulary when he was focusing on Harry and wondering what he would look like if his eyes weren't always hiding behind those sunglasses and he could see his pupils and irises. What color would his eyes be? Would they have been hazel brown like his? There was a great possibility. But he would never know.

"But you know what, I like to think that it's better not to know."

"The color of my eyes, you mean?"

"Anything. Because mystery is sometimes better than knowing. And this kind of mystery is better because you make it whatever you want to make it."

Harry smiled. "True. But what would I want to make it?"

"A color you really like. I don't know. Only you can choose."

"So green?" He asked without hesitation.

Zayn laughed quietly. "Sure. If that's your choice."

Harry, hunched his shoulders cutely and Zayn was able to relax again. The rift had been mended.

"Since we're both smiling again, shall we picnic now?"

"Yes. Let's do it. Hand sanitizer, please."

Zayn plucked the tiny squeeze bottle from his pocket and squeezed a little of it into Harry's hand, as well as his own.

"Hey, Zayn." Harry said to him as he finished disinfecting his hands and had started to unpack the cooler.

"Yeah?"

"Regarding all that mean stuff I said about you earlier, I'm so sorry. Even if you did do the things I accused you of, I still wouldn't have meant what I said. I was just upset."

Zayn put Harry's sandwich in his hand. "I know."

"And I promise I don't think you're that kind of person at all. I guess we should have clarified what we were both talking about. It would have made things much better and would have saved us from the argument we had."

"True. We should have."

"Do you forgive me though?"

"Yes. To tell you the truth, I actually forgave you immediately after you said it."

Harry tilted his head sideways and that told Zayn he didn't believe him. "Impossible."

"How?"

"I said some pretty mean things. I don't know anyone who would forgive that fast. Mindy might not even forgive me so quickly. And she loves me."

"Well now you know me."

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove it. I don't believe you."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know. You're the one who says I know you."

Zayn looked at his hands as if they would tell him what to do. What could he do right now when they were dead in the middle of the park and about to have lunch to prove to this man that he had forgiven him? Then suddenly, he got an idea. He could also use this opportunity to show how he felt about him too. Without thinking twice about it, he stretched forward toward Harry and he leaned in to kiss him on the lips quickly. Perfect. What could be more convincing than a kiss?

But Harry just paused where he was. "Um. What was that?"

Zayn was hesitant. He thought he might've actually overstepped his boundaries and offended Harry. "I–I'm not sure. What did you think it was?"

"A weak kiss. That's what I think it was. I said _prove_  you've forgiven me. Weak kisses prove nothing to me."

Zayn's cheeks turned red and he looked around to see if anyone was watching. His voice lowered. "I mean this is new to me as it is. So if you expect me to give you tongue out here in the open, then you have to teach me something that you can do that I've been wanting to know."

"You're kidding me."

"I'm not, actually."

He wasn't.

"That's rediculous." Harry scoffed and he reached up and felt up Zayn's shoulders to his face. When he found his lips, he leaned forward and he stole a kiss. He didn't wait for Zayn to make the move and give tongue, he did it himself. When he was done, he laughed up into the air. "Now that's how I liked to be kissed. Right away with no pathetic bargaining."

Zayn didn't even realize his eyes were so big as he looked at Harry. He was starting to rethink his stance on the whole _'I'm no chicken'_  thing. Maybe he was one after all. Because even if he did try to kiss a lot better than he did the first time, it definitely wouldn't have been like _that._  "Um..."

Harry felt around for the sandwich he was given and before he could locate it, Zayn tackled him sideways so that the upper part of their bodies were off of the blanket and in the grass just a foot away from the wild rosebush.

"Just who do you think you are, kissing me like that?" He asked.

"Sadly, I'm still not your boyfriend." Harry replied right away. "At least not until you kiss me like that in return."

"That's not fair."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"It is."

Zayn rested his chin on Harry's chest and picked leaves from Harry's hair. "I'm telling you it is not."

"And I'm telling you it is." Harry placed his hand across his stomach and just lay there. It didn't even bother him that the grass was poking him in his back and neck. "Zayn, stop fooling yourself. You're not even ready to kiss me seriously. So you're definitely not ready to call me your boyfriend."

"But it's not because I don't like you. I do. It's only because I've never done anything like this before."

"I know. And that's why you should wait till you're ready. Don't worry, Zayn. I'll be here."

Zayn sat up now. What Harry just said had made him really consider those words. Technically he was saying that he'd wait for him to be ready. If only he could find the words to express how thankful he was for his thoughtfulness. He was sure he would find them later. But what did all this mean for them in the meantime?

"So if we're not really anything to each other, does that mean we have to pretend like the last two minutes didn't happen or something?"

"Do you want to?" Harry asked.

"No."

"Me either."

"Then we won't, I guess."

"Good."

Harry reached up to touch Zayn and pulled lightly at his shirt. The gesture was so soft and gentle and it was pretty obvious that that was Harry's way of letting him know he didn't mind him this close. So Zayn did lie back down. At that point, he smiled and he pressed his ear to his chest. He knew he wondered if he made Harry feel safe earlier but he forgot how safe Harry made him feel in return.

Harry had his way of making him feel comfortable enough to want to do anything for him. He made him want to try things he otherwise would never try and he made him want to take a leap and change for the better. He could honestly say those were things he absolutely adored about Harry and he never wanted to put himself in a position to lose that. Just thinking about not having it almost motivated him enough to give kissing Harry the way the liked to be kissed a try.

Almost. But not quite.

Whether they were together in title or only in each other's fragile hopes, the human being underneath him was so special and unique to the world. Because while Zayn was teaching him about the colors, he wasn't just learning them. He was actually living them. And much to Zayn's own pleasure, it was good to have days like today when he was clearly the sole beneficiary of that.


	18. Bye Bye Nicotine

"Hello?" Zayn heard Harry say into the speaker.

"It's Zayn."

"Oh. Okay. Hold on."

After he heard the click of the intercom, the door unlocked and opened.

Zayn walked right in and held his hands out. "I'm done." He said with a smile.

When Harry got a whiff of the smell on Zayn, he went into a fit of coughs. It took a moment to stop and control himself but finally he did. "Wow, did you just finish smoking or something?" He asked as he closed and locked the door.

"I did."

"I can tell. Don't you usually wait until after you leave here to do that stuff?"

"Yeah but that's the thing. I woke up, I went to work with my dad and as I was standing outside during lunch today, I realized that I don't want to do this anymore. I finally understand how it works."

"How what works?"

"This whole smoking routine. This is the first time I have been forced to pick and choose when to smoke because I didn't have a choice. I can see why you did this and I know how it works. Clearly, I'm supposed to get so frustrated with rationing every week that I decide quitting altogether is better. This time I'm quitting for good and I just smoked my last cigarette."

Harry folded his arms as he listened. "You do know it's not as easy as saying it, don't you? Well, I know you know because you tried once before. But now you're sure you want to quit. So what's your reason this time? What's your motivation not to give up?"

"You."

"Me? Why me?"

"For starters, because you cough like a maniac whenever you come near the smell of smoke." He chuckled out. "And also, if we're taking our time and progressing to something more, then what kind of... partner would I be to you if I kept smoking around you even when I know it bothers you?"

Harry just tilted his head and thought about it. "Okay. I see your point."

"Good. Plus I'm just ready to get it over with for myself as well. I know about the withdrawal symptoms because I had them the first time I tried to quit. But the difference is I think I'm more mentally ready this time. I'm going to do it for real. That's what I wrote down, isn't it? That I will stop smoking."

"It is."

"Right. So then why wait?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly. Me either." He leaned forward and he encased Harry in the tightest hug he could give him without hurting him. "I know when I'm all done that it will be worth it. But it wouldn't even have been a thing I ever truly wanted if it wasn't for you. So thank you."

Harry settled into his touch. "You're welcome."

"Hello, Zayn."

Zayn hurried up and let go of him to put his hands behind his back. "Mindy? What– What are you doing here? I mean. Not what are you doing here. You're here to see Harry, obviously. I just didn't see your car outside."

She chuckled. "Yeah, Liam took it and went to buy a watermelon. They're finally back in stores now."

"Oh. Then I'm just going to go home."

Just as he reached for the doorknob, Mindy stopped him. "Wait. You like watermelon, right?" She asked.

"Um sure."

"Then stay and have some with us. We don't mind. Plus we can all get to know you more. Liam hasn't really had the chance to talk with you like we have."

"That sounds like a good idea." Harry chimed. "All of us, just hanging out as friends, right Zayn?" Harry asked.

Zayn paused and looked at him. Harry just made it a point to tell him they'd only be here as friends. He must've known Zayn was worried that he had told Mindy more than he wanted her to know. Not that he was embarrassed about what happened to Harry because he wasn't. He just didnt know what mindy would think of him if she knew he kissed Harry but hadnt decided to go any further just yet. She might've thought he was just playing with Harry's heart.

"Alright then. I'll stay. That sounds good."

She smiled. "Come on, Harry. Let's go. That hair is not going to finish brushing itself."

At her command, Harry carefully made his way to the living room and sat down on the floor in his favorite spot in front of the couch. Mindy positioned herself on the couch behind him so that he was in between her legs and then picked up the brush.

"I had no idea you were coming over today. Or else I'd have waited." She said.

"That's okay." Zayn replied as he plopped down on the the couch. "I don't care. Watching you brush his hair is cool, I guess."

"If you think that's cool, wait till I'm done. It'll be all fluffy and puffy. He'll look so adorable."

"But to me, it feels weird to touch." Harry countered.

"That's all in your head. So while you imagine things, we're going to continue to brush through it to make sure it doesn't get matted up."

"If course, ma'am ." He said with a grin. "See how she thinks she's my mother, Zayn."

"No I don't. But I do help you take care of yourself. I am your caregiver and I manage your finances. I'm more like your loving sister."

He shrugged. "Eh, I guess you're right about that."

"So what have you two been up to?" She asked, changing the subject on to something new. "I heard you guys went picnicking and learned about the color green."

"We did." Zayn answered.

"How was it?"

"It was good."

"The whole time? How were the people? Sometimes they tend to give Harry funny looks as if they've never seen a blind person before."

He shook his head. "They were fine too although we were away from most of them. We mostly just sat down and ate and enjoyed the breeze. No one bothered us at all."

She seemed surprised. "Wow. That's good then."

"Oh yeah." Harry piped up. "And I forgot to tell you Zayn took me around to different flowers around the park and let me smell them. It was all supposed to be part of us enjoying nature since Green is the color of nature. Did you know that? Did you know green is the color of nature?"

"Based on what I see around me every day, that makes sense. And that's nice that he did that. Zayn is pretty good to you, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you two had fun."

"Me too."

As Mindy returned to brushing Harry's hair, Zayn watched her carefully. She would just pull his hair into sections and brush each one of them one at a time, making sure it was tangle free. For some reason, Zayn kept getting the urge to want to push her away from him and do it himself. What would it be like to play in his hair anyway? Well, it would probably be weird. And not only that, it might cause Mindy to suspect something he wasn't ready for her to suspect yet. So he kept his odd thoughts as just that.

By the time she was done, Harry's hair was fluffy and more beautiful than Zayn had ever seen it before. And Mindy was right. He did look adorable.

"Do you want a ponytail or do you want it free flowing?"

"Ponytail."

"Okay."

She took a rubber band  and tied his hair up quickly. "There. All done.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back." She got up and went out of the living room and Zayn saw that as an opportunity to slide down to the floor and sit next to Harry.

"I didn't know Mindy and Liam were going to be here today." He said. "It caught me off guard when I saw her."

"I know. We decided she should come today since she didn't get to come on Saturday when we went to the park. There were some things I needed to get done and she had to drive me."

"Did you get them done?"

"Yep."

"Good." He pulled his knees up to his chest. "Your ponytail is nice and all. But I like it better when your hair is free flowing."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just because. No reason at all."

Harry blushed and it was so satisfying seeing his cheeks turn red just underneath his sunglasses. It' was soothing in its own way.

"So... I don't know. About that kissing thing that happened on Saturday..."

"Don't worry. I haven't said anything to Mindy and Liam. I know you don't want me to."

"Do you like keeping it a secret though?"

"Actually, I don't consider it a secret. We're only just waiting until the right time which is when you're ready. Besides, just because you can't kiss me the way I like to be kissed yet, it doesn't mean we can't  do other stuff."

"Like holding hands?"

"Sure." He laughed out. "That would be included."

Zayn reached out to grab his hand, just to see what it would be like to hold it in a way that was different from helping him but Mindy game out of the bathroom and he drew away.

"Wonder what's taking Liam so long. He's been gone for twenty minutes already."

Almost as if she had summoned him with those words, Harry's front door opened and in walked Liam. When he saw Zayn, he was pleasantly surprised. And after he put the watermelon down, he even hugged him.

"Zayn, man. Good to see you. You like watermelon?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Have a slice. I also got some chocolate candies if you want some. For some reason, Mindy gets a sweet tooth when she eats watermelon. My fianceé is so weird, I tell ya."

"Shush." She said. "You love me."

"I do. Can't wait to marry you either."

That little conversation left Zayn smiling dopey to himself. They were such a cute couple. They reminded him of what he imagined he could have with Heidi. Now that that was never happening with her, maybe he could have just a small portion of that with someone new was inching his way in his life.

Mindy quickly got out the appropriate knife and cut slices of the fruit for them. Instead of sitting down, they just stood around the kitchen together and ate them. As they ate, Zayn learned new things about Liam that he hadn't known before. But his most favorite thing was something Liam told him in secret when Mindy stepped out of the room to answer a call. He learned that Liam thought playing the piano for Mindy at their wedding reception would be romantic and he desired to do just that even though he didn't know how to play well yet.

Apparently he had been going off to take piano lessons without her knowledge for two months already. What was so fascinating to him about it was that Liam never struck Zayn as the romantic type. He did see him as kind and sweet but he never thought he would ever bother going the extra mile just to please the woman who already loved him and would soon be called his wife.

After their snack, Mindy put the rest of the watermelon in Harry's refrigerator. "The watermelon will be here on the bottom shelf when you want it, Harry."

"Okay. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Oh, and Harry."

"Yeah?"

"There's something I wanted to ask you but I keep forgetting. So let me ask you right now before I forget again."

"What?"

"Since we already know you're going to be in the wedding, I want to know if you want to walk down the aisle with anyone. If you do and you're not choicy, I could get one of my good trusted friends from work to walk with you."

He thought for a moment before replying. And it was more of a question than an answer. " Are you saying I don't have to?"

"Yes I am. You don't have to walk with anyone if you don't want to. I know you like to do stuff on your own so if you would rather walk by yourself, when we figure out which venue it will be at, we'll need to go there once a week and let you practice counting your steps so you'll know what to do when the day comes."

He felt for the chair at the table and sat down. "No, no. I know I like doing stuff on my own. But I don't want to put so much on you on your wedding day. I don't mind walking with your friend from work. I'm not choicy."

"You're sure?"

"Mhm. I don't mind. Bring on the partner."

She smiled and walked over to him and left a huge kiss on his cheek. "You're the best, Harry. That's why we both love you. Always thinking of others."

Liam nodded. "That's very true. For as long as I've known you, you've been like that. I especially appreciate the way you've looked out for Mindy time after time."

Harry blushed. "Aw thanks, guys. I love you too."

As all of this was happening, Zayn was right there at the counter, standing back and watching them. There was so much love here among them. So much respect and warmth. He wondered how he could ever fit here. These three seemed to move on through life with ease and with roughly no setbacks at all. They weren't struggling with addictions or sometimes the proper view of self worth. Life just seemed to flow on by for them.

To anyone else, he didn't really belong here with them. Not even on paper. But somehow it didn't matter to them. Their differences never really made a difference to either of them. This was probably what he had been looking for even when he never knew he was looking for it. A second family. A home away from home. A place to go when times only got harder.

And they certainly were not going to get any easier. Not if he was really serious about making the cigarette he smoked today the last one he'll ever touch.


	19. "Found You."

Yaser came into the main lobby of the mechanic shop with a happy sigh and went up to the counter where Zayn was standing.

"Alright. I've just finished the Valders' SUV. Give them a call and let them know it's ready. Then pull it out of the garage and into one of the pickup spaces."

"Yes, sir. I'll do that."

But right away, he noticed Zayn seemed to be anxious and irritable and it worried him. So instead of going back into the shop, he stood there and watched Zayn so he could observe his behavior.

His son picked up the phone and referred to a call log next to him to dial the Valder family. About thirty seconds later, Zayn had reached the customers and was telling them their vehicle had been serviced and completed. When he finished the call, he hung up the phone and looked at his father.

"You have the key?"

"I do."

"May I have it?"

"Yes. But first... What's wrong?"

Zayn furrowed his brow. "What?"

"You seem anxious about something."

Zayn took a moment to answer so he didn't say anything he didn't want his father to know just yet. "Nothing, dad. I think I'm just tired. A little low on energy."

"That's all?"

"Mhm."

Yaser was skeptical but he didn't want his son to think his concern had turned into an interrogation. So he chose to end his questions there. "Then here are the keys. I'll be inside the shop if you need me."

"I'll do that. By the way, I'm going on my lunch break in a minute too."

"Sure."

When his father held the keys out to him, Zayn took them from him and quietly went into the garage so he could pull it into a parking space for pickup. Yaser always knew when there was something on his son's mind. But he also knew Zayn was old enough to tell him when something was bothering him if he felt he needed to. So he let it go and he checked the list of customers to see who was next in line to be serviced.

Meanwhile, once Zayn had parked the car, he returned the keys, then came back outside where he hurriedly dug in his pocket and took out a package of nicotine gum. He still didn't want his parents to know he was trying to quit smoking so he quickly put a piece in his mouth and shoved the package back in his pocket. Standing against the brick wall at the side of the building, he chewed the gum for a very short while, then rested it in his cheek.

When he was reading up on how to use nicotine gum, the article stressed that chewing and then holding it in the cheek was important. Then he was supposed to keep repeating those steps of chewing and holding for about thirty minutes and spit it out. Sure, it may have been a lot but he was determined to do anything it took to stop smoking. So he didn't complain about the taste even though he was not a fan of it at all.

As he stood there, he tried thinking of other things to get the cravings to go away. Maybe if he could convince himself that cigarettes tasted awful, then it would work. But he found it hard to trick the mind into thinking that because all he could taste was the cigarette he couldn't have and nothing about its flavor repulsed him.

And that was what Zayn didn't understand. Even if he wasn't a heavy smoker, just smoking one or two cigarettes a day was enough to keep him addicted. Nicotine was so strong and so powerful that the withdrawals he had when he denied himself it caused him to give up trying to quit the first time. He hated being addicted to those cigarettes and the way they tasted. Especially when there were so many times where he really only smoked once a day.

Finally, he began to chew again and he sighed up into the air. _If it wasn't for Harry._  He thought. Because if it wasn't for him, he wouldn't be going through the trouble he was already starting to go through. Harry's approval was important to him. And besides that, it ought to make finding out the news that Mindy was moving away much more bearable knowing that the person he was going to be stuck with was someone he'd helped and witnessed succeed.

About thirty minutes later, he spit out the gum and went back inside. He felt much better and the cravings were gone. But he was surprised to see Yaser standing behind the counter and looking at him with question.

"What?" He asked.

"You said you went to lunch, right?" Yaser asked.

"Yeah."

"But you didn't take any food."

Zayn froze. "I didnt?"

"Your lunch bag was still in the refrigerator in the break room."

"Oh. I ah...."

Yaser frowned and carefully stepped from behind the counter. "Are you sure you're alright, son? Because I'm getting worried."

"I'm fine." And he even giggled a little so he could try to convince him. "I told you I think I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

And that wasn't the whole truth. He got decent sleep last night but he did find himself extra tired after fighting cigarette cravings all morning.

"Well I think you should go home."

"What?"

"Yes, I think you should go home and get some rest. You don't seem like yourself."

"But I promise you it's nothing. I'm going to be fine."

"No. It's an order for you to go home."

"But—"

"An order. And you don't have to worry. Your paycheck won't be hindered. Just get some sleep. Tomorrow, I hope to see someone very different."

Instead of arguing, Zayn sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, sir." He mumbled.

Feeling very agitated, he got his food from the refrigerator, said goodbye to his parents and then went outside to his car. However, before he started the engine and drove anywhere, he just sat there in the car in deep thought. Even if he was mentally tired, he wasn't physically tired. So he wasn't sure he wanted to go home and force himself to nap or just find something else to do. And it was difficult to think when his brain couldn't even settle on one constant thought.

Was this what everyday was going to be like for him in the next few months? He didn't really fully read all the articles through and through about what to expect when he decided to stop smoking for good. But this feeling of anxiousness could only come from having not smoked in three days. It was no wonder that on the third day when he had quit the first time that he gave in that night.

As he closed his eyes and scolded himself about picking up the first cigarette he ever smoked, Harry came up in his brain and he frowned. Why was it that every time he thought about how difficult it was to keep his resolve to quit, that curly headed brunette's beautiful face came up and blanket over those thoughts? Maybe that was evidence that what he said to Harry a few days ago was truer than he ever thought. Harry was truly his motivation. His only reason.

Finding that realization quite funny, he finally shoved the key into the ignition and started to leave the parking lot. He finally knew where he was going now. And it wasn't home.

* * *

"I have to say, I was surprised to hear your voice on the other side of that intercom."

Zayn smiled pridefully. "Figured you would be."

"Why are you here though? Not to say you're not welcome but you're usually at work this time of day."

Zayn sighed and watched Harry lock the front door. "I got sent home early."

"From work?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because apparently not smoking is worrying my dad. He thinks something is wrong with me but honestly, I've just been irritated and anxious all day."

Harry leaned against the door. "You know, if you told your dad you were quitting, he wouldn't be worried as much."

"But I already told you why I won't tell him. I'm choosing not to say anything to my family until I'm sure that I'm done. Imagine how disappointed in me he will be if I give in and start smoking again. Might even be worse than what I did with Heidi."

Harry stood up from the door and started to walk towards Zayn. He reached out for him and when he felt him, he stopped and put his arms at his side. "Mindy and I looked up info on smoking a short while back and we read that the more people you tell you're quitting, it actually makes it easier for you. Because those people are now aware and they'll try to keep from bringing you around environments that trigger a thought for a cigarette. Plus, they can be your support system when you feel like giving in and they will try to avoid offering you things that have automatically made you reach for a cigarette in the past. Like coffee or certain other foods."

"Yeah but..."

"I mean... I'm flattered that you trust me enough to try this and not worry about me being disappointed in you but... you know. I just think your family should know. Those are the people you love and they love you too. They should make up a large portion of your support system."

"Eh."

"And what about Louis?"

"Louis?"

"The friend you just started talking to again. Does he know?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

Harry shook his head. "I don't like this. I don't like being the only one who knows. It worries me."

Zayn softened up. "Why does it worry you?"

"Because the less people you tell, the less people you fail. With that thought it mind, that makes it easier to give up. But I don't want you to give up."

He chuckled and put his hands on Harry shoulders, causing his lunch bag to bump against his side. "'The less people you tell, the less people you fail.' Sounds like poetry."

"And you're missing the point because you think it's funny."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just so... I don't know. I can't really concentrate. All day, I've been like this because I haven't had a cigarette in three days. I need a good knock on the head, I think."

"Or a distraction."

"Huh?"

"A distraction. If you're that anxious, you need something to do that can take your mind off of you."

"Okay. Take my mind off of me but put it on what?"

"Me."

He smiled with confusion at that answer. "Um..."

"Yes. Me." He walked past him into the living room. Zayn followed. "Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?"

"Hide and seek."

He laughed quietly. "Hide and seek? I haven't played that since I was a child."

"And even still, you've never played this version."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Because you'll need your bolindfold."

He perked up. "I will?"

"Yes. Do you have it with you?"

"No. It's at home."

"Then go get it."

"Ah... okay..."

Without questioning him, Zayn put his lunch bag in the refrigerator and he went next door to get the blindfold. When he came back, the door was already cracked open, so he just walked on in and locked it back.

"Now what?"

"Put it on."

He raised his brow but he did follow instructions once again. "Done."

"Okay. So this is a game that I used to play with Mitchell. We upgraded it from the children's version. He loved it. Right here is our starting point."

"The living room."

"Yes."

"I count for twenty five seconds while you find somewhere to hide. The thing is, you have to keep your blindfold on at all times, so that makes it hard to find a place and find it quietly. Which means you could give away where you are if you're not careful. After that, I have to feel all around the house until I find you. When I do, then it's your turn to count and then you have to feel all around the house until you find me."

"Okay. Sounds fair. And who wins? The person who finds the other the quickest?"

Harry paused. "Well, I... I don't know. We didn't time it. For us, our reward was each other. That way it was fun and we had something special and intimate to look forward to."

Zayn lifted his mask and poked out his lip. He didn't want to know that.

"But obviously that can't be our reward. So maybe the reward is that you won't feel so anxious anymore."

"I feel that's one sided but sure... I guess..."

"Good. Now, I should also explain that hiding means in plain sight. That's the beauty of being blinded. There's no need to hide under the bed or anything. Your partner just feels for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's get started. I'm going to count. You go hide."

"Wait..."

"One. Two. Three..."

"Harry."

"Five. Six..."

Knowing Harry was not going to stop counting, he slid his blindfold over his eyes and felt around. Unfortunately he wasn't Harry so he didn't really know this house inside and out. Therefore, he stumbled into the walls for a bit before settling on the first room on the right. As he reached his hands out to touch whatever was there, he realized that he was actually in the bathroom. So he felt around until he found the toilet and he sat down on it.

The twenty five seconds were up and Harry was announcing that he was coming to find him. Zayn guessed that was the hard part too. He was just sitting there waiting to be touched by a certain set of hands. It was so weird to be playing a game of hide and seek in this way.

He heard Harry go into the kitchen first and he sat there smiling to himself the whole time. Although an odd game, he never really got over the fact that Harry explored everything with his hands. So thinking of that only caused thoughts he hadn't really had in a while to finally return. He wanted those hands. Even if they did nothing but stroke the hair on his head, he still wanted them on him.

Just after two minutes total, Zayn could already hear Harry patting against the counter in the bathroom. He was amazed at how quickly he was already there. But then again, choosing the first room on the right didn't really pose that much of a challenge for someone who knew their own house like the back of their hand.

Just a few seconds more and he finally felt someone touch his shoulder. Then there was a poke to make sure it was him and a quiet laugh followed that. "Found you."

Zayn lifted his blindfold to his forehead and he looked up at Harry. "You're too good at this. I hope you don't expect me to find you just as quickly."

"I don't. But it will still be fun to have you come look for me."

"Mhm. We will see."

"It will." He felt down Zayn's arm and down to his hand until he grabbed it and pulled him up off the toilet. "Let's go. I'm going to hide. You come find me."

He brought him back to the living room and Zayn pulled his blindfold down over his eyes. "One. Two. Three..."

As he began to count to twenty five, Harry went off to hide. Zayn tried to cheat and listen to where he might be going but it was hard to do that. Harry was really quiet about moving around. When he was done counting, he sighed and held his hands out in front of him. He was scared to knock anything over and break it. So once he found the wall in the hallway, he walked along side it as a guide.

Like last time, he found the first room on the right. Part of him was hoping that Harry made this easier on him and hid in the exact same spot he did. But he was disappointed to find that there was no Harry in the bathroom. He continued searching through the house, going into the all three bedrooms and feeling along the edge. He felt around the entire house before he realized he still had not found Harry.

"I thought you said the game was to hide in plain sight! This is not hiding in plain sight!" He said.

But Harry said nothing. Likely because he was still hiding and didn't want to give himself away.

Zayn stopped to think. If he were Harry, what would he consider hiding in plain sight? That's when he remembered that Harry wasn't like himself. He didn't need to hover near the walls because he knew his own house all to well.

 _I bet he's standing in the middle of the room._  He thought to himself.

It was clear that Harry wasn't in the hallway and he wasn't in the bathroom or his bedroom because there wasn't enough room for him to stand without Zayn running into him. But he did remember the room at the very back and all the way to the left— the one with all the candles Harry collected in it. It was very spacious and open. He was willing to say for sure that Harry was in that room right now.

Finding his way down the hallway again, he kept going until he felt the last door on the left. He went inside and ambled his way through with his hands stretched down and out. It was only ten seconds in, that he poked something soft in front of him. And then there was another quiet laugh like the one he heard earlier.

He took off his blindfold and smiled at the man in front of him. "Found you."

"Took you long enough, didn't it?"

"Shut up." Zayn chuckled and he leaned forward to wrap his arms around him so he could pick him up and spin him. It was unexpected for Harry, so by the time he put him back down on his feet, his arms were already securely wrapped around Zayn's neck.

"Whoa."

"I know." Zayn answered and he could not resist planting a quick kiss on Harry's lips when he saw them.

Harry just stood there in shock at what happened but so did Zayn because he couldn't believe that it just came so easy for him. He kissed him without even thinking about it first. Why did he feel so confident about it? He didn't know the answer to that. But he did know that he liked it. So he kissed him again and then pecked his cheek.

Harry had hunched his shoulders a bit and turned his head sideways but he was grinning so hard and it was so adorable to Zayn.

"I think you were right." Zayn finally said.

"About what?"

"I did need a distraction. And you were not a bad choice for that."

"Not a bad choice? I was a great choice."

Zayn smiled but it went away when he turned sideways and yawned. "Well I'm not anxious anymore but I sure am tired now. Fighting the cravings have worn me out."

"Oh... Well, you can sleep in my bed if you want." Harry offered without hesitance.

Zayn flinched. "Uh... I'm not sure that's appropriate."

"Why not? You're just taking a nap and I don't mind."

"Yeah, but... I... I like to sleep in my underwear." He finally blurted out.

Harry smiled and dropped his hands. "That's okay." He said. "It's not like I can see it anyway, you know..."

_True..._

"Well... But it's still your bed and your bedroom. That's a private place."

"Sure. And the fact that it's mine means that I have every right to offer it to you, which I did."

Zayn paused. Harry just had an answer for everything, didn't he?

"Hmm. You don't mind me in my underwear in your bed. Sounds like a boyfriendly thing to me."

He chuckled and folded his arms. "No it's not."

"How?"

"Because it's simply a generous offer. It's only a big deal if I'm next to you. And I'm not going to be."

Zayn licked his lips. "I like how you're taking this whole _'you're not considered my boyfriend until you suck my tongue'_ thing so serious."

Harry gasped. "Stop."

"What? It's true."

Harry ignored him and slowly made his way out of the room, this time feeling around until he got to the door.

"And you know it's true."

"Do I?"

He followed him. "Yes. You do."

"Interesting."

"It is. Isn't it?" He wrapped his arms around Harry, enjoying the way that he felt there because he seemed to be full in all the right places on his body. That made for a perfect cuddle partner but he hadn't really considered that until now. He wondered if that was only reserved for when they could actually call themselves boyfriends though.

"Are you napping here or not?" Harry questioned seriously, though now laughing.

"Yes." Zayn finally answered. "But I tend to take long naps so I might be there a while. If... if that's okay with you."

"That's okay. I will just be here listening to the tv until you get up. Maybe then we'll actually have a conversation that doesn't revolve around you trying to change my mind about what to label you."

"We'll see about that." Zayn let go then turned around and made his way to Harry's bedroom.

When Harry heard the door close, instead of turning on the TV, he sat on the couch and lay out on it with a huge smile on his face. He was still very sure that he didn't want to get in the business of naming this relationship something it wasn't until Zayn was absolutely comfortable doing things that would qualify under that. But those two spontaneous kisses really did something inside of him. He really liked Zayn. They must've been moving in that direction for sure. He hoped so. Because his guess would be that it would be pretty hard to go on introducing this man as a friend to other people when he was really enjoying being kissed by him on multiple occasions.


End file.
